Pride's Only Weakness
by Lady LightningBird
Summary: Discontinued until further notice.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I don't own Dragon Age.  
**

 **Hey everyone, so sorry for the vacancy. Anyway, my chapters were too short and there were too many so I just squished them together because when people look to read something having a lot of chapters can be intimidating. The story is the same but I feel like I smoothed some things about and hopefully it will make you all want to read it again. Thank you for the support and everything. Read, review, enjoy.**

 **...**

Chapter 1:

Kana Lavellan's right hand squeezed around her left wrist but the pain, green and erratic, emanating from the anchor couldn't dull the ache in her chest as she watched Solas' form disappear through the Eluvian before her. She was on her knees, eyes swimming with tears from both calamities, unable to move.

He had known that she would die.

He had always known that the anchor would come to consume anyone else besides its rightful owner…and now that was what he _expected_ to happen.

But Kana struggled to her feet, sweat beading on her forehead. Her mind was reeling, conflicting emotions crashing upon each other like a swell in the ocean. She put one foot in front of the other. Of the chaos in her head there was one thing she was sure of: she would not abandon him.

…

Solas stepped through the Eluvian. His shoulders slumped, his legs wavered and he found himself kneeling, gloved hands coming to hide his face. He was Fen'Harel, the Dread Wolf, the one who had sundered the waking world from the Fade in order to save his People. And never had he hated his fate more.

Twenty-four months had passed since the defeat of Corypheus, since he'd walked away from the Inquisition and Kana Lavellan. For two years he looked over his shoulder expecting a pair of curious crystalline eyes to be there, for a set of thin but strong arms to wrap around his waist. Solas had missed her but hadn't allowed himself to admit it until now, until her death was imminent. This would be the end of him, of Solas. From this moment forth he would simply be Fen'Harel. That was what was required of him and that was what he would give. His life, his death, he would give them everything...everything that was left.

A resounding thump turned his attention back to the Eluvian. Usually the mirrors were opaque when connected directly to other Eluvians. Those that ghosted into the Crossroads were clearer, translucent, at least from one side, the side that Solas knelt. Kana slumped down against the blocked gateway, her tiny form overtaken by the missive mirror. Solas had sealed it on habit rather than on purpose. He hadn't expected her to try and come after him, not when mortality was creeping closer with every second. Kana rammed her shoulder into the barrier to no avail, tears streaming down her cheeks, bare forehead smudged against the magical glass. He'd never seen her so distraught, not even after the death of her clan.

He shouldn't have done it. He shouldn't have fallen in love with her. The world was as cruel as it always was, as it always had been. Again and again he had been forced to come to terms with such a truth, overcoming treachery, murder, war, each time losing something dear to him. This would be the last. He would make sure of it. Immortality, as it had been, was a gift but in this age, so different from the one he'd left, it was nothing but a curse, something that poisoned his blood. Kana's soundless cries from the opposite side of the Eluvian were deaf to his ears, her delicate mouth twisted by emotion until her head dropped and she turned motionless. Her fate was set. There was nothing he could do.

So Fen'Harel stood and looked down at his vehnan one last time before walking away. Each step put more distance between them...each step echoed through the ages, through time...and with that he hardened his heart to stone just as he had done to the Viddasala...just as he would his enemies.

The world would soon know that the Dread Wolf had returned.

…

Kana breathed against the glass, her air fogging the smooth surface. Another spasm rocked her body and Kana could no longer keep her fear in the back of her mind. It was brought forth like the breaking of a dam, flooding into her soul to fuel self-preservation. Nothing remained but the sounds of nature and her own huffing lungs. Solas was gone and he was not coming back.

She shifted her weight from underneath her and swallowed hard; her tears, her fear, her desperation. She needed to get back to the others. An image of storm-like Cassandra pacing back and forth in front of an Eluvian that only allowed Kana entrance flashed through her mind. She would be scolded later, undoubtedly.

Using the mirror before her as a system of support, Kana got to her feet, body shaking and looked back to whence she'd come, barely able to see the gateway over the crest of the rise. She shuffled forward, past the eerie statue of the Viddasala and the other stone members of her army that waited below. Kana fumbled her way back to the Eluvian and fell into it just as her hand flared again, the ground coming up to meet her. Kana's friends raced forward.

"Inquisitor! What happened? Where is Solas? The Qunari?" Cassandra dropped to her knees. She was given no answer; her sultry Nevaran accent couldn't compete with the pounding in Kana's head. Something other than the anchor was causing discomfort. They were screaming – screaming at her in their ancient language to move faster, to live longer. Whatever magic the Vir'Abelasan had on its own within Kana's body, it was also trying to stave off the oncoming doom. She shut them out, not needing any advice from them. They kept trying, clearly upset at the thought of losing their host.

Cassandra's hands, strong and solid despite her two years as Divine, gripped Kana's shoulder as the elvhen woman convulsed over onto her back, still griping the appendage that caused her pain. She felt as if her finger tips were crumbling, as if the anchor was sucking the life from her.

"Hurry, cut it off. Cut it off!" Kana's screams took Cassandra aback and she looked to the others in the party: Cole and Iron Bull. The boy, more spirit-like than ever, was fumbling his hands into knots and looked to be shaking himself.

"It's too bright, consuming anything and everything until it's gone, no noise, nothing. They don't want to die either. Please, take it off!"

As Kana squirmed before them, Bull and Cassandra locked eyes. He gave his assurance with a somber nod, offering the use of his battle axe by unstrapping it from his back. Even without Cole's obvious discomfort, both the human and Qunari knew. The Inquisitor would either not leave this place whole or not leave it at all.

"Cole, hold her down." The barked order from Cassandra snapped Compassion from his mumblings and he obeyed as she began unbuckling the armor covering the limb. Kana's other hand went to the grass under her, knotting into the soil. Pressing a knee to Kana's left shoulder, the Divine nearly gasped at seeing the tendrils of green magic running up Kana's arm like poisonous veins. She pulled a dagger from her belt and cut a length of cloth from under her own fitted, golden metal, tying it tightly around where Kana's arm met her shoulder. Many times had the former Seeker been forced to play the physician out of necessity but it was never something she became comfortable with. The Divine cautiously stretched the mark away from Kana's body at a right angle. She could feel the chaotic magic pulsing in the air around her own gloved hands.

"Hurry, I can't hold the magic any longer." At Kana's words, Cassandra looked to Iron Bull and nodded, leaning away from the increasing span of light, over the elvhen woman's torso. Bull raised his axe, his eyes meeting the face of his suffering friend. The Inquisitor looked away and so did the former Seeker. She felt the _woosh_ of the weapon as it fell, heard the sickening impact and the torrent of noise that followed from her friend's mouth. Cassandra Pentaghast would swear for the rest of her life that as the eerie green glow left the area, so did some of the light in Kana Lavellan's eyes.

…

Kana was only vaguely aware of being carried through the Crossroads and back into the Winter Palace. Bull's bloody blade was strapped securely to his back and he held the Inquisitor in his arms.

Over the ache of something no longer there was a drumming in Kana's head. Whispers, once silent for months, sprung to the forefront of her mind as if stretching their legs, pulling to and fro, testing and teasing. She didn't have the strength to be concerned about them now. Her arm was still bleeding through the strips of cloth wrapped around it.

As the news of their reappearance and the state of the Inquisitor spread, so the number of eyes grew. Cassandra led them to her private quarters, casting out her heart-stopping glare at any who came upon them. She'd ordered one of the Eluvian guards to inform the Council that the Invasion had been quelled. The man had asked about Kana and Cassandra's face softened. The elvhen woman wasn't out of danger yet and even if she lived, her life would never be the same.

"Tell them only that the Inquisitor was injured. Nothing more." The guard nodded and walked quickly in the opposite direction that Cassandra led the party.

Bull laid Kana out on the lavish bed, neither he nor the Divine concerned about its expensive coverings. Kana's jaw tightened and her eyes opened slightly. She reached her right hand over, hovering just above the bloody bandages. She swallowed hard and with what little strength she had, let healing magic thrum through her shaking fingers.

"Have to stop the bleeding." Kana mumbled but a cool hand stopped her own.

"The others are on their way, like angry bees. They don't know what has happened but they will help."

Cole placed her right hand over her chest and spread her fingers. The spirit bent down, hiding their faces with his mushroom like hat and spoke for only her to hear.

"You can't die yet. He needs you." The ambiguous 'he' was one everyone had danced around for the past two years, trying not to mention. It occurred to Kana that she hadn't told them yet, hadn't told them what he'd told her. Solas didn't expect her to survive, to live long enough to pass along any of the information he'd given her. Now it was her decision, her choice.

Cole removed his hand and seemed to wait for her response. That the spirit was still worried about her vehnan validated Kana's compassion and determination all the more. The Inquisitor nodded her head as solemnly and sincerely as she could muster and mouthed three distinct words. _I'll find him._

Cole retreated backwards, hands falling to his side. A question occurred in Kana's mind.

"What happened to my arm?" The Divine seemingly didn't want to answer as her face turned morbidly sour.

"It is gone. The anchor disintegrated almost as soon as it was cut from your body." Cassandra looked down at the mess of bandages.

"I've sent for a healer."

"And here is the only one you need. Now, would someone tell me what the _hell_ happened!?" Kana lifted her head to see Dorian, as dramatically as ever, burst through the door and, upon seeing her, the soon to be Magister nearly leapt to his friend's side.

"Well," he paused, "I've seen you look worse. At least you kept the arm of your good side, the more useful one. Not that being able to close rifts wasn't useful. Just be glad that your right handed, love." The necromancer's attempt at humor wasn't enough to summon a smile from his friend.

"I'll think of a comeback later." Kana murmured as Dorian went to work removing the bandages. She turned her head away, not wanting to see the damage. She felt it well enough.

Dorian was not the only one to come. Sera entered the room with all the grace and tact of a drunken chicken, immediately fussing, and was soon followed by Varric and Leliana, still dressed in her ambassador attire. Despite the obvious, Lady Nightingale wasted no time with her questions.

"Inquisitor, what happened? Josephine has suppressed the Council until tomorrow morning but they are going to demand answers." Kana could hear the laced concern in the red head's voice. Leliana had changed since Valence but she was just as calculated as ever. The concern was not for the Inquisitor. Kana had survived much worse compared to the lost of a limb. The Spymaster's concern for Thedas, for whatever threat Solas might pose. Kana opened her mouth to speak but a strange feeling had been building in the elvhen woman's chest. She held the truth to one of Thedas' greatest secrets and yet she was apprehensive about sharing it. Kana looked to the human faces hovering above her and wondered just how different the world would have been in all its possibilities. She didn't want to think anymore, about anything. There was too much for her to consider and she wanted to do it without the interference of anyone else. For the past three years she'd given her life to the Inquisition, thrown aside her own safety at Therinfall, Haven, Mythal's Temple, all for the people of Thedas. Was it wrong to be selfish now? Solas wanted to restore the People, _her_ People. The conflicting thoughts in her head melded with the pain from her arm and lesser injuries. Kana pressed her remaining hand to her forehead and spoke the only truth she knew she could give.

"The Qunari are dead. We are safe for now." The answer didn't settle Leliana's worries but pacified her for the moment and she was promptly moved aside by Dorian. Kana knew that the woman wasn't done with her yet and couldn't help but notice the curiosity on her friend's faces either. Moving the hand to her eyes, the Inquisitor closed them and emptied her lungs.

The loss of a limb, an arm, was something many in war went through but this loss wasn't at the hands of an enemy but at the hands of a friend and on her orders. She took deep breaths, letting her tired body sink fully into the bed.

Kana dosed in and out, the loss of blood taking its toll but there was always more than one face to greet her at the surface, more than one concerned companion to ask how she felt or if she needed anything. Everyone came either to bring her things or to simply offer kindness but Kana stayed silent, giving only the bare minimum of conversation and oft pretended to be asleep when she wasn't. Leliana haunted her like a wraith, always ready to repeat her unanswered questions and to pose new ones. As night came, most begrudgingly retreated to their own quarters, even the Spymaster, but Kana could see the twist of her mouth and the suspicion on her face as she left.

The only one remaining was Cole, who sat at the end of the bed. Neither spoke as he knew her sorrow and Kana didn't wish to remember it.

…

The next morning, there was no room for tears. Kana got up, although slightly wobbly, and summoned both food and a bath. Everything was a new experience now. She ate with one hand, bathed so as not to wet her bandages, and dressed in her ambassador suit, all while trying to correct the occasional intent to use her left hand. Each time would result in a sigh but that sigh fueled her determination. She needed to be strong, needed to be the Inquisitor one last time. With the Qunari threat nullified, there were other things that needed her attention. Over the course of darkness she'd decided what to do, the fate of the Inquisition. Kana would destroy the organization that she led, the one she'd worked so hard to save, to help flourish.

The Inquisitor stood in front of the mirror and fumbled with her chocolate hair. She couldn't braid it anymore and now it was nothing but a hindrance. She would have someone cut it later.

And so she left Cassandra's forfeited rooms and headed towards the Council Hall, ignoring the occasional noble and eyeing the elvhen servants who eyed her back. Josephine was already in the chamber, trying to appease the gathered parties. Cassandra would be back in her stupid hat. The doors opened and she marched into the Council room, holding Divine Justinia's writ in her remaining hand. Kana spotted a few of her previous party members within the crowd but didn't meet their gaze. Everything was shifting in her mind. Whatever they had been before, those who'd joined the Inquisition had become a driving force within Thedas, a hope of peace and victory against the Elder One. Now the world was continuing to spin and alliances had shifted and were shifting. Much had changed in the last hours, Kana included.

All were surprised at the exposure her entrance revealed though nothing was openly said. The nobles gathered had more important things to fret about other than an elvhen mage with one less arm. If anything, most were relieved, glad that the anchor was no longer a possibility, no longer an object of mystical power and consequence. Corypheus was gone, done…so should his magic be, or rather, what they thought was _his_ magic.

Kana had heard snippets of the arguments before her entrance. Leliana's persistence the night before had gleaned the bare minimum of what had happened to their leader. The humans knew about Solas but not about who and what he really was. They knew that he had brought the Invasion to light and that it was the Inquisition's fault. Kana would not give them more to worry about, especially when she was so undecided about the issue.

The elvhen woman swallowed hard and kept walking. Despite the hardships, the losses, the dark nights and the darker dreams, Kana was glad that it was she who'd become Inquisitor. She didn't doubt that things would begin changing soon. Solas would not stay idle much longer in his pursuit. With his orb broken, she knew that he was seeking other ways into the Fade and had been building his forces the past two years. There was a new faction gathering in Thedas. No human would have understood…no human would have gotten as close as she did to Solas when he was only 'Solas'. She had brought Thedas bowing to its knees, had shown the humans that elvhen were not to be underestimated, something many didn't want to recognize. Now, she was just something else to be pressed back under a boot.

Kana joined Josephine in front of the Council and all those in attendance, her mind decided. It was over. It was done. Solas said that it was his spies that tripped over the Qunari spies. How many factions had factions and networks within the Inquisition? It was no longer sacred, no longer beyond corruption. It _was_ corruption. The Orleasians wanted the organization collared like a Ferelden mabari, something vicious to ward off enemies and warm their beds. Kana would never see the Inquisition become a whore. She hated her options. With the disbandment, Ferelden would feel like they won a great victory, like Kana agreed with them. They were just scared. Kana hadn't met King Alistair but from his letters, it was clear he was no statesman. It was Queen Anora who handled diplomatic manners… _and_ stately matters. Kana was almost sure that Alistair was on the throne simply because his blood…and because Katrin Tabris hadn't wanted a bitch to rule her homeland unchecked…or to die fighting the Archdemon. It was Loghain Mac Tir's saving grace.

"Inquisitor?" Josephine murmured, trying hard for her gaze not to drift to the empty space at Kana's left side. The Antivan had visited her briefly the day before. Josephine was an ambassador, someone more accustomed to nobles and niceties rather than blood and the bearing of arms. The elf in question took one long, deep breath and spoke, holding the book in her right hand up for all to see.

"You know what this is. A writ from Divine Justinia…"

The whole room remained still as she spoke, a humble Dalish commanding the attention of all those aristocrats, probably for the last time. She paused, her feelings left bare before the entire room. Corypheus was gone and the Inquisition was now too big to do its job. Kana took another deep breath and faced the Council.

"I declare the Inquisition disbanded."

The entire room went up in debate, in opinion, in shouts. The Ferelden ambassador's face turned into a snark grin that Kana wanted to blast off with her magic. But her time was done. She was no long Inquisitor. Other than the ridiculous title of Comtesse that Varric had given her if she ever wanted to go to Kirkwall, she was now, once again, a nobody. The feeling was opposite from the opposite. Being named 'The Herald of Andraste' was harrowing, against all her beliefs as a Dalish, and honestly, something she didn't want. Now that it was done, now that the world was ready to move on and forget, Kana didn't know how to feel. She did however know what to do.

Kana walked away from them all, the humans who were too busy still debating to watch her leave. She had something else to do now. Another quest to set out upon. Whether to stop him or join him, she did not yet know.

What she did know was that she needed to find Fen'Harel.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I don't own Dragon Age**

 **...**

Chapter 2:

Kana Lavellan walked quickly, carefully, under the glittering torchlight of Lydes, shaded by the black folds of a cloak. The city was quite large and prospering despite its often absent ruler. It was malleable and the perfect place for one of Leliana's safe houses. Its proximity to the Winter Palace and the fact that Caralina didn't often visit or pry was amiable. A short ride on a merchant's wagon had brought Kana to the town. The others had tended to their own transportation.

Even at night the city was bustling, gilded carriages moved along, pulled by horses as high in fashion as their owners. She counted at least two ongoing celebrations taking place in the intricately styled mansions that she passed. Even recent events wouldn't rob the Orleasians of their pomp and circumstance. Not many outside the Exalted Council were aware of just how close the southern courts of Thedas had come to destruction and Kana wondered if they ever would. After Corypheus and the Breach, Thedas seemed to crave peace, at least on the surface. Kana was certain that in the dark, new powers were growing, ready for their chance in the light.

Kana slinked through the shadows. She had grown accustomed to the towering buildings in place of towering trees but couldn't deny the sense of ease she felt when exploring a forest rather than a large city. Rain pattered off her hood, simple, collected, and entirely Orlesian, as if it was sorry for the puddles she avoided and the water in her eyes but continued anyway because it actually _didn't_ care.

She reached for the map in her pocket but corrected herself on the use of her nonexistent hand. The past few hours had consisted of some of the most frustrating moments Kana had ever known and sweat coated the back of her neck. The elvhen woman almost wanted to strap what remained of her left arm to her side just so she wouldn't try to unconsciously use it. She and Leliana had filled those hours, after the Exalted Council, with discussion, hidden away in what resembled a broom closet. After close consideration Kana had finally revealed most of what had happened to her spymaster. The woman had listened quietly. What surprised Kana however was how easily she accepted it all. The truth of the ancient elvhen gods must have made Leliana feel more fervent in her own faith.

Kana told her the truth of the Evanuris and the Fade but when asked about Solas' plans Kana had bitten her tongue.

"He wants to restore the People. _My_ People."

It was not a lie but kept hidden a deeper danger, one that Leliana surely picked up on.

When Kana had first met the previous Left Hand, the red head had been distant, unyielding in her brutality and her determination, but everyone has a soft spot. Leliana's was the mage rebellion. She had wanted to aid the mages and have them freed, even Kana wanted that but the others of the Inquisition knew how precarious their organization was at the time. Thedas might not have forgiven them for openly supporting the mages, despite the magic wielding 'Herald of Andraste'. After some debate, Kana realized that Leliana might be one of the only ones who might _support_ the elvhen people, she had supported Briala after all. But Leliana was not one to be fooled.

"And he plans to bring down the Veil in the process."

There was silence between them as Kana's face softened in contemplative sorrow. Leliana had leaned back in her chair and crossed a leg over the other, a hand going to her chin. She seemed almost speechless, shock covering her face.

'But that would...that could..."

Kana had looked back up, her right hand going to her left side, feeling the empty place.

"I don't know what would happen. I don't think he knows exactly either. I need to find him, talk to him."

The Spymaster's face narrowed.

"And if that doesn't work?" Kana hadn't answered and the conversation ended there, with Leliana sharing in Kana's conflictions. Now they were meeting in Lydes. Kana suspected that this wasn't going to result in a simple friendly chat.

She wiped the rain out of her eyes. Her arm was hurting but that wasn't the only thing.

Something other than anatomy had changed. The Vir'Abelasan felt…stronger, more aware. They whispered to each other in ancient elvhen in the back of her mind and it was only when Kana concentrated that she could really hear them. Otherwise they were like crickets in the night, like the sound of the waterfall in the undercroft. They had yet to include Kana in their discussions.

Shoving the piece of paper back into her pocket, Kana continued on her path, and adjusted her cloak against the torch light. She was to be discrete in going to this meeting. The one thing that worried her most was the fact that she was still wearing her ambassador robes. She hadn't wanted to face the new struggle of undressing and redressing just yet and hoped that this little risk wouldn't ruin her. There were always spies, always people who wanted to do harm to others. The Inquisition and the Inquisitor had made enemies, most probably hidden like the Qunari had been. If she wasn't careful, any innocent glance would see the gaudy red color underneath her cloak. The cape was worn at an angle, that angle covering Kana's newest sacrifice, leaving her right flank slightly exposed. It wasn't a good cloak, but the only one she could find after Josephine had her few belongings packed quite immediately. They were leaving for Skyhold under cover of night, away from prying eyes. No goodbyes, no diplomatic fanfare. The Inquisition was gone…now so would its Inquisitor be.

Kana thought back to what Inquisitor Ameridan said, what he'd suffered. He'd warned her in as few words as possible that the title would bring despair, ruin, and for Ameridan, if predecessors are to be considered, death. He'd died centuries after everything he knew, having been locked in an eternal battle with the Will of Hakkon. Kana wondered he didn't go crazy. Maybe he did and that small semblance of his old self was only brought up by the Avvar threatening his sacrifices. Kana also thought of Telana, Ameridan's lover. It was shocking how both were mages, both were elves, both were separated by events they couldn't abate. The parallels were ironic; Kana just didn't see them at the time. She wondered if Solas did. The man she'd come to love had always been a little grim and fatalistic but now that she knew the truth, Kana wondered at how hard he'd fought against bitterness for the things he lost, for his own guilt. She understood how upset he'd been after she drank from the Well. He'd asked her how she planned to use it, about a future she couldn't see. Only now did she understand the emotion behind his rebuff; of things being worse than what was. She'd unknowingly given him the hope he needed to keep on his quest. Was this her fault? Was it her own optimistic nature that made him leave her behind? Kana didn't want to think about it.

Stopping on a street corner, Kana eyed her surroundings, a bridge to her right, a park to her left. Leliana's instructions were as elusive as she was. Luckily, Lady Nightingale hadn't put any stairs on Kana's route. Kana's comprehension of 'balance' was a little off now-a-days.

Scratch that…there was one flight of stairs at the point where the bridge met the road. Kana picked the set on the right and grasped the slippery rail for fear of falling. She had needed to live but damn, having only one arm was awful. It was a weakness, something someone somewhere would try to exploit. Kana hoped that her spymaster had good news. _Her_ spymaster: not the Inquisition's, not the Chantry's, _her's_. Kana could feel it though, the hidden tension between them. Leliana was wary of Kana. Lady Nightingale didn't know which way the ex-Inquisitor would go when the choice finally came upon her.

Kana entered the sewers below the bridge, and followed the right wall all the way to a wooden door. Leliana met her there and ushered her inside, eyes watchful, making sure to bar the door before continuing. The silence was deafening.

Where they ended up brought Kana's eyebrows together in questioning and curiosity. The underground room looked almost identical to the jail back in Haven. Indeed, the same sun symbol was carved into the floor under a wooden table in the middle of the room. How quaint.

"Scout Harding…" Kana greeted, nodding at the freckled dwarf who did the same in return. Who she didn't expect to see was Cassandra. Divine Victoria appeared as her former self, wearing her telltale absurd amount of armor. After being stuffed into expensive dresses, Kana would have liked to feel a bit of weight herself so she didn't begrudge the Seeker. Cassandra hadn't told her yet how the revival of that order was going. She would get the report later. Despite not being Inquisitor, it seemed, to Kana at least, that she was still one of the most important people in Thedas – one of the most important _People_ in Thedas. It was almost funny. Even without the Inquisition, even without the mark, she still held some amount of power that was worthy of following, of flocking to. But now was not the time for devotees or soldiers. What she needed now, were simply spies, spies Solas would know nothing about.

Lady Nightingale was right and it made Kana swallow. Solas _did_ know everything about them – their strengths _and_ weaknesses. It felt like another dagger although Kana knew, _"you saw more than most"._ A " _polite mask"_ , she'd called it, the face he wore. Kana wondered just how many faces Fen'Harel had…but she believed _Solas_. She _had_ seen more than most, habits, likes, dislikes. She may not have known about his past but she knew the person he was now. And she loved him. Kana thought back to their stolen moments in Skyhold, out in the field, when a break in blood and war allowed the chance to examine old ruins or discuss traditions over a campfire or on the couch in the Rotunda; the back of a strong but nimble hand caressing the nape of her neck as he passed by, the small treasures she'd collect and find, leaving scraps of cloth, feathers, flora, pressed between the pages of his beloved tomes and where he'd least expect to find such.

With a sigh that did not go unnoticed by the others in the room, Kana returned her attention to the table, walking around it and taking a dagger in one hand.

"Then we find people he doesn't know." Cassandra and Leliana shared a glance and the breath Kana had just released seemed to suck more out of her than needed. As the women meandered around, checking empty reports and fussing over charts, the gesture replayed in her mind. Kana knew. She knew that these women, three of her closest friends, wouldn't understand. Her heart sank. She would do nothing for now, needing their help to try and find Solas. Whatever their intentions, Kana could walk their same path for that long at least but she knew…Kana knew that somewhere along the way, they would split. It had already begun. Kana was still Dalish, still proudly keeping some of the habits the humans hadn't been able to persuade her out of. A Princess and a Bard would have normally been outside her circle.

Shaking her head, Kana leaned over the table and stared at Thedas, at the world she saved. Now she was faced with the choice of undoing it once more.

 _"Tevinter…"_

Kana's body shivered, the voice was clear and singular, a distinct change in the Vir'Abelasan. She prodded her thoughts, searching for those who shared her mind. Kana reached out but they were silent once more, content on their one word message. She hadn't questioned their knowledge before and wasn't about to now. The northern country was the center of elvhen slavery, the center of magical corruption. Tevinter would be a definite target for Solas, and was now recognized by the ancient voices in her head. Kana would follow their suggestion. Returning to her surroundings, she lifted the dagger in her hand, studied it…then rammed its point straight through the northern country.

...

Kana slept fitfully, her visions distorting the Fade into flashes of colors and shapes, on the edge between conscious dreaming and the waking world, straddling the Veil. All the while there were whispers; whispers and wisps of beings coming and going, floating and falling, all wanting her attention, her mind, her focus. There were too many to count, numbers going back through the ages that refused to let her sleep peacefully or deeply. Kana suffered for it.

A week after the Exalted Council, a week after leaving the Orlesian capital saw them nearing the Frostback Mountains, breathing the familiar crisp air. Kana was glad to be through the Dales. Too much history, blood, and false belief twisted into her stomach while roaming those scarred lands and their wagon train felt too much like a last march, going home broken and battered from enemy fire. The clan she'd befriended was long gone. Keeper Hawan had died months ago, his even more distrustful First replacing him. The younger man remembered Kana but without any apparent danger, had withdrawn the clan's aid from the were not the only allies to have wavered.

Stragglers moved in and out of the group. There were no ranks anymore, no offices or officers. Everyone was going back to Skyhold simply to leave it again and return to wherever they'd come from to be there. Sitting astride her hart, Kana looked over the line of people. The elves stayed in clusters, now under more suspicion than ever while the humans whispered about them behind their hands. Nothing had changed it seemed, old and inbred habits returning to root. She could see the words 'knife-ear' in the eyes of too many of her own men. Kana focused her attention forward, knotting her hands in her hart's coat.

Of her inner eleven, only three accompanied her back to Skyhold: Leliana, Cullen, and the Iron Bull. The others had left: Dorian to Tevinter, Varric to Kirkwall, Vivienne to Montsimmard, Cole to the Fade, Rainer to Weisshaupt, Cassandra to her Sunburst Throne, and even Sera had disappeared back into the chaos of everyday life. Josephine was to stay in Orlais then come within the following weeks to see the diplomatic relations of the Inquisition settled. Kana had seen her reaction. She was disillusioned with the organization she'd risked everything for. Many were.

The three who followed, however, were like Kana; they had nowhere else to go and could feel each depression their mounts made in the accumulating snow. Kana didn't know how many more would leave in the coming weeks or what would be done with Skyhold. In the past years it had become more than a fortress…for some it had become a home. Her mind drifted south, to the Frostback Basin, to Stone-Bear Hold. She could go live with the Avvar. She could go live in Kirkwall. For the first time in her life, Kana Lavellan could go anywhere she wanted and that set a stirring in her heart. But what she wanted wasn't exactly a place. It was a feeling…it was a person. Solas would not allow himself to be found easily. It would take time, work to find any trace of him and she would not stay at Skyhold any longer, not when she knew it belonged to him.

Looking over her shoulder at the procession, Kana caught the eye of the ex-Commander. She could tell he was tired but there was lightness to his broad shoulders, something that hadn't been there before. The responsibility was gone and Kana was sure Cullen would leave soon as well, probably to go visit his family then to begin building his reformatory for templars who wanted to fight their addictions. Divine Victoria had given him enough land for it and Kana knew it would do well under his leadership and example. Iron Bull – Kana was not sure why he was coming. Maybe the Qunari invasion had shaken him up. Maybe it was the loss of her arm at his blade. He still had the Chargers though, riding behind him proudly. Dalish and Skinner were still in their ranks and Kana was glad to see their loyalty but even they were looked on out the corner of eyes. Leliana had informed her that the mercenary company was swimming in job proposals. Bull wouldn't stay idle for long and it would soon take his attention away.

The Spymaster was to stay the longest. They still had plans to discuss, threads to place.

The group camped on the edge of the range, a city of tents that reminded Kana of the days spent forging their way north after the fall of Haven. There was the same level of contemplation, of silence. It would be another three days before the party would reach Skyhold but would have been longer without the roads constructed by the Inquisition. For all the good the organization had done, it was once again over, thrown to the wolves and left for history to decide upon.

That night, Kana sat in front of the fire watching the flames dance in the eyes of the others around her until the embers burned low and the wind chilled her skin. She fiddled with the locket around her neck, a gift from Dorian. Inside was a communication crystal. It was late though and she didn't want to bother him, wherever he was now, either back in Tevinter or on the road like they were, probably just as uneasy as she was. A few of the Chargers sat around the fire, slightly snoring, having succumb to the ale they'd lifted from the Orlesian tavern. Bull was one of them, head lobbed over on one side. Their relaxation was a welcome sight. She remembered nights such as this, as her varying party had traveled through snow and sand, nights around a fire telling tales when spirits were high or evenings in silent contemplation of grim tidings. There had been battles of wit, rounds of cards, jars and jokes that only friends could construct with each other. And he had been there too just as quick to answer a witty pun or accept a challenge, a playfulness not often shown in their tight companionship.

Kana stood and tucked the chain under her clothes, feeling the cold metal chill her skin further. She paused before moving, surveying the small settlement. There was no singing this time, just emptiness and uncertainty and she soon couldn't bear to stay that way anymore, with goodbyes and regrets hanging thick like smoke around the blaze.

"Goodnight." She said to the dark, stepping over the log she'd been perched on, and walking to her tent. Never had she'd taken advantage, willingly, of the luxury the Inquisition had afforded her. Kana's tent was a field tent like every other soldier, ever other person who slept under the stars in the camp. The simplicity reminded Kana of her Dalish life but more importantly it reminded her to be humble. She would not bask in riches like so many while children begged on the street. The elvhen woman hadn't, however, gotten the Lady Ambassador to budge an inch on the topic of the enormous bed she'd been given at Skyhold and over time Kana had succumbed to that soft luxury.

Kana stepped inside her tent and secured the flap best she could, glad to have a tiny frame. Kana couldn't imagine how the Commander slept…or Bull. Both were bigger than she was twice over, thrice on Bull's account. Kana packed herself in tight, knees coming up towards her chest to create a ball of warmth on the frozen ground. Her magic helped, heat radiating from her body. It was how she'd survived as a Dalish; often going without any protection while she let others used her belongings, those that couldn't survive nights under the cold sky, whose constitution wasn't as developed.

Kana lay on her right side, careful not to nudge her still healing arm. It ached slightly and Kana wondered how many sleeves would now have to be altered for the deformation. A thought caught in her mind and a small smile crossed her arm. Vivienne, at realizing that her elvhen friend would never look just right in any high fashion again, had suggested that sleeves of different length might just be the trend for next season's lines.

Kana took a deep breath at the ridiculousness and stared at the gray side of her tent. She retreated into the back of her mind, attempting to stir the ancient elvhen into answering questions, questions she asked them each night ritualistically, but they were silent as always.

Kana pulled her blanket closer, not even bothering to remove her boots, and closed her eyes.


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I don't own Dragon Age**

...

Chapter 3:

 _Whispers, voices much older than her's called out with new clarity, new beginning and awareness, echoing and arguing with their brethren. How great were their numbers, their voices? How many lives had given purchase to the Vir'Abelasan? They knew not, they simply_ were _– waking, wanting. Their host was asleep. The girl was in the Fade. This would be the beginning._

…

Kana sat straight up. Gone were her tent and blanket, even the giant coat she'd had on the keep out the snowy chill. She wore what she imagined, her old Dalish vestments, as comfortable and familiar as her own skin. But the clothes felt wrong somehow and Kana couldn't help but doubt even the stylistic choices of her People. Was this what the ancient elvhen had worn or was this another fabrication, something left by those who knew not the truth? There was so much she wanted to know, to find out, and to restore. Solas had expected her to die. What would he say now that she lived? What would his response be? Her new quest was clear. She would find him and find out. But that was the only thing that bothered her. The vestments were so foreign now, seemingly spoiled by the inquisition armor always tailored to her form, one set replaced with another as soon as some part became too warn. Clothing had been different among the Dalish, more treasured, leather worn and worked until it was soft as the most expensive velvet.

Kana left her robes as they were but turned her head to notice the only difference: her left arm. She looked down at the empty space slowly, the pain there seemingly traveled up into her chest, her heart. The cut had been made just above her elbow. The bandages were gone and the place where her arm ended was distorted, clouded, like the appendage was only concealed by illusion. Kana, with her fingers, swirled the space there. This was not the first dream since the Exalted Council that she had drifted in the Fade, between the waking world and true deep sleep so the slowly adjusted phenomenon kept her focus less and less each time.

Kana glanced around the forest-edged glen. This world had changed, in appearance and meaning. Each time it drew her it, the Fade was more vibrant, powerful, as if expecting what was to come, siphoning and savoring its power before the plunge. This was no longer a place of dreams to Kana, but of fragments, of places no longer in existence with visions of people who no longer lived. Solas had changed her naive reservation and fear into indifference between the two halves, especially now that she knew they were once one in the same. In the past two years, she'd traveled farther than she thought to, discovered decrepit buildings and structures. Now she wondered if those two had been part of themarvels of an empire long gone.

She closed her eyes and tried to imagine it as it had been, the waking world and the Fade combined. She repeated the descriptions Solas had given her in her head but they fell utterly short. _"It must have been beautiful"_.

All week she had been going through her thoughts, her memories of him, examining every hint, every sorrowed slipped from between guarded lips but each time they dissipated, having become vague over the course of two years. But she remembered most. There were things he'd never said but he'd never lied to her. No...he'd never lied.

Movement caught her eye, pushing blood through her veins, but as Kana's eyes settled on a pair of wisps at the edge of the glen, she sighed. Both were light blue, flinching across the scenery with an ethereal glow. She wondered if they knew she was here. She wondered if they had names. But then another joined the two, floating towards her. Kana stayed still among the tall grass, letting them inspect her, coming to play in Kana's shortened hair. Before leaving, Vivienne had taken a pair of scissors to the tresses, cutting them nearly the same length as Sera's own mop but thankfully a little neater and a little longer. She smiled despite herself, remembering Solas' explanation of the tiny marvels, " _playful_ ". But the joy was once again overshadowed. There was so much to learn, to comprehend, and the one person who could have told her didn't and when he did it was only on the understanding that she wouldn't live much longer. It was a bitter feeling but one that Kana would have Solas answer to. She intended to find him. But so did many others. Leliana had agreed with Kana's, or rather the Vir'Abelasan's, suggestion that pointed them to Tevinter. After Skyhold was taken care of, the spymaster intended to join Dorian there under the premise of helping to secure Magister Pavus and Tilani's new reformation movement. Kana was to travel there too but she had something she wanted to do first.

More wisps joined the ones already hovering around, filling the clearing like blue fireflies. It was beautiful. Kana leaned back, her right arm supporting her weight as she watched them. With the events and dreams of late, this was a nice reprieve, a little bit of peace.

"Ow!" flinching away from the sudden touch, Kana looked down at her left side where a few orbs floated. Their magic was sharp, quick and felt like lightening. She squished her nose, not liking their type of 'playful'. They continued to bob about, up and down, whisking above the grass. She tried to hide it but the wisps were soon curious about her missing arm, landing on her shoulder and hovering around the space the limb should be.

"It's gone…" Kana voiced, more bitterly than she anticipated, her eyes moving away from it. Then she felt a nudge. It wasn't a zap like before but more of a tap, a single fleeting feeling that connected to her brain…from her arm? She looked back down, curious, to find the wisps moving back and forth like the tide around the empty space. She was done with them now, resolved to find somewhere else to dream. Refusing to sink back into the self pity that had claimed her earlier in the week.

"That's enough" she said like a scolding mother, lifting herself up off the ground, with more than a little trouble. She was thankful for the strength of her remaining limbs for the morning exercises she'd now have to train in one-handed. The wisps refused to leave, hovering around and around her body in circles. She did not want to do this right now, didn't want to humor little thoughts of beings that probably would never evolve into any kind of spirit.

Then they shocked her again…but instead of calling out in pain, Kana called out in surprise, the noise echoing across the glen. The lightning seemed to travel, seemed to grow outwards into an outline of what could only be identified as her missing limb. Then the realization hit her like a punch in the face. She had been moping, mourning for the past week and hadn't even though to entertain any idea about somehow bringing her arm back. In her life she'd learned to accept some things as they were, things she couldn't ever hope to change like spilled ink on a page or a broken staff, but Kana knew that this limited her mind sometimes, as in this instance.

Kana looked at the wisps and the small beings, finding that she finally understood them, drifted up to buzz about her ears and newly cropped hair. She watched them go, little lantern lights.

"Thank you…" she mumbled, hoping they could understand gratitude, before focusing back on her missing arm.

She could do this…she was a mage, a Knight-Enchanter. If she could form a spectral blade, she could certainly form her own arm. Kana lifted her right arm and what remained of her left to hover one over the other. She started at her shoulder, letting the mana drain through her fingers, from her over all strength. She was in the Fade. Magic was unlimited here. It was slow work but where once there was nothing…now there was something. Kana moved her right hand down, marveling at the magic. What would she do without it? She thought to what Sols said about how he'd awoken to find the whole world nearly Tranquil. She couldn't imagine what that felt like and the empathy stirred her emotions further.

Kana reached her elbow and formed the joint, her crafting fingers trembling from the effort but still continuing further down. She was moving her new limb around before it was even finished. Finally, fingertips brushed against finger tips and Kana stopped her flow of magic. It was dark violet, ethereal and opaque, full of swirling magic that she could now manipulate. Possibilities flooded her thoughts. It brought tears to her eyes, relief, balm to a heartsickness she hadn't known was there. She held it out before her, moving, testing. Kana picked up a rock, felt its solidarity, its roughness, and threw it across the glen. She was whole again and it was perfect.

Suddenly, a voice called out, startling her.

" _Kana"_

The figure in question turned her head towards the direction she'd heard her name, senses come alive, knowing that this was too much of a coincidence. The glen was clear save for the few wisps that still skirted around her like bees. There were more far off in the distance but fleeing, as if being chased away.

" _Kana"_

She turned again, this time in the opposite direction. Her joy at the return of her arm was momentarily gone, instincts sharp and quick. Hearing voices, especially in the Fade, was never a good sign… _especially_ for a mage. The elvhen woman swallowed hard and concentrated, bringing her lyrium inlaid staff into existence with a mere thought, the way she'd formed her arm. Ever since the Exalted Council, since Solas had told her the truth, it was as if the world was open and nothing was barred to her. There was no more responsibility. She felt released.

But she was also chained, bound by something stronger than duty or obligation. It trailed from her chest to somewhere beyond her reach.

Kana didn't feel threatened by this presence and, between the staff and her arm, her focused energy was dwindling. Choosing to maintain her arm rather than her weapon, she let the stave dissipate, not wanting to wake up more tired than when she went to sleep.

The first voice had been far off, the second a little closer. She'd heard nothing else, no footprints, no demon growling, nothing to indicate a denizen of the Fade. Suddenly, a calm over came her and Kana relaxed. She fixed her stance, instead standing straight and tall. She closed her eyes and this time it was right behind her ear, a single voice willing itself into existence.

" _Kana"_

She dared not turn her head for she already knew that there was nothing there – nothing _physically_ there. Her dreams of late had been traumatic, barely below the surface, not fully in the Fade. It was only now that she was fully submerged that the Vir'Abelasan spoke to her. There was no doubt that it was them emitting her name but the development puzzled her. She'd never spoke to them in the Fade before. Something must have changed…

Something _had_ changed. The anchor was gone. Kana could think this the only answer, that the mark had someone kept them from her. She was afraid of what that might mean but was curious as to what she might learn. There were hundreds of souls inside her head, connected to her in such an intimate way.

"Yes?"

She called out verbally but did so again in her mind, searching the glen. They settled upon her slowly. She could hear them, feel them. They were almost alive again – in her.

 _"_ _Go_ _"_

It was a single voice that commanded her, female as far as Kana could tell. She stayed still, questioning their instructions.

" _What is your name? Who are you? How_ many _are you?"_

Kana looked around. The wisps were now completely gone and there was no visible sign of any other. She took a deep breath and asked one final question.

" _What do you know about Fen'Harel?"_

" _Go"_

The answer came louder, communally, and Kana knew that she wouldn't get anything else from them without doing what they asked of her. Kana took a step forward, then another. She walked out of the glen and into the forest, letting it take shape around her, letting it become her forest, a place from memory. If she was going to explore, it would be under her choice of scenery.

Kana felt unhinged, as if she was standing over the summit of a cliff waiting for a single push to send her over. The Vir'Abelasan had the answers, the knowledge she wanted. This was what Morrigan had desired, the truth that no one else knew. Kana hadn't trusted the arcane adviser much and was glad that this was passed onto her. This was her heritage and Kana intended to take advantage of it. But they were now silent, despite her inquiries.

Her thoughts inadvertently drifted back to Solas, no – Fen'Harel but...she couldn't think of him as Fen'Harel. To her he'd only ever been Solas. That's all she'd wanted him to be: himself. Kana loved him, his wit, his gentleness...and she missed him, even after two years. There had been no one else to run to with a sudden magical discovery or ancient elvhen tome. He had been the only one not afraid of the Fade or of magic in itself. He kept things open, inquisitive.

She tried to shake him out; to make him leave but every train of thought seemed to take her back to him. Stopping, Kana placed a hand to her forehead, where her Vallaslin used to be, green and tree-like., thinking on the tell-tale irony of what used to be there. She'd dedicated her existence, her face, her blood, to Mythal as a youth. The marks on her skin were gone but there was one more potent now, on her soul, and between everything that had happened to her, it was hard to distinguish between fate and chance anymore.

" _Walk; he is coming."_

Kana's breath caught in her throat and her eyes instantly scanned the tree line. Her hands, magical and non, began to shake, bunching in her clothing.

 _"Mythal was the Dread Wolf's greatest friend…and when she was killed he sundered the world."_

The statement resounded in her mind, her thoughts like a thunder storm. She was so stupid, why hadn't she seen it before. Kana wondered just how much the Well knew about their patron. By guidance of the Vir'Abelasan, she had met the witch Flemeth at the overgrown altar and Morrigan had claimed her as mother. Kana knew there was a complicated story there but they hadn't had time for complications. They needed Mythal's help…and she'd given them a dragon. Now Kana needed her help again. The Vir'Abelasan had been quiet all this time, weather willingly or not, and it made Kana wonder what else they might be keeping from their host. She may have partaken of the Well but that did not mean she was in command, in control of the collective intelligence that were continuous spectators to her experiences. She could feel their reactions to the current world, and every once in a while they ordained to explain their surprise about a custom, a country, a habit.

It was then that she heard it, a small rustle nearby. She remembered the Vir'Abelasan's commands…and their warning. She swallowed again and tried not to focus on the anything but her path, her forest. She reconstructed her childhood places with such ease, trying to drown her thoughts.

Kana tried not to cry out, tried not to scream when a flash of white caught in the corner of her eye like a ghost come to haunt her. It was maddening, to be so close yet unable to do anything. How many times had he visited her and how many times had they kept silent? She reached out in her mind for the ancient elvhen, begging them for advice, for Mythal's advice on how to reach him once more.

" _Just walk"_

They said and Kana took a deep breath and kept going despite how her heart was pulling her. In her mind she said his name over and over again, begging him to hear her like the Vir'Abelasan did.

 _Solas…Solas, Solas – Solas._

She knew it was him...the Dread Wolf...Fen'Harel. She knew it was her vehnan.

Kana, while elated by his presence, could only wonder what his intentions were. She wanted him to come closer, to trust her like she trusted him. Her eyes followed him from the corners taking in every little glance. She'd heard of shape-changers, Morrigan had been an impressive one, but Solas had hidden this talent from everyone, even her. He was taller than her and covered in snow white fur but his eyes were the same vivid blue. She knew it was him. Kana also knew that if she moved towards him, if she even hinted that she knew he was there, he'd disappeared, he'd abandon her again. So she kept walking, seemingly undeterred in her path.

As long as he was there, she wasn't alone anymore.

But it wasn't long before he left, having seen what he wanted. Kana wondered what that was exactly.

The forest was empty now, shifting from her memories into a wild and snarling beast. She fell to the ground and wept fully, more so than she'd ever been allowed to do as Inquisitor, hands real and non fisting into the dirt. She bit her tongue to keep from screaming for him.

Solas was gone but the voices weren't. She felt them at the back of her mind, ever there, ever constant, caressing her sorrow. Kana took comfort in that. _They_ would never leave her at least.


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I don't own Dragon Age**

...

Chapter 4:

Kana practiced in secret, in the dark of the night, to formulate her arm while awake. She didn't want to tell anyone yet, as if simply speaking of such possibilities would break its meaning like that of _silence_. The task was much more difficult than when she'd originally constructed the appendage in the Fade, having to draw the magic across the Veil, but over the time it took to finally reach Skyhold, she'd done it, mastered the ability…but only just. Kana knew that she would need some help to sustain the draw of magic, as each session left her covered in sweat and aching.

"Dagna…" Kana started, venturing her eyes from the freckled dwarf to the red headed spymaster. She'd called Bull and the ex-Commander down to the undercroft as well but under complete discretion. Kana wanted this to be kept a secret. Everyone in Thedas now knew about her missing arm, her lack of Vallaslin. These traits were distinguishable, easily recognized. A magical appendage would be an advantage and would probably upset a few of those who still considered such experimentation dangerous and unethical.

Kana exchanged glances with her friends before forming her arm. She'd been able to do it faster and faster, no longer needing to concentrate on small details that came to form themselves voluntarily. Dagna watched in amazement and so did the rest in the large room. When she was finished and began flexing her new found fingers in front of them, all mouths were slightly agape.

"Amazing…" Leliana muttered, reaching out and taking Kana's violet hand. She had even removed her elbow length glove. The Iron Bull pulled raucous laughter from his lungs.

"Now _that_ 's magic, Boss." He said, still laughing, his horns tilting this way and that. The Commander rubbed the back of his head and Kana could only guess that this new use of magic was making him a little uncomfortable…until he spoke.

"Why hasn't this been done before? Could it be possible for more than just mages?" Kana and Leliana both were a little surprised at Cullen's openness towards the idea but it posed the possibility. This advancement was defiantly something to explore and the ex-Inquisitor wished for Dorian's presence. If anyone had ventured into this, Tevinter would have surely. And Solas...he probably knew about this as well.

"Ah," Dagna murmured as Kana kept her mana flowing. It was instinct now, just like her arm was really there.

"It is difficult to keep it formed for long periods. Any ideas?" Kana asked and Dagna reached up and took the spectral hand from Leliana, studying it. Its owner even rolled up her sleeve so that the dwarf could see where the magic linked to Kana's body. It was darker there. Her arm wasn't jagged but clean cut, an even difference and where the magic met her skin there was an apparent line.

Dagna went to work right away, measuring the width of Kana's arm and taking down notes in much the same fashion as Josephine. Chairs had been brought down and she sat down in one closest to the arcanist's work table. It wasn't long before Kana couldn't hold the magic anymore. Her abilities were insurmountable compared to some mages but her injury still took its toll on her strength. Her legs had begun to shake and her stomach to roll. Kana caught Cullen staring as the limb dissipated but he seemed curious rather than wary which she was certainly surprised about. The man smiled at her and altered his gaze. With the revelation seen, Leliana was content to go back about her business, and Iron Bull had promised the Chargers a sparring session later that day while the weather was still good. Kana eventually came to stand against the rail, letting the chilling mist of the waterfall brush her face. Harrit, for once having no armor to mend, no weapons to make, sat quietly near the forge, fighting off the cold. Kana wondered if he'd found another job yet. Dagna had.

The only sound in the undercroft other than the enthusiastic dwarf's brainstorming and occasional murmuring was the ex-Commander sharpening his blade. Kana hadn't realized he'd stopped until he stood next to her, her head barely coming above his shoulders. He glanced at her sideways and she realized that he had something to say.

"What are you and Leliana planning?" She wasn't really expecting a question, more of a lecture on the dangers of new found magic. Cullen could be quite passionate about his ideals. Kana merely sighed, not wanting to tell him anything. He was leaving, retiring, just as everyone else was. She'd seen the responsibility slip off his shoulders day by day, leaving him lighter., as his stack of reports thinned and the Inquisition's army had diminished. Kana didn't want to pull her friend into anything else; especially when he was so close to the peace he'd been seeking. Leliana still read everyone's correspondence and had shared with Kana that Cullen's rehabilitation facility was already underway and many had already asked and or begged for admittance.

Kana looked over at the man who'd commanded her armies. She'd been wary of him at first, as he still kept the bearings of a Templar, but all that was past. She thanked whatever god or gods were left that hadn't been despoiled or debunked for all the friends she'd made. As a Dalish, her clan had been withdrawn from humans and even among them Kana had been solitary. It had been difficult and challenging to come to trust so many but nothing had ever been more rewarding.

"I can't tell you." She said bluntly, watching as his face turned somber. There was something else he wanted to say but Kana felt like she already knew what it was. She'd seen it happen over the past two years and maybe it had begun before then, when she just hadn't noticed. Solas had disappeared, leaving her in a pool of despair that she'd clawed her way out of and accepted. Kana had thrown herself into the Inquisition into every issue, every dispute. She took to every task given her with quiet acceptance but she knew that for the first few months everyone was worried about her, even the war council…especially the Commander. His eyes began to linger and his concern began to increase and there was no denying the fear on his face when Bull had carried her through the Winter Palace. It had been the Commander, she'd been informed, that sat with her most of the night. It was a cruel fate for both of them.

Cullen seemed to understand her reluctance and turned his head to stare through the falling water and out over the mountains, a small smile gracing his rugged face. He regretted many decisions in his life, many prejudices, but one of the worst was that he had fallen in love with someone he couldn't have. He'd disliked Lavellan at first because of the anchor, the mystery, the magic, but then he'd come to admire her…and then more but he knew that she would never have him. Kana was a mage, a _Dalish_ mage, her past with humans too colored to breach any preferences. As he would always be wary of those with magic she would always be wary of anyone without pointed ears. They believed in different things and so too were their lifestyles opposite. Her heart had never belonged to anyone except Solas and Cullen could understand why. Whatever bond they shared the ex-Commander felt it was more than due to their feelings. He'd seen them together, talking, fighting side by side.

"I would have loved you." He said quietly, like a Chantry verse, soft and revered.

The elvhen woman stared ahead at the setting sun, looking for something that wasn't there, something that he couldn't fill. And with that, Cullen let her go, let the possibility of her go. She had always belonged to someone else.

"I know." Kana replied just as he'd turned his back. Cullen paused a moment then kept on walking, eager to finish his packing.

Kana sat down against the railing after he had gone and pressed her forehead to the stone, a pain forming behind her eyes.

Solas didn't appear again in her dreams.

…

Kana stood in the Great Hall in front of her throne, the giant eye on the back of the chair glaring at her. She imagined that everyone was still sleeping, that everyone was in their beds during the pre-dawn hours, delightfully snoring. She tried to imagine, with a pack on her back, staff in hand, that she was just going on a trip, that three of her trusted companions would be waiting at the gate for their illustrious leader. Kana tried to imagine it…but it didn't stick.

She began to move then, having come down for the last time from her tower room, the bed neatly made, the last of her sensitive papers smoldering in the fireplace. She'd left most of everything, set to leave with about as much as she'd arrived with at the Conclave. There was no more need to carry around diplomatic attire or evening wear. Kana was going south, into the Wilds. What she had, she'd need to survive, with little room for anything marvelous.

Kana opened the first door, standing in the alcove before Josephine's old office. The elvhen woman didn't enter but instead went down the stairs to her left, seeming to glide across the large, bare, gallery room and through the kitchen, grabbing what was left of the larder. In the past six weeks, everything had been cleared out, everything was gone, even the people. Skyhold was now officially empty, left until the next time it was needed. Of course, Kana wouldn't allow the fortress fall to just anyone. There were strong wards set upon the buildings and even the pathways up to the keep. This was a defensible, desirable position within the Frostbacks. That was one of her fears; that the fortress would come under less than welcome occupation. The last thing Kana wanted to do was fight through her own keep.

Kana exited the kitchens and headed for the stables. Master Dennet had left the day before, taking with him most of her mounts back to his home in the Hinterlands, part of the deal he'd had with the Inquisition. She'd kept one hart, the Red one, majestic and loyal. Kana had never named any of the impressive beasts the Inquisition had commissioned to have available for her but she had named this one. His name was Revas, 'Freedom'. It seemed fitting at the time.

Kana saddled the animal, took his reins, and led him under the stone bridge that connected Cullen's bastion to the Rotunda. She had, against her better judgment, taken one last lingering moment in that room, staring at the delicately painted walls. It seemed as if that room housed her heart and she could feel it, a beating thing. Closing her eyes, Kana had taken her time before going to pack. It smelled of the color adorning its walls, of the books above and slightly of the birds above them. The scaffolding was gone, and the desk, still centered, was clear of most debris. The armchair, the couch, they were both still there, favorite places of Kana that had offered comfort even when the smell of their avid owner was no longer present. She wondered why Solas had picked it as his haunt. Kana wondered what his history with the fortress was. Then she had left, and packed, and was now at the gate, ready to mount Revas.

"Wait!" a voice called out from above. Leliana appeared on the steps and, without a hint of her usual grace, bolted to meet Kana. The mage halted for her friend, surprised that the red head was still here and a little shocked by such a loud outburst from the usually soft spoken woman who preferred careful words over the volume at which they were spoke. Kana was a little disappointed. She wanted to be the last within these once vibrant walls.

Leliana caught up to her and steadied herself, like fixing an eschew portrait. Kana was born and raised a Dalish. She hadn't become accustomed to interacting with shemlen until a long time after the Conclave, but it was still a surprise when the spymaster pulled her into a hug. Leliana had another agenda, however, one she whispered in her friend's pointed ear.

"There are still spies nearby, waiting, they flitter in and out. I think they intend to wait for us to leave before following. Be careful, you can lose them on the Deepening Road if you use the disguises you developed." Kana nodded, sad to go but glad to finally be able to use Dagna's latest invention permanently. The archanist was now somewhere in Orlais, traveling to commune with the newly formed College of Magi. Kana knew that Vivienne had tried her hardest to acquire their dwarven mastersmith but somehow the College won out.

Leliana did not let go and Kana realized it was because she was actually hugging her now. The elvhen woman hugged the human back, not knowing when they would see each other again or if time would allow them to stay on the same side. Lady Nightingale continued speaking.

"Please, be careful. I may not have known Solas as well as I would have liked, but I know you…and I trust you. Please…be careful. Don't do anything…rash" Kana nodded her head, hearing the warning, the threat within her words. Leliana was wary of her friend's coming decisions.

"I will be all right. Take care yourself and remember to keep in contact with Dorian. If I get in trouble, I will message him." Leliana nodded her head. She was to go north, to give her assistance to the newest Magister and his allies of reformists. Kana knew, or rather felt, that whatever was to happen next would happen in Tevinter.

Finally, the two women let go of each other and Leliana let out a great sigh. This was it, this was the end then. Kana would walk out of Skyhold for the last time...and she didn't know if she would ever come back.

"Goodbye" the mage said before mounting her hart and heading towards the snow crested horizon.


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: I don't own Dragon Age**

...

Chapter 5:

Traveling alone, across the great wooden expanse, was a single elvhen rider. Her brown hair was short, cut just below her jaw with many thread-like braids intricately woven within it, Dalish in style. Her Vallaslin was gone but her arm was recovered, the violet coloring and newly healed pink skin hidden under a pair of finger-less leather gloves and long lightly armored sleeves. Dagna's device, a band engraved with lyrium and rune enchantments, was fastened to Kana's upper left arm under her clothes, the metal continuously cold and thrumming with magic. Dagna had done well.

"This should allow you to channel the mana more easily. It will always work, even when you sleep, that is if you so choose to sleep with an enchanted arm." She'd laughed at that, her little giggles, before handing the object to its intended user. The armband was not the only thing new about Kana Lavellan. She was dressed head to toe in Keeper robes and she'd painted fake blood-writing on her skin, forgoing Mythal for June, the leaf-like blue paint coming down her face like sideburns, a single line going from her bottom lip to her collar. She'd put enough spells on her work so that it would properly stay, at least for a little while and on the condition that it didn't rain. For all intents and purposes, Kana looked to be a Keeper, or at least a very important Dalish mage traveling through the mountains, lyrium-inlaid staff tied to her hart's saddle.

The humans would ignore her while any elvhen she came across would give their respect and hopefully reveal any secret news of the race and their activities. Kana hadn't come across a single member of her people though and it was troubling. Everywhere she went, she was met with only shemlen stares. Some were still weary but others sneered in disgust. Word had gotten out about the Inquisition's corruption. Many blamed it on their elvhen Inquisitor. Kana knew that as whispers of a nameless fear spread, one bearing the symbol of a wolf, the distrust would only grow.

And so she kept going, west from the Frostbacks then south once more, towards the Arbor Wilds. Kana knew the Vir'Abelasan had advised her to go north as well but they didn't respond or complain when she'd asked about going in the opposite direction. She needed to go back, to study. There had been ruins other than the Temple of Mythal within those trees. Any knowledge she could glean from them would hopefully aid in her quest. She had to know her enemy, especially since she didn't think of him as an enemy. Those last weeks in Skyhold, Kana had done nothing but read, pouring over tomes and scrolls, books and reports even if she couldn't understand them all either because of time or language, taking particular study to the ones Solas had favored for any bit of knowledge or insight. She'd isolated herself within the tower, allowing those below to slip away unnoticed, uncounted for. The Well of Sorrows _had_ been somewhat helpful. If she was struggling with a particularly difficult passage they would sometimes translate for her or offer some understanding in a way that could only be described as ethereal, inborn. There was so much to learn and it only added to the bitterness and melancholy she felt inside.

Long hours into the night, after there was no other choice than to give into exhaustion, Kana still slept fitfully but her dreams were not of visions. They were of Solas. They were of things she could have done or perhaps should have done; the Wardens, the mages, the templars, Venatori. The People. She dreamed of the anchor and the painful magic that seemed to wrench at her soul and more than once Kana would wake up, shift damp with sweat. But there were other times that she dreamed of places she'd never been, of people she'd never met, flashes of a time she'd never lived in. And yet the Vir'Abelasan offered no explanation to their fragmented influences, no matter how many times she asked. No matter how many times she begged. Kana hoped to learn more from the Temple, hopefully to gain their confidence at last. She wanted to see the Temple once more with her own eyes, and with those of the Vir'Abelasan. Kana could feel their anticipation ebbing from where they lay in the back of her mind. They were anxious to go back, to see the place of their prison.

And so, with less urgency in her gait than she'd had in the last three years, Kana was able to fully take in the transition from mountain to plain then finally to the untamed obtrusive overgrowth of the Wilds. Where she'd once come with anticipation and fear, she now came with worry and respect, a respect so deep it kept her eyes jerking everywhere at once. Kana wondered how the forest looked thousands of years ago, were there more buildings, more settlements where the ruins were now? Her thoughts also turned to Solas and how painful it must have been to return to a place he remembered or at least knew about. How grating it must have been to live at Skyhold, how a man with so much to discuss had kept so many thoughts to himself. Kana remembered their numerous discussions on magic and the Fade. They'd spent hours debating and considering. Had he know the answers all along?

Kana found the Temple easily enough; the path that had once been cleared by the treading soles of her soldiers and enemies had been reclaimed and not so easily recognizable but she found the structure eventually, the sun high above her head through the treetops. There were no Sentinels, Templars, or mages to bar her way.

She halted Revas at the entrance, admiring the pouring waterfalls, her gaze glancing to the sides of the bridge where its last defense used to stand. The door before her was open, slightly cracked. She didn't know what to expect, what she wanted to happen here.

Kana dismounted, leaving her hart at the beginning of the bridge before going alone on foot. The devastation was still clear in the scorch marks, the scattered remains of bodies and weapons alike. Kana tried not ponder on the desolation this once sacred place had endured. Entering the first courtyard felt like coming home in a way, her breath escaped her lungs and in the back of her mind, Kana could feel the Vir'Abelasan stirring, recognizing its former dwelling. the vague ghosts of wandering forms flitted across her conscious, reflecting lives that had long since been gone. They said nothing but she could feel their anticipation. They wanted to view the temple clearly for the first time in millennia. They wanted to see it through her eyes.

Kana walked around the raised walkway in the middle of the yard and stood before the first of the Petitioner's Pathway. Everything was even more overgrown than before as if nature was finally reclaiming the Temple were the magic had kept it at bay. She placed her foot on the first tile but nothing happened. She sighed again and felt sadness in the core of her being, within the Vir'Abelasan too. The magic was truly gone then. There was no need to walk the path as she had before. Before turning away, however, Kana stepped forth and pulled vines from the stone in the center. The carved words were worn illegible but through the Vir'Abelasan, Kana's mind began to comprehend the words written there. The inscription discussed the Well, the Sentinels but towards the end, the letters began to blur and she couldn't make anything else out.

With a heavy heart and heavy feet, Kana turned and went up the stairs. She opened the door with barely a touch. But then something snagged at her, a feeling, a memory. As if by force, Kana sprinted to the left, her robes dancing around her legs on her way, wrapped feet brushing across the ancient stone floor. She went through the alcove then stopped. In front of her was the statue of a great wolf.

She remembered then, how Solas had pleaded the Dread Wolf's case, _his_ case, when Morrigan had questioned the statue's presence in the Temple. It made Kana wonder what this place actually was, what it had meant to Mythal, what it had meant to Fen'Harel, and what it had meant to Solas when he came back here with the Inquisition in force. Kana walked forward slowly, not taking her eyes from the pale eyes of the wolf, pressing her magical hand against its moss covered body. It was then and there that she made a promise. She would find Solas…and she would tell him the truth he'd wanted to tell her the night he'd set her free from more than she knew.

Kana would retell his sins back to him, willing Solas to know that she knew everything, knew everything and understood. She wanted him to know that he was forgiven, at least by her.

She let her hand drop from the statue and took a few steps backwards, unable to make herself turn away yet. She closed her eyes and imagined that Solas was with her, and Morrigan, Cassandra, Varric. They were racing to the inner Sanctum, to find the power within before Calpurnia could. She wanted to reach out and take his hand and never let go. He'd never given her that chance.

Birds suddenly upset the ceiling overhead, jerking Kana out of her vision. She finally turned around and walked away, unaware of the actual eyes on her back that followed as she entered the main chamber.

Kana came to stand at the base of the Well, trying to remember just how Abelas had formed his magical step ladder. She put a foot forward, then another, and suddenly something began to happen. Kana could feel the magic in the air and the stair case's bottom platform appeared before her. Looking around she saw nothing and no one but the ruined Temple.

" _Come"_

The Vir'Abelasan commanded within her head but the word puzzled Kana. They were not telling her to "go", they were telling her to "come". The elvhen woman pulled her glowing staff from her back before putting her right foot down on the platform. The next in the chain instantly formed upon the impact. Breathing out, Kana kept going, not looking down, putting her trust in what little magic the Temple had left. She looked back only once to see the stairs disappearing behind her.

" _Come_ "

The voices called again and Kana was willing to answer them. Whatever they needed of her, she would provide. They were the only ones who hadn't left, the only ones who, even though not by choice, would never disappear so long as she lived. And she thanked them for it.

Now at the top, Kana beheld the empty pool, the once clean and crisp tile was now covered with all manners of vegetation, creeping further into the heart of the Temple like a disease. But there was no malice here. The forest was simply taking back what belonged to it. Where once this was a place of Sorrow, of reverence, Kana felt peace now, like an old recollection lost in time.

Behind the pool lay the Eluvian and its appearance made Kana's breath catch. It was shattered, broken, and something that had never occurred to Kana before, came to thought. She'd been able to open Mythal's last Eluvian without a second thought…and it had instantly led to Morrigan's mirror at Skyhold. They hadn't needed to cross through the Crossroads. It had been a direct path. Kana wondered if it was a simple anomaly, power given to her by the Well, or another coincidence that Mythal herself had put into place, allowing Morrigan to find the exact Eluvian that would someday save them all. Also, who had shattered it? Corypheus was the most likely candidate, having been so enraged that it would no longer work for him. Just one more thing lost to anger and ignorance. It left a bitter taste in Kana's mouth.

She approached the cracked mirror, now lying on its side, surveying its remains. Glass crunched under her feet and she was careful not to cut herself. Kana looked down at the still reflective material. She bent forward and selected a shard, wanting to take it with her as a reminder. But in that moment, something startled her in the brush and her fingers slipped. The glass sliced her palm, shattering into smaller pieces as it fell to the ground, followed by the sudden flow of blood.

Kana hissed at the pain but another influx of nature pushed her forward, a great gust of wind that tugged her hair and robes.

" _Fix it…fix it…fix the mirror, repair the Eluvian, fix it, fix it now!"_

Kana felt the pull on her magic. It was hungry, just like the Vir'Abelasan had felt before she drank from it. The mage began to pant, fighting the blood in her veins that flowed from her hand. She lifted her left hand to her head, placing it against her ear, against the voices. They kept repeating the order over and over again without fail. They wanted her to fix the mirror, repair the Eluvian. Varric had told stories of a friend of his who'd found an Eluvian and repaired it through…

"Blood magic" Kana whispered as if speaking such things would instantly call down the world's wrath. Her brow instantly furrowed and she stared down at her injured palm. They had told her to go to Tevinter. Now they wanted her to fix the Eluvian.

"You want me to use blood magic?" The voices instantly stilled, their approval immediate. Kana took a step back, away from the mirror. This was the wrong thing to do. Suddenly, invisible fingers gripped her shoulders and shoved her forward, onto the shards of glass. The fragments met skin through her clothes. Only her magical hand was unaffected. Panting, Kana looked up at the mirror. Even on its side, it was taller than she was kneeling and one jagged piece still in place reflected her own face back at her. What a stranger she was, covered with the markings of June, her hair braided wildly, Keeper robes. It was a reflection of what her life could have been...but this was not who she was now, not who she wanted to be.

But her reflection was not the only thing she could see. Seemingly standing behind her were a pair of legs, glowing blue in their form, much like her violet hand. Kana went to turn her head to look but a hand came forward and kept her face in place.

" _Fix it"_

The Vir'Abelasan whispered, the figure bending down so Kana could see her, as the figure was female, face. Empty blue eyes stared back but upon seeing them, Kana wasn't afraid anymore. She swallowed hard and nodded her head.

" _Magic is magic,"_

Solas had told her. She was not summoning demons; she was at her own peril.

The figure stood and took a step back, seeming to disappear into the background of the Eluvian. Kana sat on her legs and turned her head. There was no one there at all. Carefully, the she began to pick the shards out of her injuries. She found two that fit, the edges soaked in her blood. Kana had never used blood magic before…but this was important. This was what the voices wanted. She concentrated…and the pieces were healed, coming together and absorbing the blood between them. The influx of power was enthralling, like being drunk, but it didn't bother her anymore…not like it might have long ago.

Kana took a deep breath. This was going to take a long time.


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: I don't own Dragon Age.**

 **...**

Chapter 6:

Cole watched from the shadows. He may now be more of a spirit, his memory less that focused, but he still remembered the elvhen girl with the laughing smile, soft and hard at the same time, hurting from pains long past and gone; a missing family, a missing love. Now there was more missing… more than her arm.

He didn't know how long it had been since he'd abandoned the waking world for the Fade but something had drawn his attention away from it once more, a familiar cry of pain. It was loud and it was terrifying, laced with thousands of voices talking all at the same time. They had led her here, back to the beginning. Cole followed slowly as Kana made her way through the Temple gate, having paused at the beginning of the bridge. He touched the hart caringly on the cheek before walking on after her.

She wasn't the only one nervous and excited about being back in the ancient place of Sorrows. Compassion had followed her from Skyhold, had seen her paint her face, seen the magic of her arm. It was a wonder but it wasn't all her, like the tension in a rope is connected on both ends, burning. Cole felt her sadness inhabit the Temple, so fitting. He wanted to stop her from going forward, to ease her pain but he knew it would be good for her, for them both, for all of them inside her. Maybe if they saw they Temple, saw the destruction, it would clear their thoughts, settle them down. They were so loud and agitated.

Cole hadn't felt them so close to the surface before and he wondered if maybe it had to do with the anchor, if his magic had somehow kept back their magic.

 _His_?

This word was weird.

 _His? Who…what…?_

Cole's head was clear; there was no name, no face to take on the thought. It made him shiver, as well as his human body would allow given he was just a spirit. Cole had not been present during the initial invasion of the Arbor Wilds. If he'd been there, maybe he could have stopped her, he and…there it was again, this absence. _S…So…_

No, he had to watch Kana, something was not right. He had to watch her because of the voices, because _he_ …

Cole thought about it no more, silently slipping through the overgrown Temple but he'd lost sight of Kana. Turning this way and that the spirit found her on the balcony above, staring intently at something. It was easy to be invisible but he'd yet to try the power on someone who could, or used to be able to, see him. He appeared behind her yet she didn't move. There was nothing save her attention. But the voices were there too, twisting, fixing, churning, charming. What were they doing?

Cole looked past Kana and saw what she was staring at. His own thoughts became muddled, eyebrows squished over his eyes under his floppy hat. It was a statue…a statue of a wolf.

 _Wolf…wolves…howling in the dark, long ago…so alone…So…_

"Fen'Harel" Kana murmured. It was a name, a name that Cole had forgotten but why…he couldn't place it he couldn't…remember. The boy could feel the heaviness in Kana's heart, the pain there. He wanted to fix it, he couldn't stand it anymore. He reached out with a hand but…

Cole froze, unable to move. His body was paralyzed, however momentarily. And the voices. They knew he was there and they didn't like it.

He watched Kana sigh and walk away, out of his sight. It was a few more seconds before he could drop his hand, move his legs. Something was wrong, something was really wrong now. He looked back at the wolf statue once more but left that mystery behind…he had more pressing matters.

Inside the large chamber, Cole could see across the entire room. Kana was walking up a set of magical stairs. He hurried down the stone ones on his right and quickly went after her. He knew what this place was. It was old and it was hurt…and it was beckoning her return, lying to her, claiming her from herself.

Compassion reached the bottom, where the stairs should have been but nothing happen. He reached out, pleading with the Fade to build the steps for him as well but it was as if it was blocked, refusing to aid him.

The voices were getting louder, _"fix it"_ they cried and Cole felt a stirring.

"No," he screamed out, "No, no, no, no, no good, not done at all, monsters and pride coming closer in the dark. Pride is…"

 _Pride_ …it was another word, another description. A person…but he couldn't remember!

Cole retreated to the top of the original staircase, so he could at least see what was going on. Beyond the empty pool sat Kana. She was hurt, not healing, bleeding. The voices were so loud. And then they were there, blue and magic, like wisps, ghosts, memories but more.

"Stop!" He yelled out but Kana couldn't hear him over the ones in her head. Cole needed help, he needed to do something, anything! He washed the words through his head again, so important and yet forgotten, WHY!?

"Wolves, wanting, waiting, watching, time, time to…to…" He tried again, a different train.

"Friends…The Iron Bull, Kana, Cassandra, Varric, calls me "Kid", who was the opposite? The path I choose, the one who helped…" The spirit wracked its senses, angry and frustrated, sour feelings for Compassion. He turned his head once again towards Kana and stopped. They were there now, around, next to her. She could see them through the glass but not fully there yet. They wanted her to…

"Blood that belongs to her but there is something else, someone else for her, aching, old, accepted, loved, "why does he hold his…pride"."

 _Pride, wolves, Fen'Harel, Kana, the Fade, the Veil…_

"Solas"

Cole whispered the name once more, memories coming back to his mind, memories that he made him forget. Cole was angry now, felt the rage boil inside him at Solas' lack of compassion. He made her hurt, he was going to hurt others. Cole needed to tell him, to stop him. Kana…she would make him see, take off the blinders with love and…

The spirit calmed himself. He would not become a demon, not for this…but it was pulling and he realized it was Kana who was pulling. Blood.

He needed to find Solas. Cole needed to hurry.

…

 _Kana Lavellan trailed behind the Seeker, wary of anything and everything like a newborn halla still wobbly on its legs, especially the woman in front of her who looked more like an angry bear than a human. Cassandra; that was her name. She'd been ready to beat the nonexistent truth out of Kana in the Chantry's dungeon and the mage didn't doubt that if the day didn't heed results, she'd probably resort back to that sort of violence. Or she might simply on principle. No one showed signs of knowing that Kana possessed magic and the woman herself said nothing. It would be more damning evidence to her supposed crime. Eyes, angry and malicious followed after then on the walk through the village. They wanted her to pay, wanted someone to pay. Kana couldn't blame them for that but just hoped that she wouldn't be the one forced to do the paying. Her ears, her tattooed face, all of it proved her guilt, at least to them. Kana stayed quiet. She could understand their anger, their sorrow. She too had lost things._

 _"Where are you taking me?"_

 _Kana asked but the Seeker said nothing, as she stuck the knife back into her belt. Down the road they went, passing those that were fleeing from the green calamity in the sky, unmasked fear clearly seen on their faces. Her hand began to twitch and with a sudden blast of magic, Kana fell to her knees._

 _"The pulses are coming faster now."_

 _Cassandra picked Kana up and patted her on the shoulder. The mage could tell how course the shemlen woman was and how she meant every threat that fell from her mouth but there was a kindness there that she didn't expect. Kana mustered up the courage to ask another question._

 _"How did I survive the blast?"_

 _She finally voiced, wondering if the Seeker had more answers than she did presently. All Kana remembered was arriving at the Conclave. There had been stares, surprised at the arrival of a Dalish, even one identified as a mage. Spying was not why her Keeper had sent her. She was there to be another party, to represent the Clans whether the others wanted her there or not. Walking…she remembered wondering around the temple and then…_

" _They say you stepped out of a rift, then fell unconscious. They say there was a woman in the rift behind you. No one knows who she was."_

 _Cassandra kept her sentences short, in huffed breaths. Kana understood that the occurrence was hard to talk about, still too fresh._

 _The woman was about to continue when the bridge before them exploded with green magic. Both Kana and Cassandra fell, trying to roll away from the crumbling stone behind them._

 _Kana saw the newest danger before the Seeker: a demon, emitted by a secondary blast from the Breach. Cassandra leapt to her feet, drawing her sword and shield._

" _Stay behind me!"_

…

" _We're getting close to the rift. You can hear the fighting."_

" _Who's fighting?"_

…

 _Kana dropped down, careful to land on bent knees and surveyed the area. It looked to have once been a building but the roof was gone, leaving nothing but stone ghosts to claw upwards. There were soldiers but there were also people who couldn't have been just soldiers. Kana stood to the back, pulling free her staff from its harness and letting her magic flow in torrents from the end. Her powers were limited to fire and lightening, having been Clan Lavellan's First only in name, the Second having come into her magic mere months after Kana's arrival. The First imagined that Deshanna was just waiting for the moment when Kana would decide to leave. The Keeper could tell that she didn't want to spend the rest of her life wandering forests._

" _Da'len,"_

 _Deshanna scolded the fifteen year old before her._

 _"Why do you always wander? You must stay with the People." Kana begrudgingly nodded but looked back over her shoulder at the ruins behind them, wild eyed, wishing to explore more, wishing for something she couldn't place._

 _Kana knew that the Conclave had been an excuse. Deshanna could have sent anyone. One of the hunters would have been better at sneaking about. Even the Keeper's Second would have been preferable, having been born with an affinity for spirit magic and healing. She would have been less threatening than a girl with fire in her eyes and electricity at her fingertips._

 _As she fought, the stench of demon flesh filling the air, Kana chuckled. She'd gotten her adventure. She'd gotten more than she wanted. Curse the Dread Wolf._

 _Her thoughts turned back to the fight. Enemies were coming upon her quicker than she could cut them down, having somehow ended up in the middle of the scuffle. She was not accustomed to such open conflict, not with demons. Kana had defended her clan from bandits and other shemlen but the horrors before her were worse. In her dreams, demons were easily avoided but once brought through the Veil their existence demanded an address. Appearance, screeching, even the smell of them, of decay and blood, twisted her stomach. Kana could not simply wake up this time. She shoved the end of her staff through a sloth demon, thrashing it to the ground before pulling out the shaft but a sound from her back made her spin. There was one more. Kana lifted her only defense, the long wooden weapon, in front of her face but before those giant claws could reach her, it froze, literally. Frost coated its body and then it shattered. There was another mage here._

 _She didn't have time look for one because suddenly, she was being pulled forward, towards the rift, by her cursed left hand. Kana looked from the small tear in the Veil to the one who held her hand but he was focused on her palm, eye brows crunched over blue eyes._

" _Quickly, before more come through!"_

 _The elvhen man lifted her hand into the air, still grasping her wrist. She nearly cried out in shock as some connection festered under her skin and green light shot from her palm to the open wound in the Veil. But her eyes drifted from the magic before her, to the man's face. He was not Dalish but had clearly never been part of any circle and she recognized something within him, a focus, a desire, as if the man were pouring his_ own _soul through the magic in her hand, willing the rift to close. Kana's palm burned with green magic, her nerves turned to fire and then, with a thundering crack, the rift was closed._

…

 _Solas. That was the elvhen man's name. He was a mage like her, but he didn't come from a city. He didn't come from a Clan. He was like her…different among the vast span of elvhen in Thedas. He was a wanderer, like her mind had always been, even before the attack, even before her magic. Clan Lavellan had taken her in as a child but she never really belonged there. She'd only been made First because Deshanna wanted to keep an eye on her and because there hadn't been another mage in the clan. Kana also knew that through the years the Keeper was much tempted to simply pack her off. Did they even expect her to come back?_

 _Kana shivered under her new armor, snug and comfortably supple against her lithe frame. She was sitting on one of the many wooden roofs in Haven and snow had quickly come to cover her shoulders. No one ever looked up, even the members of her clan and the great forest trees had quickly become her favorite hiding places, ones where she could watch the entire camp from above, without disturbance._

 _'The Herald of Andraste', they called her. It was a joke, a Dalish elf the harbinger of some shem religion. Kana didn't know what was real anymore but did know that none of this shit should have happened._

 _Her eyes wandered across the small town and fell on one form in particular, standing outside a similar structure, arms crossed over his surprisingly broad chest. He looked up, towards the temple, at the glowing swirl of madness that colored the sky and the reflected off the snow. She had questions for him, but more than she'd ever ask. Jumping off the roof and landing with a puff, she made her way to Solas._

 _Why had his parents named him Pride?_


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: I don't own Dragon Age.**

...

Chapter: 7

Kana sat up abruptly, mind jerked away so forcefully that her eyes swam from the sudden light and her head throbbed with the sudden movement. She twisted her back, grateful for the little pops that occurred in her spine. She was sore from sleeping on stone, the upper terrace of the Well not having any else to rest her body on. She pinched the bridge of her nose, willing her thoughts to cease. All that was so long ago, why was she still dreaming of it?

Now that she was awake, she might as well keep working. The Eluvian was almost completely healed and she could feel the eagerness of the voices in her head. Whatever was on the other side seemed to be worth their effort and attention. Maybe it led to Tevinter? Maybe that's where Morrigan was. Was Flemeth trying to check up on her daughter again? Either way, this might answer her earlier question about connecting Eluvians.

Revas snorted nearby, clearly disturbed by her awakening, the hart having finally joined its master within the Temple on the second day. Kana was glad. She hadn't left to find him or the provisions that were in his saddle bags. It was now, on the third day, that Kana began to feel her task impossible. Some of the shards were so broken, so tiny that there was nothing left of them, giving the Eluvian a patch-work appearance. She tried to handle the shards with her left to save her right but she was not ambidextrous and found it hard to place the small fragments exactly how she wanted them.

Kana had, however, finished the very top of the mirror and it now stood upright once more. Revas had helped with that endeavor. But there were still pieces missing…and Kana was wearing out. Her body was weak, the blood magic taking its toll.

Blood magic…why in Thedas was she using blood magic? She could hear more than one of her previous companions berating her over such careless acts. Dorian would either be livid or laugh at her expense. Vivienne would disown anything to do with her as would Cassandra. Why was she doing this?

" _To fix the Eluvian. It's the only way. You have to find him."_

Her thoughts spun and the elvhen woman squeezed her toes together, legs crossed under her. "The only way", "you have to", Kana hated these words. She…she didn't have to do anything anymore. There was no responsibility on her shoulders. She didn't have anyone to worry about other than herself...but she was needed in Tevinter, which was where she _should_ be. Standing with new found strength, Kana grabbed Revas' reins, the hart having come to stand over her. But before she could, a hand gripped her shoulder. She knew it was the same figure as before. She knew it without looking…and she let her forehead rest against the spry leather until the hand was gone.

She was wrong. She did have a responsibility. She…needed to find Solas, to change his mind, make him consider other possibilities. Kana was the only one who could fix things. The elvhen carried the Vir'Abelasan inside her. It was her duty to try and share their knowledge, to act with their intentions and guidance in mind. With the disappearance of elves across Thedas, Kana knew they were all heading to the same place or at least the same cause. She imagined ruins filled with her People, all discovering freedom again for the first time. Her thoughts went back to Solas. She imagined him there, teaching, leading, not unlike she'd done as Inquisitor.

Kana let go of the saddle and walked back to the Eluvian. Everything seemed connected, as if it had all come full circle. She would do this, she would follow the Vir'Abelasan's directions, do what she could once more. She could help her people in a way that no one else ever had. Solas wanted to go the way of pain, of destruction. Kana would build them up independently, until no one and nothing could ever bring them low again. Then one day, she'd be free again. Free to travel, free to live without anything hanging over her. Hopefully Solas would be too, hopefully, he would choose to go with her.

She stared at her reflection and saw it change, alter, the entire frame turning a hazy blue before they appeared behind her, the same woman, but there was more, so many more! Men and woman and children and all at once they began speaking. It was hard to hear but Kana finally realized that they were names.

" _Anaya, Issachar, Cyran, Mahri, Kenna, Thonal…"_

More and more and more and she understood. They were sentinels, those who'd dedicated their lives to Mythal. Her death was what sparked the war because she had been the mediator, the only one to keep peace, the mother. Kana didn't know what Flemeth was exactly but the Vir'Abelasan knew. Mythal was also vengeance and judgment. Flemeth had empowered these attributes and smothered anything else…at least by the time Kana had met her. She was Morrigan's mother however so there had to be something nurturing still there.

And suddenly the figures behind her were mist, floating around the area like smoke…but with purpose…and Kana could see them, not just their reflections in the mirror. It was slow at first, like seeing the first snow fall but eventually, the little gaps, the little imperfections disappeared. Wherever or however small the fragments had been, the Vir'Abelasan was repairing its own. Soon, Kana stood before the mirror in all its perfected glory. Magic began to radiate but it needed more. It felt hungry but Kana wasn't scared. She pulled a dagger from her belt and pulled off the glove covering her right hand…and carefully ran it across the skin.

They were getting louder, all in illegible ancient elvhen. Kana could understand their impatience. They had waited for so long, trapped in this Temple. After three days, their curiosity was now replaced with animosity. It made her wonder why they'd given themselves to Mythal, to the Well. Maybe they, like Kana, hadn't known exactly what they were getting into.

She pressed her hand to the glass…and the magic returned.

…

Solas sat at his desk, much as he had the past few weeks. It never ended, the amount of work thrust upon the wooden slab, and he thought back to his days in the Inquisition, how he was now doing the work of all three advisers. He was leaning more towards Leliana's job but with the among of People come to him, it was hard to balance everything. And now there was worst news. The Inquisi…Kana had disappeared.

He'd underestimated her again…her and Lady Nightingale. He'd wanted to intercept Leliana, to try and have his agents gleam any information that they could out of her without her knowledge, using simply travelers on the road, but she was as skillful as ever, appearing at Magister Pavus' side in a matter of weeks without so much as a breath of her location. But Solas didn't much care about her at the moment. He was worried about Kana. What was she thinking? Going off on her own without any protection other than her own skills with a staff. Granted, those skills had grown considerably since their first meeting but it boiled his blood. There were still enemies in the night, people who would take revenge for petty grievances or for larger losses. There was a sickening feeling in the back of his mind. Mythal talked to him sometimes, when he truly needed advice or when she just wanted to pester him. She was silent now, as if she knew something he didn't. He only had access to most of her power, not so much her abilities as they were still separate entities, albeit in the same body. He couldn't track Kana through the Vir'Abelasan and Mythal wouldn't tell him what she was doing or where she was. It was maddening, especially when the answers were in his mind, or rather, Mythal's.

"What are you planning, Old Friend?" he murmured to the empty room before getting up and walking to the balcony, the same balcony that he'd lost his resolve on. He pondered the memory in equal parts sadness and fondness. There he had been, asking in no small terms if she'd ever been anyone other than who she was and she'd baited him so skillfully.

" _Do you think I'd have noticed if it did?"_

He'd felt so foolish in that moment but would never let her know that she, this _Dalish_ girl, had changed more than his initial plans. She'd changed his perspective. It was usually something destructive, some harbinger of pain that did such things, like Mythal's death. But she did it with kindness and consideration, the more positive and cathartic of the two.

Solas leaned over the balcony and stared off into the distance. He'd waited for the fortress of his youth to be completely cleared, when not even the most insignificant of humans remained. The last of the Inquisition had set wards against any who would enter but they'd been brought down easily. Kana probably didn't expect him to come back to Skyhold. He'd hardly expected everyone to _leave_ but they did and he couldn't resist the opportunity to reclaim his home. Now he was back in his room, sleeping in his bed. He looked behind him through the open door. It wasn't his truly, not anymore. It belonged to her as well. The first night he'd slept in what was previously her bed, he hadn't been able to go to sleep. Those below him had changed the furniture of the entire castle, recreating designs from the time of Arlathan and burning all the shem furniture in a fit of venomous pique. The only room he hadn't let them touch was his…her's. The sheets, although stiff from the cold, absent nights…still smelled like her.

Solas almost regretted coming back here but it was too late to change his mind. The elves below him thought it the most prideful thing, that they'd taken Skyhold, the previous seat of the Inquisition, with nothing more than a few well placed mirrors. These halls were full of memories. He thought back to their first kiss, how she'd asked him questions with such a curiosity that he couldn't help but want to show her the extent of the Fade. He'd taken Kana up the familiar flight of stairs to the tower, glancing around to admire the few changes to his previous residence that a woman had made. Then he'd cast his spell and caught her limp form in his arms. Over the weeks he'd seen her form fill out, from usual Dalish build to one fuller, indicating how a simple change in diet could effect a person. She was no longer a skinny apostate but a continuously growing mage. It was simple, easy, and she would not remember getting to her bed from the Rotunda. He'd looked around again, memorizing all the familiar before retreating back to the round room he'd distinguished for himself. The original murals were gone but he'd started replacing them with another story, her story.

And then he'd slept, meeting her in a carefully crafted Haven. The trickster in him was glad to see that she didn't know it was a dream but he was still surprised at the ease of his subterfuge. Haven was buried under tons of snow. How could she not remember? She probably didn't want to and he couldn't blame her. He almost didn't want to remember it himself, the nail biting trepidation that haunted his thoughts while Kana had barely made her fateful trek through the snow.

" _I sat beside you as you slept, studying the anchor."_

" _How long could it take to look at a mark on my hand?"_

Her questions always seemed to shame him in one way or another, always digging deeper for whatever information was still there, like finding gemstone underneath bare rock. He didn't expect much from the people now living in Thedas, less so from any of the 'true' elvhen but she always surprised him. He watched her reactions, the slight curve of her mouth, the way her eyes wandered around wherever they went, never settling on one thing in particular. Until those blue eyes came to him.

They'd stood outside the false Chantry and she'd mocked his plan to find somewhere far away and try to fix the Breach himself. Her eyes, they were always searching, searching for what he didn't know but he wanted to. He risked it, a slight pairing of words that she matched with skill. Kana was so beautiful but Solas' eyes always wandered upward from her own, to the Vallaslin that marred her face. And then he said it again, before she could say anything else.

" _You change…everything."_

He gripped the railing at the memory, eyes squeezing tight, wishing that he'd stopped there but always wishing that he'd kept on, that he'd allowed Kana further in before it was too late because now she knew. She knew everything that he'd hidden from her, everything that had kept them apart. And still…

" _Sweet talker"_

It was playful, but he hadn't dared look at her for fear, for uncertainty. It was she who acted, cool fingers brushing his jaw as her mouth met his, unbending and passionate, much like everything else about her.

He hadn't known it then, how deeply he would love her…or maybe he had and he just didn't care.

She pulled away but he couldn't let her go yet, this warmth, experience that he hadn't felt in millennia, such feelings foreign and intersting, worthy of exploration, at least for the moment. His arms went out, then around, and his mouth was back on her's, wanting, pleading for something he couldn't tell her about. He'd been alone so long in his life, in his world, in his dreams. But she was like him, orphaned, cast from the clan that rescued her. He'd seen the letter. They were dead now as well. She was alone, like he was. But he didn't regret it. He didn't regret the fact that his plan had failed. Yes, it would have saved the lives Corypheus and his Venatori had slain but who's to say those people wouldn't have died anyway, at the coming of his new age? And so he had kissed her, held her body to him, a million wants, needs, possibilities flickering through his mind…until his senses came back.

" _We shouldn't…it isn't right…not even here."_

" _What do you mean "even here"?"_

Her face was troubled, lips red from their activity. Solas' own face had turned warm despite the false cold around them. He'd smiled, ready to reveal his trickery.

" _Where do you think we were?"_

She'd looked around, blue eyes darting from point to point before falling back to him. It seemed they always did that, as if he was an anchor, different in meaning from the mark on her hand.

" _This isn't real."_

It wasn't a question but a statement and Solas couldn't help but feel the truth in her words. She wasn't real, this world, separated in halves by the Veil wasn't real. He couldn't stop his quest for her. But…

" _That's a matter for debate probably best discussed after you…_ wake up."

But it seemed to him that he never did wake up, that his days with the Inquisition were another dream his mind constructed to fill what he couldn't have. Days of reading quietly by the fireside, trailing fingers and the touching of shoulders, of fighting, spinning magical attacks from two different sources to create one devastating blow, spun from his own longing. But they weren't. It was real…it was all real. And it all came crashing down. He'd lost his nerve in the glen, instead revealing the truth about the Vallaslin. He remembered her words before the Eluvian, before he'd thought to lose her forever.

" _Did you really think I wouldn't have understood? I loved you!"_

The door suddenly opened behind him, down the stairs. He didn't want to be disturbed but Fen'Harel knew this would be important. He shoved away his memories and faced the scout before him.

"Fen'Harel…"

Only his friends had ever called him Solas…only she ever had. His face was downcast, a wall of ice and iron, much like Vivienne's had been. He was a leader, a ruler. He couldn't let anything deter his path.

"We found her…"

Except, perhaps, that.


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: I don't own Dragon Age.**

 **...**

Chapter 8:

Kana opened her eyes a slit and it was too much, the light overwhelming, seeming to burn her vision...and it wasn't even day light, but illumination cast from a fire. After being in the dark for so long, the light was a blinding sight.

"Well, well. Look who finally escaped the Fade. I was beginning to wonder, Inquisitor, whether or not you'd decided to spend an eternity chasing spirits and slaying demons."

Kana knew that voice. Morrigan's particular brand of snerk was very distinctive and Kana had had enough conversations with the witch, pleasant or otherwise, for her to recognize it. The elf opened her eyes again and found Morrigan hovering above in her usual flimsy attire, air of superiority ever present in her yellow eyes, in the shape of her down turned mouth. Kana looked away. Even the Dalish didn't dress so scarcely.

"Morrigan…"

Kana began but her head spun once more, turbulent and tempestuous, and she let the weight fall back onto the bed with a pained cry.

"You need rest, Herald. Whatever strength it took to travel the Crossroads alone took its toll. You've been sleeping for a full day."

Kana didn't even remember going through the Eluvian. She'd saddled Revas, climbed on and…

"I must say that hart of yours is a very…voracious animal. He's nearly eaten any stock I had, once I'd found a way to navigate his massive head through my doorway." That imagine was actually hysterical to think about and a small smile, laced with agony, graced Kana's face. But if this small house had an area large enough for an Eluvian, it could surely fit Revas.

Morrigan pressed a cloth to Lavellan's head, over her eyes, and Kana herself laid a hand upon that. A hand…

"I must also say that I am impressed with your new appendage. It must mean the danger is truly over…or just begun if the anchor has been removed."

Kana pushed the rag up from her eyes and looked down to see her outer armor vacant, revealing her violet arm. She still wore her undershirt and leggings and her staff rested in a corner and so did her saddle bags. She looked to the witch and hoped that she hadn't gone through them. Before leaving Skyhold something had happened. And Kana had brought it with her. If Morrigan had found it, she would surely mention it or not. After what happened in the Temple, there had been terse times between Kana and Morigan. After meeting Mythal however, things had smoothed out. It seemed that the woman was indeed gratefu now that she knew the true cost of the Well. At least she thought she did. Having a symphony of sound, voices, opinions in one's head was begin to grade. Kana almost wished for the anchor's return, or some other powerful magic just o she could have her thoughts to hereof again. The elvhen woman lay her head back down.

"It was killing me. Had to do it."

Kana said in simplistic words, dropping them like stones, and pressing the cloth back down. She listened to Morrigan's footsteps as the witch meandered with purpose about her home. They eventually quieted. She assumed that the woman had found a chair.

"Now that must be a tale, one to rival any other, Inquisitor. Would it be impertinent of me to inquire as to how it happened?"

Kana stopped, a realization upon her. She didn't know. Morrigan didn't know about the Exalted Council…or the Inquisition…or Solas.

The elvhen woman sat up, against the better wishes of her hurting head. Thankfully, the Vir'Abelasan was quiet. Any restraint on their part was welcoming right now. Kana wondered what they thought about the daughter of the beloved goddess. She cleared her throat, the cloth now bunched in her right hand.

"You…you really don't know?"

She asked and Morrigan's face pinched. The witch did not like being left in the dark and she crossed her legs, taking a sip from her mug before speaking.

"Well, if you'd be so kind as to shed some light on my ignorance. I have been alone for quite some time, coming and going, hiding from those who seek. You wouldn't happen to know why the elves of Thedas have suddenly decided to band together as if the coming of the next Empire?"

"Where are we?"

Kana asked, looking around at the cabin. It was a single room accompanied by a fire place and three windows. It was night. The only furniture was Morrigan's chair, a dresser, a chest, a side table and the bed that Kana was sat on. It was humble but more than any Dalish elf had ever possessed. The Eluvian sat silent next to the fire right across from Kana, its glass like surface cast the light outward. A giant hole in the rafters had been made to allow its full height and Kana thought Morrigan lucky to not have had the whole structure come down.

"Somewhere on the borders of the Arlathan Forest, I didn't really ask specifics of the Antivans who were so adamant about abandoning this dwelling."

Kana peered out the window on the far wall. Morrigan was not lying about that. She had never been farther north than the Free Marches, now she was almost to the Boeric Sea, to Seheron, Par Vollen. Tevinter was just to the west. The Vir'Abelasan might have had a point in restoring the mirror. Kana might arrive in Minrathous even before Leliana. The Arlathan Forest had been the seat of the Elvehnan Empire but no one had ever found its ruins. Why had _Morrigan_ come here?

"I'll trade information for information. Why are _you_ here?"

Kana asked, knowing that the witch always knew more than she was letting on. There was no bite to her words but concern when next she spoke.

"This forest…is stirring. Something is happening within. And it has to do with the elves. I find it perfectly convenient that you, being an elf, are here now, especially since you came through _my_ Eluvian, when it has been closed for years ever since they came looking for it."

"They?"

Kana asked, tired of Morrigan's ambiguous descriptions. She needed to leave, to set out again, perhaps delve a little into the trees that were before them. The woman only smiled.

"Elves in ancient armor, much akin to those found at the Temple. I have much experience with hiding and they little with finding. So far."

Solas. It had to be him. A rogue Eluvian was not something he would just forget about. He may now control access to the Crossroads but there were still mirrors scattered throughout Thedas that he must not know about. He would not suffer another race or faction using them.

Kana bit her lip, considering on what exactly to tell the witch. Her own mother had been revealed to harbor the spirit of Mythal. Would it be so hard for her to understand that the elvhen scholar who she'd bickered so heavily with was actually Fen'Harel? What would her reaction be? Morrigan had said at the Temple that she wanted to preserve the past. Would she agree to help Fen'Harel's cause?

"I went back to the Arbor Wilds, repaired the Eluvian there."

A frown took full possession of Morrigan's mouth. She was no stranger to what such a feat would entitle and she was not happy.

"You of all people should know not to tamper with blood magic. Even I do not and I am more liberal in the uses of magic than most! It is unnatural."

Kana's face twisted and she looked down at her hand. The cuts she made were healed but the lingering magic began to make her stomach sick. She began to shake, the realization of her actions pressing down on her. She felt dirty, unclean. She felt like a magister, someone without morals or consciences, but also could now understand the allure of such practices, of the seemingly infinite power that such magic gave. But never again. Why had she done it?

"I was under the direction of..."

Kana grabbed her head as pain exploded there behind her eyes, hissing slightly. They made their presence known. They were angry. What were they expecting on the other side of the Eluvian?

" _Mythal…she told us he had her Eluvian. She lied."_

There was apparent anger behind their words and for the first time, Kana wondered as to how much control Mythal had over her Well. The Sentinels that had given themselves to it were still conscious, still people if only one entity now. A flash of a woman appeared in the forefront of her mind. She wasn't sure if it was one of the many or Mythal herself.

Kana turned her attention back to Morrigan who sat, cup in hand, waiting for the completion of her last sentence.

"Under the direction of whom?"

The woman questioned suspiciously seeming to not care about the sudden outburst or if she did, was too demanding in her interrogation. Kana didn't know what to say or how to explain. Morrigan knew about the Well, she knew about Mythal. She might as well know about Fen'Harel.

Kana swallowed hard.

"Mythal."

She whispered, letting the name sit between them. Morrigan's face twitched at the mentioning, the connection between the ancient Evanuris and her mother Flemeth. No doubt she herself had more questions.

"Mother was always one to push boundaries. I do not envy the particular chains on your free will."

Morrigan took a sip from her cup, impatiently.

"And what, pray tell, has Mythal demanded of you?"

"Nothing," Kana answered, "I restored the Eluvian on her wishes. I have done what I sought to do."

" _Tell her the truth."_

Kana furrowed her eyebrows at the statement, looking down at the bed sheets.

Morrigan leaned forward, her face softer, a longing apparent under her hard exterior.

"Does she…do they talk to you?"

The question was not unexpected. Even upon their brief meeting, Kana could tell that the witch was truthful when referring to Flemeth as her mother. Kana thought back to the few memories she had of her own mother. No love could compare to that of family. Almost no love.

"The Vir'Abelasan, yes. I was told to repair the Eluvian because Mythal told them that someone else would have it."

Now it was Kana who was being ambiguous.

"So it's true. The Dread Wolf has come."

Surprised was perhaps too meager a word. Kana glanced up, fists knotted in the blankets.

"You know? What do you know? Why did you come here, Morrigan? Do you know where he is?"

The last question burst from her mouth in such desperation that it shocked even her. Suddenly, Morrigan pulled Kana forward, off the bed and into to a standing position, their faces inches apart. There was liquid fire in the witch's golden eyes as she studied Kana, fingers wrapped around her arms like talons, holding most of the thin weight of the elvhen woman's body.

"You've seen him. You're trying to find him too!" Kana swallowed hard, fear crawling up her spine. Against her better judgment, an answer slipped from her mouth.

"Yes."

Despite the tension, despite the fact that she didn't exactly trust the witch, Kana told her.

Everything.

Morrigan sat back in her chair nearly dumbfounded, the weight of the world pressed in the little creases of her squished nose. There were so many questions still unanswered but now that a little bit of the darkness had been melted away, the world was not so big and scary anymore. The witch regretted her isolationistic personality more than ever. If she'd been there, at the Exalted Council, with the Inquisitor, Fen'Harel wouldn't have slipped through her fingers.

Morrigan almost couldn't believe it. She'd learned more about history in the past few minutes than she had during hundreds of expeditions and explorations, both in the Fade and the waking world. And it angered her slighty.

"So…Fen'Harel…" Morrigan began but Kana interrupted.

"Solas" she corrected, feeling the name slide of her tongue like honey, sweet but sticky. It was the first time she'd said it since their last meeting. Morrigan couldn't comprehend the elf sitting in front of her. The elvhen man she'd argued with at Mythal's Temple was the Dread Wolf himself, he'd given his orb to the blighted magister, ruined all those lives, he wanted to bring about the destruction of the world once again and Kana still loved him. With the distant look on the elf's face, there was no doubt. It was unfathomably disgusting.

Love was not foreign to Morrigan. She'd had her mother, however odd of a relationship it had been, and she had seen the development between the Hero of Ferelden, Katrin Tabris, and that smutty assassin of her's first hand. Those two she still considered friends, perhaps her only ones. Morrigan remembered the look Lady Nightingale had given her at the Winter Palace: one of distrust and loathing. Katrin hadn't told anyone about what Morrigan had offered the night before the final battle so to the others it must have seemed like the Witch of the Wilds had simply tucked tail and run. The loss of Loghain Mac Tir's life was apparently more appealing than someone having a child with the soul of an Old God. But Morrigan didn't blame the Hero for that.

But this was different. This wasn't about the death of a single person. This was about the fate of the entire world.

Morrigan could tell that Kana waited on her next words, her opinion, her reaction. The elf was in a fragile state so the with did her best to curb her tongue, keeping her question short and simple.

"What do you intend to do?"

Kana hung her head, hair falling before her swimming eyes, eyes that looked so out of focus in her pale face.

"I don't know."

"Do you intend to stop him?"

Morrigan paused and posed a question much more dire, her hackles raising with each one, fingers gripping the arms of her chair. Kana seemed not to notice.

"Do you intend to _aid_ him?"

The witch was nearly out of her chair with apprehension. Kana lifted her face for her to see. Tears were ready to spring from her eyes, a torrent of emotion. She'd told no one else the full story of what had happened. Bits and pieces but for some Fade forsaken reason she'd bared her soul to this human witch and Kana began to doubt her own resolve.

"I love him!" she exclaimed and that was the sole root of every single debate in her mind, of every argument, every problem. She loved him…and he was going to sunder the world. If they'd never met, if she'd never known him, Kana was sure that she wouldn't have had a problem with trying to stop him, kill him even. But whatever god or gods existed, she refused to believe that everything that happened to her had been by chance. There was no honest way it could have been. And so she hung on to that.

Morrigan stood, setting her cup on the side table. This was an impasse and she found herself wishing that Katrin were here. The city elf was always much better in the handling of situations that needed an empathetic hand. Morrigan knew what she, herself, would do, how she was going to stand in the coming days. Fen'Harel needed to be stopped and she was, fortuitously, now in possession of the thing he loved most...supposedly. He would have killed her if he didn't. Or maybe if he did, to eliminate such weakness. Morrigan had avoided the elvhen apostate during her stay at Skyhold and now regretted it terrible. She had no gauge of his character to direct her choices by.

Kana watched the woman walk over to the door and turn a key in the lock. Her instincts were kicking in now. She stood again, of her own volition this time, despite the lack of strength in her wobbly legs. She had no armor, no magical protection other than the runes in Dagna's band and a ring on her finger. Kana's staff was across the room.

"What are you doing?"

A voice nagged in the back of Morrigan's mind, a sense of morality that Katrin had instilled upon her. She ignored it, having lived without it for most of her life, but the remorse was still visible on her face. Morrigan recognized the poor condition of the elvhen people but refused to sacrifice so much for their return.

"I am sorry Inquisitor but I cannot allow you to leave. Despite what you intend to do, Fen'Harel must be stopped. I won't allow him to destroy this world on the premise of bringing back something that is gone."

A staff appeared in Morrigan's hand and Kana looked for her own but it was across the room, most likely purposely put that far away. Now threatened, the elvhen mage stood her ground despite bodily weaknesses. Kana didn't know what she was going to do, what she was going to decide. Right now her goal was simply to find him. And Morrigan was now blocking her way.

"Whatever you are thinking, it won't work. He cares more for the People than for me. That was made evident two years ago."

Kana saw the configuration behind Morrigan's eyes at the thought but it didn't seem to deter her.

"I know enough of love to know that it is always a weakness."

The witch said it with such a bitter tone that Kana wondered just what had caused such a revelation. But her empathy was in short supply at the moment. Kana was more concerned with her own safety.

"I…don't want to fight you." A magic glow encompassed Kana's bare hands, mystical and non. The hut suddenly seemed too small. Morrigan didn't back down.

Neither were sure who cast the first spell but Morrigan easily deflected the blast. Kana was too slow and was shoved back onto the bed, the stun having done its work. The witch, in the back of her mind, had expected more of the Dalish appointed Inquisitor. When Lavellan did not move, Morrigan walked over and looked down at her form. She didn't know what she intended to do exactly. How does one go about blackmailing a god after all? And then there was the doubt in her mind that Fen'Harel would even care or if he did, intervene. Lavellan had a point. If his resolve was true, the ancient rebel wouldn't forsake his quest for anything, let alone a single person, no matter how important. But Morrigan was counting on it not being.

Suddenly, Kana's hand shot up and gripped Morrigan's throat with more malice and power than the witch thought her capable of. Her blue eyes opened but it wasn't Lavellan staring back.

It was someone else – _something_ else.


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer: I don't own Dragon Age.**

 **...**

Chapter 9:

Memories played over in her mind, brought forth by those inside. They whispered quietly, caressing, curious. They were curious about her, reaching into reassesses long since set aside, accepted. Kana was only vaguely aware of her lack of self control. Morrigan had stunned her and someone else had appeared in the fight, easily taking over her defenses. She…

 _They had camped too close to the forest's edge; their fires too easily seen from the shemlen roads. They were near out of supplies for the winter and hoped to trade with a nearby village, staying close the shemlen paths to keep and quicker route and pace. Keeper Istani Mhiranis was out in front, using all sorts of magical munitions to stave back the human raiders that appeared out of the woods like demons. She was flanked by her First and Second and surrounded by hunters. Istani protected her people. Kana knew that she would protect her as well, even as she hid beneath one of the arravels. She didn't know where the other children, her friends, were. She didn't know where anyone was. She'd been visiting the halla. Their cries could be heard behind her as panic took them over.  
_

 _Istani barked orders, forming magical barriers and attacks. All Dalish knew how to fight or at least how to defend themselves. Kana was seven years old and wasn't yet expertly trained. She hadn't seen such violence before except within her nightmares._

 _A crash above her head startled Kana from her hiding spot and she crawled out to see that the trees had also caught fire, showering the area in sparks from the pine needles. It was beautiful, a downfall of stars. A large limb crushed the arravel she'd been hiding under.  
_

 _"Kana!"_

 _Her mother called, breaking from the Keeper's side, staff in hand, eyes fixated on her child. She brought it down hard against an enemy with swift retribution and the figure no longer moved._

" _Come" her mother implored, pulling her daughter away from the fight. Flames rose around them, fire and smoke blocking out the trees and moon-lit sky until there wasn't a single light that wasn't destructive and red._

 _Kana's tiny feet couldn't keep up with her Mamae's and she was eventually lifted up, strong arms clamping around her back and tucking in her head. There was a liquid seeping from under the woman's armor and Kana brought a red hand to her face.  
_

" _Close your eyes, tight, don't look. Remember our song?"_

 _Kana nodded, blue eyes tearing up at the glimpse of what lay behind them. There was nothing but screaming and carnage. She could see those being purposefully pushed into the flames. Their cries rang in her ears. Keeper Istani was among them, a stray blade and old age the cause of her demise. These humans were not in the market for slaves. They had come to kill.  
_

" _Nandi!"_

 _A familiar voice called out, bow slung across strong back, twin blades in his clenched fists. Kana's father greeted his family with open arms, burying his face in his beloved's hair, a hand going to her neck. There was no time. Another explosion wracked the clan._

" _Here! Take her! I have to go back, they need me!"_

 _No, Kana wanted to call out but she was tiny, her fists bunching in her mother's braided hair. She wasn't the only one to be reluctant to let go. Her father pulled her mother closer, pressing cracked lips together before separating.  
_

" _Please, Hasehn…please be careful."_

 _Fingers snuck between the bodies of mother and child and Kana was separated from her.  
_

"You _be careful. I will find the others, get Kana to safety. Then I will come back. I will find you."_

That was the last time she saw her mother. Kana, wherever she was, whomever she was with, writhed in agony at the last look, fingers reaching out after the shrinking form. She couldn't remember what their faces looked like. _  
_

" _Mamae!"_

 _She called as the woman disappeared back into the smoke, staff clutched tightly in her hand. Kana's father began running then, towards the outskirts of camp, on hand gripping a blade, the other his only child. But there was no one waiting for him there. He looked around, then looked back for his wife. The screams were continuing and there was a blast of lightning from the center of the burning tents. Kana knew her mother liked lightning. Suddenly she was down on the ground, in the earth, hidden by underbrush._

" _Stay here. I will go find Mamae. Stay there, Kana."  
_

She was too young to understand the sorrow, the worry, the paralyzing fear that her father must have felt, that her mother had. She never knew what happened. If they had seen each other again before the end.

 _The girl nodded, confident in her parent's abilities with childish naiveté. They were invincible. Nothing could harm them._

But neither her father nor mother ever came back.

Sorrow and pain wracked her mind and Kana tried to shake the memories but the scene kept going.

 _Fen'Harel. The statue stared back at Kana through the undergrowth, facing away from camp. The screaming hadn't stopped and she had started moving away from it, trying to escape the sounds. Now she was outside of the camp. But it was a camp no longer. Her parents were never coming back; she was alone, now and forever. Kana walked over to the wolf statue and sat down beside it, opposite in the way it stared, confidant that the wolf would watch her back. She was wrong. Rough hands pulled her hair and dragged her away, the statue watching the entire time. Kana felt hot, the smoke burning her nostrils, something was stirring. She reached up, grabbing the angry hands and…_

 _Fire._

They were showing her this? Showing her how she'd discovered her magic. Showing her the first people she'd murdered. Kana was a child. She didn't understand at the time. It was only later, when the Lavellan Clan had come to investigate that Deshanna had seen the carnage and shivered. The survivor was a mage…and she was a murderer, even before she had come to understand death fully. That's why they didn't like her, didn't trust her. They'd found her holding on to the Wolf as if he'd granted her magic only to have her be a killer. Kana couldn't even remember a time when there wasn't blood on her hands. There was still the smell of smoke. It was always of smoke.

And she was seven years old again, hugging onto the wolf statue for her life while dead bodies smoldered behind her, in front of her, around her. The sight reflective of all the horrors to haunt her: the Conclave, burnt red bodies reflecting their last moments, Crestwood, the Fallow Mire, it all made her stomach clench and her legs wobbly. Undead had never been her forte and oft she'd need the stronger stomached companions to accompany her to those regions.

"I'm sorry." Kana said, tears spilling from her eyes. "I'm so sorry".

She wasn't a little girl anymore. She didn't need a stone statue for comfort. Kana dropped her arms and stood to her normal height and placed a hand on the top of the wolf's head. It was Fen'Harel. It was always him. Kana accepted the thought that it always would be.

Her dream was crumbling and demons, attracted to the nightmare, were closing in. Kana wiped her face and began walking, unsure what had happen in the waking world or what Morrigan planned to do with her.

…

But demons were not the only thing attracted to her fear. Kana couldn't see the pair of eyes that had found her only to see a little Dalish girl crying into the shoulder of a statue, the smell of death and smoke around her. This was the hell she was calling from, a child urging stone to protect her, reliving a memory, the epitome of he had failed to do: protect the People, her especially. Solas breathed a sigh. After her disappearance and then the magic felt from her trip through the Eluvian, he'd been worried. This was only a nightmare however, one he recognized. She'd told him this story…he'd been one of the only ones who knew what happened, how her magic had manifested. He watched the girl stand, having defeated her own nightmare, and walk off, unable to see the figures that lingered in the shadows, watching him watching her.

They saw him through Kana's eyes, but the Vir'Abelasan wanted to speak to Fen'Harel themselves…before deciding on whether or not to kill him.

…

Cole had found him at the old place, the place in the sky. It was perfect and simple. It made sense. It had always been his place even if no one else knew. His as much as her's, another secret not shared, kept silent in the slow of the dark night.

Skyhold was much the same except it was full of elves. Some were filled with bad feelings who burned books and furniture in the yard. There were so many who had been hurt by humans that that's all they could think of. They wanted to march, to kill them all. Solas wasn't like this, he didn't want to burn books or kill people, he's not the kind of wolf. He wanted to create, to rebuilt, to spread knowledge so that everyone knew, knows. Others only wanted to be safe; all believed in Fen'Harel.

But Cole could not get distracted, noise floating, up and up, to the balcony, a longing kiss laced with nothing more than happiness and hope, no lies, no ultimatums, unconditional. Why couldn't he have seen that? She was unconditional. And now she was in danger, no longer completely her own. Compassion knew he wouldn't want that.

Cole didn't travel like normal people. He wasn't normal people, through the Fade, drifting, floating. What would happen when all were like him, when the Veil was gone and there were no demons. It would hurt a lot of people but it would be better, like pulling out an arrow from a wound that no one knew was there. Wouldn't it be?

He crept through the Great Hall, those around oblivious, dreaming good dreams, taken care of like the people in the camp below, children and mothers, elders and those with writing on their faces. Most of it was gone now but there were a few who were stubborn, only here because they had no choice. Much like Solas.

Cole found him asleep. It was dark outside and he was a wolf so it was perfectly natural. But he was not in the bed that smelled of her but at the desk. Cole saw a glimpse there, a tiny thought hovering above the bookcase behind it. Solas had found letters from her to her. Cole knew that Kana liked to write down her thoughts especially when she didn't want to bother anyone else. She liked writing. The Dalish never had much paper. Cole would tell him that too.

"Solas. Wake up…I need to talk to you." It was only when his eyes opened that Cole thought about the possibility that the wolf might be angry, jaws snapping and nipping, only to keep the babies from playing near fire or getting hurt.

"Cole?" Yes, he was angry.

"No time for ideas, thoughts, whisperers, flitting around in her ears like little bugs. She can't get them to go away forever and they hurt her, make her do things. Wrong, wrong, wrong. It doesn't come from the Fade." Solas' face went from sleepy to stubborn in one shift, eyebrows tightening.

"You remembered."

"Not all of it, its fuzzy, foggy, I can't hear it like I used to because of you but I had to try because I got angry. So _you_ don't be angry." Cole sat in a crouch on Solas' desk, eye to eye with the elf, his floppy hat making him look like a brown mushroom. Remembering his earlier train of thought, Cole kept speaking, wanting him to hear a little more.

"Words and wants written on pages, flighty, fleeting, anger on a flat surface, ink covered fingertips. "He saw them the other day and smiled"." Cole paused, making sure his friend understood.

"She burnt the ones about you."

Solas sighed, rubbing his forehead. He had assumed that was what had happened.

"Not like that though, little wishes floating up to the sky like lanterns at the lake. Maybe someone will hear."

Solas knew that Cole was here to help. He was always here to help but he was not in the mood. He'd just witnessed something miserable, smoke and fire. And he hadn't done anything. He didn't want to think about her writings. He wanted to know if she was safe but Mythal was staying silent, as usual.

"Wishing, waiting, wanting, things not what they seem, the little girl was there before but not with them. She never called your name. She was too scared to."

"Cole." Solas stood from his chair and Compassion followed with his eyes, hopping down skillfully.

"Please, listen, you have to listen or else it will be too late. Little bugs turn into spiders. They spin their webs till everyone and everything is caught."

He was tired, so very tired, Cole could see but couldn't help so soon after. He was sad, the spirit was because there was nothing he could do. Solas would have to see for himself.

"Don't be like them, listen to everyone, they are not how you would have them and she…"

"Forget"

Cole's body stood stock still. He'd forgotten what he'd tried to say, what. Before him stood an elf but he couldn't read him. The elf was powerful.

"You are needed somewhere else, friend. Go, and don't come to see me again."

Cole nodded but there was a nagging at the back of his mind. Something that the man needed to hear. Before leaving he turned around and said what came to his mouth.

"Don't be your name. It would be _wrong_."

Cole left then, heading down to the small city of tents to the elves. They were angry, sad, hungry for something they didn't have. But he could help.


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer: I don't own Dragon Age.**

...

Chapter 10:

Despite the pressure on her throat Morrigan addressed the Vir'Abelasan with cool intellect, as calculated as ever.

"With _whom_ am I speaking?"

She asked curiously. The Well was comprised of those who'd dedicated their lives to Mythal. Was their consciousness one of community or of separate beings? There were many questions she wanted to ask the ancient elvhen, now that she had the opportunity.

Kana's face soured.

"Do not patronize us, while intending harm. You threaten our host."

The voice coming from the elf before her hinted at its rightful owner but it was laced, layered, with echoes and overlays, like a symphony adding to one sound. The person before her was defiantly not Lavellan. The woman's entire posture had changed, from the turbulent youth to someone or something older, more experienced, confident in their superiority. Morrigan lowered her staff, more interested in the many ancient elvhen than in fighting them.

"Not bodily harm. Tell me, if you will, of how much are you aware?"

Kana's hand kept its grip but the elvhen woman got up onto her feet and held out the other appendage. The staff in the corner was summoned effortlessly to that hand and Kana stepped down from the bed, forcing Morrigan to sit down in her chair. She moved with a grace and skill attained over millennia and embodied by only a remaining few. Solas had been such a one, as were the Sentinels. The witch berated herself. She should have made the connection at the Temple.

Looking around, the Vir'Abelasan seemed cautious, apprehensive behind Kana's eyes, as if not sure of their own existence, flexing fingers in front of their face. They spotted the Eluvian and moved towards it, releasing Morrigan's throat, moving around the overturned chair. They pressed hands, twisted around, curious and Morrigan had a fleeting thought about the _men_ who were part of the collective as. The witch's mouth twitched.

"We know her. We know what she has seen. You are concerned?"

The elf tilted her head and directed her gaze back to Morrigan, no longer interested in their new vessel. Kana Lavellan was apparently adequate.

Concern? Perhaps. She had encountered many abominations, those that housed spirits and those that housed demons. Neither was a good bond but Kana was not connected to simple spirits. Those inside her head had once been alive, real people. Their bodies were gone but consciousness was upon them. Yes, Morrigan was concerned at how much control the Vir'Abelasan desired over their host. Kana could be barred from her own body. This tugged on a nerve inside the witch. Before knowing what she truly was, Morrigan, or rather Tabris, had found Flemeth's black grimoire and brought light the way her mother supposedly prolonged her life. She'd once feared for her own freedom. Now she was at an impasse. The same thing could happen to Kana Lavellan.

Those glazed eyes fixed back upon her. She did not answer the Vir'Abelasan's question but simply watched as the elvhen woman fumbled around the cabin, running her hands along the different surfaces.

"What does Mythal intend to do?"

Seemingly puzzled, the Well paused.

"We do not know. We thought we did once…but much has changed in the world. She is in league with the Dread One."

At the mention of him, Kana's body flinched but Morrigan wasn't brave enough to inquire as to the movement's origin. The beings in her head seemed in conflict, all the while stretching and moving each part of their host.

"And what _of_ Fen'Harel?"

Morrigan asked, wondering how the Vir'Abelasan would decide. She knew Kana's own struggle over the fate of her beloved but how would hundreds of ancient Sentinels judge?

The stillness that settled over Kana was startling and the witch chanced to stand. The elf did not move and Morrigan placed a hand carefully on her arm.

"We are leaving." As if spurned into action and completely ignoring the confrontation that just occurred between their host and their literal host, Kana reached for her robes, her armor. Morrigan once again moved to block the elvhen woman's path.

"I cannot let you go to him." The witch said adamantly and Kana's face soured.

The rage was instantaneous, a glare that rivaled that of Flemeth's.

"Let us pass." It was Kana's voice coming from her mouth but not. It was haunted and echoed through her ears as she heard it, no longer calmly detached.

"What do you intend to do?" She asked plainly, not wanting to waste an opportunity to peer into a hive mind. But the Vir'Abelasan's patience was waning with her, Morrigan could tell.

"We intend to find the Dread Wolf, human. Mythal's previous vessel may have been your progenitor but we will not give you more respect than that." The witch was taken aback at the Well's choice of words.

"What do you mean "previous"? What has become of my mother?" They did not answer but Kana moved towards the door. Morrigan could feel the elvhen woman's magic building. One blast and there would _be_ no door. But Morrigan needed to know more, she maneuvered herself around and stood before the threshold.

"You go to join Fen'Harel? Do you plan to stop him?"

They once again said nothing and Morrigan recalled Flemeth's heated speech in the grove where Kana had summoned the dragon.

"You go to aid him? You go to help him destroy the world? And you would _use_ her to do it. Does she even know of your intentions?"

Faster than Morrigan thought possible, Kana Lavellan was at eye level, glazed gaze pouring into her's. The elf, she didn't doubt was standing on her toes to do it. Her balance was unshakeable.

"Listen to me, human witch. I am Anaya, last of the Well's Keepers. I speak for the Vir'Abelasan. We saw the world, the Empire as it once was, a time of incessant wars caused by petty occurrences and slight insults, cast by a group who cared nothing for the People. Mythal sided with Fen'Harel, we cared for those we came to us for help."

"Then you go to aid him?"

"We go to kill him."

The statement hung in the air like a noose. Morrigan didn't understand their intention and the Well saw it.

"He plans to restore the Fade to the waking world but it will cause an insurmountable amount of chaos, as much as any of the Evanuris' wars. He chained them for the greater good but the disappearance of the Veil will break the locks. We will not let this happen, no matter how desolate a future the People face."

Morrigan shut her open mouth as the tension shifted between the two figures. An understanding filled the air and Morrigan backed away from the door, to stand just behind Kana Lavellan's form, her own plans accumulating in her mind. Kana had mentioned vaguely what the Veil held at bay, what the consequences might possibly be. Morrigan agreed with the Vir'Abelasan. The Empire was lost and Thedas had moved on. This was her world and she intended to preserve it.

Kana placed a hand on the door handle but then her body collided with the wall, as if pushed. A violet hand went to her forehead.

"We are waning, disappearing. All magic has its price." Morrigan could feel the magic dissipating, weakening and she helped the source back to her feet.

"I, too, want Fen'Harel stopped. You have my aid, willingly."

The witch almost chuckled to herself. For so long she had wanted to avoid anything that had to do with her mother. Now she found herself once again regretting allowing the Inquisitor to drink from the Well. What allies the Vir'Abelasan and she would have been. Instead, they were trapped in a body that desired the enemy.

The power that once emanated from Kana began to fade, but not before one last revelation from Morrigan's newest friends.

"He killed your mother."

…

The scene from before repeated itself: Kana slept in the bed and Morrigan sat in her chair. But much had changed, had been revealed and a new resentment fueled the witch's fury. She was trying to calculate, formulate plans and actions for the coming days but her thoughts were mired. Mythal was in league with Fen'Harel…but he had killed her mother. Had he killed Flemeth and released Mythal? Couldn't the two women separate themselves on their own? In what circumstances had the Dread Wolf required her mother to die?

No longer content in her stillness, Morrigan stood and began to pace. She was not one to be upset. She'd once told Alistair that she'd laugh if her mother died. She didn't feel like laughing. Instead, rage boiled under her skin like fire. Morrigan had spent most of her life in Flemeth's shadow and care. Then the blight had come and nothing stayed the same. The witch had found friends in the Hero of Ferelden and her merry band of misfits. There were few people in Morrigan's life and that circle just grew smaller.

The Vir'Abelasan planned to kill the Dread Wolf in service of the People, to protect the world from the possibility of another age controlled by an empire worse than Tevinter.

But as tears fell from Morrigan's cheeks for one of the few times in her life, it was more than benevolence that solidified her plans of action. It was vengeance. She knew that something was happening within the Arlathan Forest. She knew where the activity was heaviest. Morrigan would deliver Lavellan to the Dread Wolf and she would watch as the person he loved most became the harbinger of his death.

…

The next morning, after a night of pacing and angry words thrown silently at the darkness, Morrigan carried Kana's sleeping form out of her hut. The hours behind her had been filled with unanswered questions and the pursuits of theories and lines of thought she had no way of proving.

She thought back to the Temple, to the Sentinel, Abelas' warning about the Well. What she'd witnessed, was this the great consequence, sharing a mind, a body, with more than your own. Morrigan had had time to consider what would happen if her plans were fulfilled, if the Dread Wolf was killed and peace once again restored to Thedas. What would happen to Kana?

The witch wondered how many were present, trapped inside her frail looking body, trapped inside Kana's head. Morrigan couldn't imagine such an existence and couldn't quiet blame them for wanting to be more than an afterthought. They were going to use Kana to get to Fen'Harel…and Morrigan was going to help them do it.

She finally got the elvhen woman, heavier than she seemed to be, over to the pesky beast munching on her herb garden. Morrigan had only been here a few months but magical gardening was something she'd picked up. She was better at growing her food than hunting for it. The sun was at its peak in the sky. Kana stirred slightly and the witch wondered what war raged behind her closed eyes.

The Vir'Abelasan had said that the Dread Wolf killed Flemeth but that still left the question as to where Mythal was. Was she wandering again, looking for another host? Then a fear gripped Morrigan. If Mythal could gain a new host, claw her way through the ages, so too could Fen'Harel. These were consequences to be considered and soon. Morrigan decided to trust the Well. They were more knowledgeable than her about ancient elvhen magic.

The witch looked down at Kana's slumbering face, a pang of guilt hitting her chest. They were going to use her go get close to him, to kill him. By the way she'd talked about the man she'd known as Solas, it was likely to kill her as well. But without Mythal or Fen'Harel having a physical body, there would be no one to command the Vir'Abelasan. They would be free. Free to use Kana's body. Morrigan wouldn't let that happen but couldn't think of any other way to save her. In the end, this was the way things were, Morrigan thought, people using other people to do bad things until that was all was left.

She'd seen this first hand.

Morrigan lifted Kana's limp form up onto the hart who was more than willing to take the weight of his master.

"Smart one" she murmured as she began strapping the elf into the saddle. She'd already fixed any supplies and her staff to the saddle as well. Morrigan had seen elves in the forest around her home. She was a shape-changer after all and most normally didn't bother a great bear. Whatever was going on, she didn't doubt it to be Fen'Harel. She had come to seek him out, to ask questions she could only get from someone who'd actually been there, and to hopefully track down her mother. Now it was not she who needed to find him.

The witch had followed their patterns, the carefully placed paths that guarded whatever lay hidden beyond her reach in the forest. They would find the Inquisitor, she was certain. As she pulled the hart and its owner further into the forest, a lump began to form in her throat. She began to feel the criticism already. Katrin would not be happy with her. Morrigan didn't know how the city elf or her lover of an assassin would react upon hearing that some elvhen god whom they've never met wanted to destroy the world. Yes, Morrigan thought, they would agree that this was what needed to be done but still not like it. Better only two more die than the entire world.

Morrigan would not allow the Dread Wolf to tear down the Veil. She cared for this world too much, however horrible and decrepit it was. She didn't know what Fen'Harel planned to do to the humans in his new age and Morrigan didn't want to find out. She would not be bowing to some ancient elvhen rebel. She would bow to no one.

So Kana would kill him...then she would kill Kana, saving the world for at least another thousand years.


	11. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer: I don't own Dragon Age.**

 **...**

Chapter 11:

Kana remembered the feeling of falling, of fear, but then of peace. She had to stop waking up in strange places.

But this was not exactly a strange place, sitting on Revas' back. She cracked one eye open to see dust around her. The sun was sinking below the clouds like a ship slowing filling with water, red and vibrant. Sitting was painful, her body aching as she urged it into an upright position. She wondered how long Revas had been walking, how long she'd been riding…or how she'd actually gotten onto his back.

She had been in Morrigan's hut…so where was she now. Turning left and right, nothing was familiar except for the trees. This must be the Arlathan Forest, Kana thought, rubbing her eyes. It was strange, to be in this place, the place of her ancestors.

" _She set us on our way."_

The abrupt voice made her jump and Kana was a little glad that it was them rather than a stranger in the forest. The mage thought back to her time in the hut and pressed a hand to her forehead. Morrigan had wanted to stop her…so why let her go? She posed her question but the Vir'Abelasan was quiet, still in the back of her mind. It was odd, as if they were…dormant. She shifted more in her saddle, looking behind her. Her eyes were now adjusted. She was born among the trees. They would never harbor any fear for her.

"Revas?" Kana voiced, her throat hoarse and try. She reached for her water skin to find it full. In fact, all of her bags were full and then some. Kana's stomach was empty and so she rummaged through and found some dried fruit and meat and eagerly ate. But she couldn't shake a feeling from the back of her mind. She was back in her armor but didn't remember getting dressed. Her left arm was still there, as solid as ever. Kana was now very grateful for the dwarf's skills. She reached up to feel the band, still icy and cold on her skin. It was still working. The elf was very grateful. But there was something else that was bothering her, something other than her odd situation or the linger aspects of one of her worst memories. Kana rubbed her nose. She could still smell smoke.

She reached into her bags again, searching for what she hoped was still there. And it was, wrapped in a layer of cloth that hadn't been disturbed. Kana was smart to have hidden it among her clothing. Digging through another bag, her hand brushed against paper; something that she knew hadn't been there before. She put the note up to her face, lighting a flame in the palm of her hand to read it by.

 _Lavellan,_

 _The world will be watching, waiting. And so will I. Do not look for me again._

 _M_

Kana scoffed slightly. Yes. This sounded just like her. Morrigan was always ready to dish out a threat. But the witch did have a point. Kana had decisions to make…but not yet. She needed to find Solas first. How long had she been asleep?

With the day growing darker, Kana burned the note in her fist and doused the light. It would only attract attention. She could instantly feel that Revas relaxed. She couldn't blame him his aversion to fire, especially when she had one herself. Despite being able to control the element, she was always wary of it.

Looking at her surroundings, Kana grabbed the reins and halted Revas. She didn't know where she was or how far they had gone. The forest was a blanket before her, illuminated in the last light of the sun. It would soon change to pale moonlight. Kana's Dalish instincts came to the forefront of her mind. She needed to find somewhere to camp, despite not feeling tired at all. She wouldn't be able to find anyone in the dark like this. The hart tugged against her grip. He wanted to go, wanted to keep walking. Kana wouldn't begrudge him, at least while there was still light.

The beast trudged forward one hoof in front of the other. The dusk, however fresh, was chilly, the first whispers of autumn and winter. Kana pulled her coat further around her small body. Then something caught her eye, a long shaft embedded into a tree. The mage directed her hart towards the trunk and attempted to pull it free. She had never been a hunter but even a city-elf would recognize an arrow. During her time in the Inquisition, Kana had learned much about weaponry and how different causes, factions, crafted their weapons in different ways. She did not recognize this arrow.

Morrigan's voice entered her head. She'd said there were elves in this forest. Kana hoped this was a sign of them. Kana was not a hunter, but every Dalish was able to track, either run away halla, enemies, or prey.

She swung a leg over Revas' back and dismounted, bending down to studying the ground. There was a disturbance in the pine needles other than that of her hart's hooves. Something had past this way but she couldn't determine how long ago.

Then she heard it: a rustling nearby that was too big for something small like a squirrel.

Revas felt it too, snorting to get his rider's attention. Kana pulled herself up into the saddle and squeezed his sides to urge him forward.

She remembered the stories told by the village elders, always as a joke or a lesson. There were many about the Dread Wolf and once she may have been scared of him, of the woods. Now when she thought that name she felt strong arms, she felt safety. It was other things in the darkness she feared now.

A flash of movement caught her eye to the left and Kana pushed Revas in the opposite direction, riding under the skeleton of a fallen tree. She realized what was happening then. She was being herded, a tactic many predators used. Determined, Kana doubled back; to go the direction she had originally wanted. If these were elves, Kana needed to meet them.

The bushes stirred but she ignored them. If it was animals, if it was people, they would have to come for her.

And come they did, suddenly, like waves taking the shore. Kana was a mage but had always had trouble detecting any rogues hiding under their cloak of shadow abilities. Revas' reins were grabbed, her staff was pulled from her saddle and she was shoved, not with hands but with magic. There was a mage among them.

"A spy!" someone shouted, pulling her along by the back of her collar. Pulling her along by…

Rage gripped Kana and she unleashed herself, casting a barrier that would protect but also began to burn whomever laid hands on her.

"No, sarabas, Garsiv." The hands that held released her immediately, and Kana was instantly upon her feet in a fighting stance. She did not have her staff but she was still powerful.

It was only then that she could see her adversaries, dressed head to toe in leather, animal skins, notably wolves, adorning their backs so the intact muzzles, teeth and all, become hoods over their heads. The falling darkness played tricks on her eyes, casting shadows with dripping claws, ready to snatch her life away.

Kana found herself surrounded with their dark eyes on her. They seemed more animal than human, beast-like in how they towered over her tiny frame. Besides the pelts, other things covered their cloaks and armor, quills, bones, and feathers. They reminded Kana of the Avvar, slathered in mud and paint, but even the tribesmen of the south couldn't compare to the ferocity of the warriors before her.

They were Qunari, horns ripping upwards from their skulls in curls or angled lines. But these creatures, Kana could tell, didn't follow the Qun.

The figures before her were Tal-Vashoth.

She swallowed hard before speaking.

"Leave me be, I have no quarrel with you." Kana said forcefully, eyes jerking back and forth. She was not going to be prey. Her heart beat in her ears and the Vir'Abelasan was now keenly observing.

A man near her spat onto the ground and stormed forward, yanking Kana up by her right arm to hold her at eye level. Stories told by Varric and Bull rang through her head. It seemed that most of them might actually be true...and that put fear in Kana.

"You are in _our_ forest, _elf_. You have brought war upon yourselves. This is our dominion. Your master will not take it back so easily." Kana squirmed in the Qunari's grip, both his large hands now encompassing her arm as if threatening to break it. More were coming forward through the brush and Kana counted seven large horned giants. Some carried spears; others carried makeshift weapons carved from giant bone and tree.

"Let go, and let me be, I won't ask again." She said and the Qunari holding her allowed her feet touch the earth again. He did not release her arm. Others were searching through her bags. Revas was having a fit, snorting and shifting his weight between legs wildly. Two of the large beings held him around the neck and she was afraid they were going to snap it.

"Don't hurt him." Kana cried, a little more desperately than she would have liked. The man holding her snickered.

"Good for eating." He said, licking his lips. She wasn't sure if he meant the hart or her, either way she didn't want to find out. Revas wasn't harmed but the Qunari kept going through her saddle bags, throwing out supplies that they had no use for and pocketing what was. But that was the least of her problems, Kana didn't want them to find...

"Duroc"

Damn.

One warrior pushed the other aside, the one who'd spoken, and pulled it from her pack, unwrapping the fabric around it. Once he saw what it was, he dropped it to the forest floor and a great howl was let out among the group. She was suddenly thrown down next to the object, her right shoulder taking the brunt of the impact.

"We know what that is, rat. Are you coming or going, taking or bringing it back to the Trespasser?"

Kana huffed, her sides burning. She turned over on her back, looking up and finally seeing a few of the faces glaring down at her. She was surprised to see feminine features. They looked near indistinguishable from the men, hooded.

"I don't know what you are talking about." A foot met her chest, pressing her back into the forest floor.

"Lies. You dress like them, those that run through the trees. You have their ears." One of the warriors pulled back his cloak to show a necklace. Kana thought she was going to be sick. Wherever he'd gotten those that at least meant there were more of her People nearby and the fighting...were they in a war with these barbarians? That explained the arrow in the tree.

Kana's face must have reflected her feelings for the group laughed together.

Suddenly, like the personification of jagged teeth, a voice growled in the night.

"Silence. We must not alert any who might be nearby."

"Garsiv. What is your judgment?" A man thicker and taller than all the others stepped forward and studied Kana. She was sitting up now, eyes scanning. She couldn't attack, not when she was so surrounded and so outnumbered.

Garsiv bent low at the waist. He studied her robes, the staff, her mount but what caught his eye was the smeared paint on her face. It was not unlike the other vermin in his forest, at least until they came to meet the Dread One.

"This is a disguise. The paint is not permanent." The others seemed to growl at this. Kana was powerless when the man bent down to retrieve the orb, clutched tightly in her arms.

He held it in one hand, fingers elongated by jagged nails, eyeing the markings. The pelt upon his back was blacker than night and Kana assumed it was some kind of bear maybe. A weapon peered over his shoulder, adorned with a skull. She couldn't tell if it was a blade a bow or a staff. She hoped it was one of the latter.

"There is no magic in it." Garsiv said before tossing it back into the dirt and finding her face again.

"You will come with us…or you will die." And with that, he turned his head and began to walk away. She didn't doubt she'd be dragged by the others following behind him.

Kana saw an opportunity…and took it.

Her left foot hooked around the nearest ankle, toppling the leader. Her joint suffered for the blow but there was no time to absorb the pain. She flashed a bolt of lightning between her fingertips and dove for the orb and then her staff, held in the arms of probably the most grisly woman she'd ever seen.

"Very well. Slay the elf. She is as new in the forest as a fawn. I would not have another mage joining our enemy and gaining teeth." She heard over her shoulder after wrenching the weapon away. Instantly, Kana was surrounded by the hulking figures. But she had an advantage in size. She would be faster, more agile than them.

Kana looked beyond the kill circle and found Revas, agitated and snorting. In one swift movement, she'd fade-stepped through the enemies, wrenching her staff in a downward strike to smite her hart's captor, relying on the lyrium to burn. The Qunari howled as she slashed across his chest, releasing his hold on Revas who then proceeded to thrash him again with his impressive antlers.

"Go!" Kana yelled, smacking the hart on the rump as hard as she could and he took off running, faster than they could catch him. Now _she_ had to out run them.

Fade stepping was one of her favorite abilities but the practice was tiring and she couldn't keep it up for long, not when hunger gnawed in her stomach and weakness shook her muscles. At least she wasn't tired. What in Thedas had Morrigan been thinking, sending her into this?

Kana cast another spell, a frost glyph before turning tail and running in the same direction of Revas. She was trying to avoid using fire. She didn't need to deal with a burning forest as well as a group of savage Qunari.

Suddenly, a barrier blocked her way but she dove around it, quickly falling to the side before being caught it its grip.

"Kill her!"

Kana knew she needed both hands to fight properly. She decided quickly and searched the forest for a suitable hiding place. There, in a thicket was a hollow tree. Perfect if only she could get to it.

She ran for it, ignoring the shouting and trudging coming from behind her. Throwing up a wall of ice, to hide what she was doing, Kana placed the orb in the tree.

She had kept the ancient remains as a reminder and it was only curiosity that had her trying to piece it back together. In the weeks after the Exalted Council, Kana had found it fused back together but the magic remained gone. Still, she'd put too much time and effort into that blasted thing than to just hand it over now. It would, at least she thought it might, get her an audience with the Dread Wolf. She thought Solas might want it back.

Kana turned to run but a crunching above her shattered her resolve. Down came a war hammer through the ice and she knew. She knew right then and there that she was going to die. She'd never see him again.

She threw up her barrier and her left arm at the same time and…

The force of the impact sent her flying backwards into the hollow tree and with a sickening crunch it fell. Kana's head spun and she glanced down at her left arm. There was a massive hole, jagged and angry, in her metal arm guards, all the way down to the thin mail she wore underneath, the violet shimmering through the damage. Her arm was glowing, vibrating.

She didn't have time to worry about how or what or even if the orb was still in the tree because the other warriors were bearing down upon her, an arrow hitting the ground next to her side.

Kana wasted no more time, scrambling through the brush, ignoring the pain as thorns and branches pulled her hair and thread-like braids, scratching across her face and body.

Then something else whipped past Kana's face. Another arrow. But it was not aimed at her and it had come from the opposite direction.

"Its an ambush!" She heard one of the Qunari behind her scream and the running stopped, all except for the movement of her own legs. There, she finally caught sight of the thicket's end. Stumbling out into the clearing, Kana lost her balance again, rolling forward a few feet, sweating hand holding onto her staff for fear of losing it.

She landed on her knees, still scrambling forward when a command filled the night, daunting and clearly elvish.

"Fire!"

Kana covered her face, squishing herself into a ball as more arrows passed above her body, all aimed at the Qunari.

She tilted her head to see a line of elvhen archers before her. They were ragtag, not as perfect or aligned as the Sentinels had been at the Temple of Mythal, but they had saved Kana's life. And she was glad to see them. The centered most man lowered his bow and shouted orders to his men in fluent ancient elvhen. With nods of acknowledgement they sprinted off through the trees, slinging bows over their backs and unsheathing daggers.

The leader then turned his attention to her.

"I found you." She croaked hoarsely. This seemed quite funny him as he planted the end of his bow into the ground, leaning on it as he knelt before her. He offered his other hand.

"Actually, it seems that we found you."


	12. Chapter 12

**Disclaimer: I don't own Dragon Age.**

 **...**

Chapter 12:

Kana took the man's hand, clad in a leather glove, and was pulled to her feet. He gave a warm laugh, hearty, much like those belonging to Thom Rainer.

"I don't think I've ever experienced such an opportune occurrence but there will be time for questions later. I assume you know how to use that staff."

The leader gestured down to the weapon still in her shaking hand and she nodded.

"Good, the odds are a little more even now, aren't they?"

Both elvhen joined the fray of arrows and daggers, some archers having discarded their ranged weapon for something with more bite. Kana cast her spells, glad to be able to fight back but fighting wasn't the only thing on her mind. She didn't want to waste any time in retrieving the orb. She need not leave it now.

The mage dodged through the figures, big and strong, small and lithe, retracing her steps but avoiding that particular patch of briars she'd run through. She blasted a Qunari on her trail and used another's weight to throw him to the ground. The sun had finally set and the night was setting in. Soon it would be too dark to fight. But that had never stopped conflict before.

Kana finally reached the downed tree and jammed her hand into the hollow, searching for the orb. She felt the odd metal on her finger tips but a battle cry from her right took her attention before she could grab it. A warrior brought his greatsword down to imbed into the bark where Kana's body had just been. She moved to the left, rolling over the cooling ground, staff ready.

The man spat Qunari curses at her all the while trying to jerk his blade free. She didn't wait for him to complete the task, blasting him backwards into the brush. Returning to the tree, Kana peeled off the outer wood and finally grasped the orb. Relief flooded her veins but as she turned to go, a hand caught her leg, forcing her forward into the dirt. The orb rolled out of her reach and she twisted to see the warrior. Kana used her free foot to kick his head but he refused to let go, a dagger gleaming in his other hand. It seemed her spell hadn't finished him off.

She was about to blast him again when the shaft of an arrow pierced his skull, silencing his grunts forever. Kana's leg was released and she scooted back, away from the corpse as the archers appeared out of the trees, eyes still scanning the area. A few gave her suspicious looks, especially when they turned to their leader, who had picked up the fallen orb.

He looked it over, studying the markings, then shifted his studious gaze to Kana's petrified face. He tossed it up in one hand like a ball. She didn't know how much any of them knew about such artifacts but she decided to go ahead and push it.

"There's no magic left in it but I'd like it back all the same." Her eye brows furrowed together as she stood, waiting for the man's response. His own eyes seemed to transform from soft to dark, searching her face.

The man spoke but it was not something Kana understood, completely in ancient elvhen. She kept her face passive while contemplating how to answer. The Sentinel's around her tensed, a few even raised their weapons.

The man spoke again, this time in modern elvhen so she could understand.

"Not many have knowledge of what you carry. Either you are one of them…or you know. So…tell me…"

He uttered the phrase again and suddenly a response came from her mouth, ancient elvhen. She tried to mask the surprise on her face. The Vir'Abelasan retreated back again, away from the surface. Kana looked up at the leader, hoping they'd told him what he wanted to hear. It must have been another pass phrase, like the one at the fortress she'd found traveling the Crossroads.

His mouth slowly turned upwards into a sly smile. He tossed the orb to her and Kana caught it easily. The others seemed to relax.

"Well met...and just where did you get something like that, girl?"

Kana swallowed, her throat parched and aching, and looked down at the object in her arms before looking back up. She pursued her mouth, unsure how to answer.

"It's a long story." She finally admitted, eyes moving to glance at a few more rogues coming from the trees, blades bloody and bows sprung. They reminded her of a wolf pack, each with their own job and volition. How very fitting.

"I'd like to hear it on the way to safety...that is unless you'd rather stay out here, alone, in this forest."

She shook her head.

"Come then, it is good to welcome one of the People."

…

There was no need for Kana to look for Revas. He came back on his own, standing outside her borrowed tent the next morning, a welcome muzzle, and she was glad to have her saddle bags back, having collected everything strewn across the forest floor and stored it in one giant sack the archers had offered. She'd slept curled around the orb, lest something else happen to it. Kana wrapped it once again and carefully placed it in one of the bags.

The leader of the party, who had introduced himself as Adris, had many questions for Kana the night before but she'd kept much to herself, hoping it would suffice to say that she intended to join Fen'Harel's cause and that she hoped the orb would be a welcome offer. Kana hadn't even told them her real name.

But what could she really say? That she was in love with their ancient rebel leader? She didn't know where they were going or how much standing Adris had within Solas' forces. Kana hadn't actually thought about what to do when she found him. There were so many unknowns that it made her head hurt. The Vir'Abelasan was thankfully being quiet…for now. There was a growing fear inside her. If they could use her voice, what else could they do?

As the group traveled, Kana had felt guilty for riding Revas while the archers walked but the elves were spry and kept pace and she was glad, still not fully recovered from her shameful use of blood magic. It was no wonder the magisters had slaves by the dozen. The thought made her stomach curl.

Revas seemed to match his gait to their's. She caught Adris eyeing the hart on more than one occasion.

"He is a magnificent beast. Anyone would be proud to be chosen as a rider." Kana knew what he meant, that the hart would only be ridden upon his own permission. She felt proud and rubbed the side of Revas' neck.

"His name is Revas." She said and Adris' amber head nodded. He kept pace with the hart easily as he was very tall. In the day light Kana had discovered him to have light hair, graying on the side and kind eyes. All the archers, a group of fifteen, sixteen now with her included, wore the same style of scout armor. Adris wore a wrapped cloak of dark green to distinguish himself from the paler hues of his soldiers.

It seemed that Morrigan _had_ put Kana on the right path. It was only dumb luck that she ended up right in the way of a Qunari raiding party.

"We'd been tracking them for three days. Their captain, the one named Garsiv, doesn't like the fact that we've retaken our forest." Adris had told her as they'd headed further into the trees after the fight, not wanting to camp anywhere near a battle scene. Now they were headed east. Kana had ended up close to the western edge of the forest, were the Tal-Vashoth were more numerous.

They traveled for three days and each day, while the archer's apprehension towards their guest decreased, Kana's anticipation increased. Uncertainty swirled in her stomach at the thought of seeing Solas again. Kana swallowed hard, her fist bunching in Revas' fur. Not understanding her worry, Adris spoke again.

"It is a fitting name. Especially for a cause such as our own, Nandi." It was Kana who nodded then. She almost flinched at the use of her mother's name. She should have chosen a different one. She was sure, however, that if Solas was to be told her description, he would remember and instantly know it was her. Until then, Kana was content upon the lie. She hoped that her mother would understood.

It was another night and half a day before anything was seen on the horizon and when it was, Kana couldn't help but crane her head to get a better view. They were surprisingly nearing the _edge_ of the forest. She could see the White Spire Mountain (not to be confused with the Templar Tower in Val Royeaux) in the distance, shining and pale against the midday sun.

"We're headed towards the peak?" She asked, not understanding the location. Adris simply nodded, not willing to tell her much more than that...not yet.

"How many have gathered to join Fen'Harel?" Kana inquired, switching the subject. She assumed that all the elves present hadn't made the same journey she had.

"Thousands. Fen'Harel controls the…" Adris stopped mid-sentence and eyed Kana carefully.

"How much do you know about our cause, da'len." He said the word 'our' as if it pertained to her as well. There was something growing in her chest, hope, a hope for a better world for all elvhen. She was starting to see what that would be like.

"I know of Fen'Harel. I understand that he has an impressive system of transportation and communication…and I understand that there are many who would not see the elves restored." Adris' face grew slightly grave but then perked up a bit.

"So you know about the Eluvians." It wasn't so much a question but Kana confirmed his curiosity.

"I have…seen many things in my travels." It wasn't an all out lie but she didn't feel like revealing herself just yet. Adris chuckled at her response.

"And just how far could a Dalish hope to travel from her clan?" Kana didn't know how to react to his amusement. She had washed off the fake Vallaslin days ago. There was no reason to think she was Dalish except perhaps her robes. It could have been part of a disguise. Her mouth pouted.

"I may not be Dalish but I can recognize one who was from a mile away, they have this earth sense about them."

"Earth sense?" she asked, one of the first questions that sentence brought forth.

"I saw you in the woods. You are far more at home in the wilderness than any city elf. Take Tanna over there, you can see how jumpy she is." Kana did indeed look and conceded that Adris was right but that was not all that Kana wanted to know.

"What do you mean by 'was'? I'm still Dalish, even without clan or blood-writing."

Adris shook his head and stared up at her.

"Judging by your lack of Vallaslin, I'd say you weren't Dalish anymore. You are old enough to be considered an adult, a Keeper even, with your magical skills."

Adris paused in his speech.

"You must have met him."

Kana's face flushed and she looked away.

"Who?" she asked rather bitterly, bitterly enough that Adris knew not to continue that particular line of conversation. He had his suspicious though.

"No one, then."

He said with a knowing smile but Kana ignored him. Adris kept talking.

"Anyway, it really doesn't matter where we come from. We are _all_ Elvhen." The last statement was spoken outwardly, allowing the group to hear. They turned to their leader with nods and smiles.

The group grew quiet as they approached the edge of the forest, the trees disappearing into plain and scrub. On the horizon sat the White Spire peak.

Kana felted exposed, in the large space, even going so far as to dismount Revas. It wouldn't take too long to reach the mountain.

She thought about what Adris had said, the idea of a single race. Among the Dalish it had always been 'us' and 'them', which she'd never liked. Now it was just 'us'. She wondered how many elvhen had tried for unity, Dalish or otherwise. They had all failed. Solas had succeeded.

The mountain came closer as their feet ate the changed terrain. Gone were most of the trees, a few stragglers remained, bold and solitary amongst the scrub. There were more growths near the edge, where the peak met the ground. Gradually they began to travel upward, stone replacing dirt.

Kana remounted Revas, putting her trust in his sure footing. She was glad to have him. While the archers made the climb with perfect knowledge of poise, she wasn't sure if her strength would have kept up.

"Where are we going?" She asked again, after meeting Adris at the top of a slope. The man smiled.

"You'll see soon enough." His eyes drifted to his right, along the pathway and Kana's gaze followed him. There, carved it the stone was an artwork, a relief, elvhen in origin. She couldn't examine it long but as they continued to climb the path more and more stone works stuck out at her.

"This road was once well traveled. The Great Forest once spread from where it is now all the way up to Rivain. Impressive, isn't it? Even in its age." Adris mused, waving a hand through the air to point out to the mountain above. There was something above them, carved into the cliff but she couldn't quiet see it. It made her head hurt and it seemed she was the only one feeling frustrated. Judging by the others' behavior that they were getting close; both shoulders and strides were relaxing, the threat of an attack decreasing with every step. Even the Vir'Abelasan was stirring, like they had at the Temple. This place must have been familiar to at least some of them.

Continuing along the mountain side, Kana looked out over the ground far below, at the forest now in the distance. The road was quite peaceful. The only thing that bothered her was that everything was so still, as if revered.

Just as suddenly as if had started, the path ended...but it ended with a sheer face of rock. Kana pulled Revas to a stop but the others kept going until...

One by one, some looking back at her, the archers disappeared through the stone. Magic, it was an illusion spell.

"You may want to dismount to take him through." Adris said next to her and Kana did as he suggested, taking hold of his reins and trying to relay the information that he wasn't going to run into the stone. Adris, rather courteously, took her empty right arm in his.

"Allow me to escort you inside."

The two headed to where Kana expected the door to be and walked through. She closed her eyes for the barest of moments. Adris did not let her go and she was relieved when Revas, although gingerly, followed.

Once they were through the doorway, air kissed Kana's face but it wasn't the damp, musty air of the Deep Roads or any other cave. It was cool and filled with sunshine.

"Open your eyes." Adris coaxed and when she did, her mouth nearly hit the ground.

Adris chuckled at her reaction, ushering her forward into a courtyard.

"Welcome to Arlathan."


	13. Chapter 13

**Disclaimer: I don't own Dragon Age.**

 **...**

Chapter 13:

Kana had never seen anything so beautiful. Before her rose a city. This was no mountain. The layout reminded Kana of fancy cakes she'd seen in storefront windows, with layers going higher and higher. Around the bottom were buildings and other structures, houses. What was most amazing was the sun light. The top of the White Spire was non-existent and the spout was quite large. Mirrors upon mirrors covered the outer walls, reflecting the light to the floors, buildings, gardens, _fields_ under the opening. Below the city rested a lake, overlaid with bridges and boats for getting around.

Where they had entered was a marvel. Directly before them lay a bridge, guarded by two statues, that would allow them over to the bottom layer of the cake. Kana left Adris' side to peer over the edge. There was indeed water but the water fell over even further, creating a circular water wall. She could only image where the water came from or where it went.

Kana would have thought this a dwarven city if not for the upper opening and the surprising amount of trees. The stone and the outer walls of the peak were hardly at the forefront. There were hanging gardens everywhere and...

She wracked her brain for Solas' precise words:

 _"Imagine instead spires of crystal twining through the branches, palaces floating among the clouds."_

This place _was_ once among the clouds. As the tiers continued up there was definite damage, stairs left crumbling and other indicators that the top hadn't always been the top. Kana wondered how much of its marvel had broken with the drawing of the Veil. How high had the city gone? Solas hadn't been lying. This had been the seat of the Elvhen Empire. Kana tried to imagine other cities, settlements within the actual forest. She was on her knees before Adris finally spoke again.

"The Evanuris would not touch this place. This was the inner city, the heart of Elvehnan. The outer city wasn't so lucky. It is recorded how Arlathan was razed and destroyed, how the forest was burned. Only part of it was. The part where most of the People lived. These inner workings were not for the lower class."

It was then that the dream shattered. What she'd been marveling over seconds ago shifted into something cruel and gluttonous. This was not the city of Arlathan. Despite its scale, despite the fact that not everyone in Val Royeax and Denerim combined could fill it up, despite its beauty, this place was poison. It was here that only the aristocracy dwelled. It was here that their infighting started. Of course this was the only place untouched.

Part of her, the part that was dazzled and awed by the architecture, real elvhen architecture, would always love this place. The other part of her wanted to finish what was started outside. She wanted to raze it to the ground.

Now that the initial shock was over, Kana studied the ancient city further. She could see the cracks, the places where the trees had become unruly and ravenous, breaking apart crystal and stone alike. This place was a tomb.

"Welcome to my home." Adris said in equal parts pride and resentment. She didn't dare tell him how her emotions had changed so drastically in the past few seconds. Instead, she focused on what he'd said.

"Your home?" She asked, turning to look at him. Possibilities floated through her mind at the suggestion but she didn't think it was possible. No. Adris looked much older than Solas, with a hint of grey in his amber hair.

"I honestly cannot believe the ignorance of those who claim to wish to keep our traditions and customs alive." The man sighed and began walking, Kana on his arm, Revas following behind. She wondered where everyone was.

"This city was sacked, razed, and burned to the ground but that did not stop our people from living here. We are no longer immortal but enough of our true history was passed down to understand the basic concepts. Even Fen'Harel himself was surprised to learn of our tenacity, of the city's survival." Kana smiled, imaging the look on Solas' face. She could only fathom what that would feel like, finally finding people that would believe him. Maybe that's why he'd disliked Dalish so much, when he was aware of how far they had actually drifted from the past. It made her wonder why he even bothered with her.

"Where is everyone?" She asked before her thoughts turned sour.

"Further in. Most don't come to the Edge."

…

Adris watched the emotion play over his new found friend's face as he led her forward. She seemed to want to drink it in, every last drop, but there was the understanding there that few had. This place was also reminiscent of darkness and what power could do to a person.

There had been outsiders, elves who'd come north from Antiva, west from Rivain but most came east from Tevinter. Nowadays there were more and more being brought to the ancient capital, all through the Eluvians that had sat vacant and disused in the Hall of Mirrors for years. All of them were slow to believe in what was said, the truth of their ancestors. He'd seen the suffering in their eyes and been able to pick apart the lies behind them.

The city had been suffering, the magic barriers of their outposts under even greater attack by the Qunari who claimed that this was their domain, who claimed to own the forest. Adris felt sorrow for them. Even after recognizing their bondage and parting from it, they were still enslaved to one way of thinking.

Adris knew that the girl had lied. Nandi, if that was actually her name wasn't just some Dalish. There was wisdom in her eyes, and pain. She'd seen things, he knew, things that only drifted into his darkness nightmares. He'd seen the same looked before. The first time he'd met Fen'Harel.

Adris had been leading the defense of their further most outpost. There were no gods, no kings our queens in the city but a council, like the pantheon but with real People who earned their place of power. It was not divinity that gave it, but just action. Adris had been chosen as Marshal, to defend the city. It was a post he held with pride.

"Drive them back!" He shouted, pulling his bow string once more, hearing the tell-tale sound of an arrow leaving his weapon and hitting its mark. His people were resilient, but so were these Tal-Vashoth and they kept coming. It was his forces who were being driven back.

And then he came, out of the forest like a wolf, Dread in his eyes, Pride in his heart, staff in his hand. With the stranger's help they were able to push back the attack. Adris would never forget the relief and happiness in that man's eyes as when he'd been told that there were still People who inhabited the ancient city. It had taken a while, but once Solas was confident in their beliefs, once he was sure they would understand, he'd revealed himself as the Dread Wolf.

Many were shocked and horrified, still clinging to the old tales spread by those who wanted him harmed. But Adris knew that he spoke the truth and had respected and followed him ever since, even after he'd disappeared for all those months only to come back a little more broken inside.

But the worst was barely passed. Solas had gone out, using the Crossroads and had come back in such a sorrowful state that it was up to Adris to get him thoroughly drunk. It was only then that the Wolf told him where he was all that time. He told him of what happened to disrupt the world so, of the Inquisition, and of a certain Dalish woman whom he'd presumed to be dead because of his own making. Solas had changed after that, turning to stone and steel. His actions were direct and his word was final. It was a week later that the letter came. Adris hadn't meant to snoop but the reaction garnered from the Dread Wolf was so immediate. He'd read the message, detailing the whereabouts of an ex-Inquisitor with only one arm.

She'd wrapped the tear well enough but Adris had seen the magic coming from below the armor on her left arm. The skin underneath was violet and glowing, swirling. Her Vallaslin, a clear indication that her chains had been removed, was gone and she had the same lost look in her blue eyes that wandered around the city but never settled onto a single thing. He knew it was her. The only thing Solas had neglected to tell him was her name.

There was only one way to see if his assumption was right. He would take her to him.

Adris would take her to Fen'Harel.

…

Kana kept pace with Adris as they walked across the first bridge, but her eyes drifted over the edge to the darkness below. She recalled the underground sea her party had discovered while getting to the bottom of the earthquakes, literally. She wondered if Valta was down there anywhere, still.

That mystery wasn't the only on her mind. The Vir'Abelasan was pressing against her thoughts, her eyes as if trying to control her gaze. She tried to humor them, looking where they wanted, not being able to imagine the torture of being conscious without self guidance. Even spirits and demons could control their actions.

"Have you heard of the Sentinels, ancient immortal elvhen who still guard the old temples?" She asked, wanting to see if the man knew anything about them…or the Vir'Abelasan itself, or if there were other cities, other settlements. How blind was the world outside, truly? Adris laughed. It seemed he always did that, as if she was a child learning to walk for the first time. The noise, and the noise from the water, wasn't unpleasant but it grated over her exhausted nerves.

They reached the island city in the middle of the lake and met the first People, a stable boy who took Revas to gladly get his earned rest. Kana studied the boy. He looked like any other of the elvhen she'd seen. He stared at her too and it was only then that she became of her appearance. She brushed back her wild hair. She caught Adris looking at her.

"I'm sorry not to give you any time but there's something I'd like to show you before getting settled in. Also, to answer your question, that would be a yes. It seems your Inquisition caused quite a stir at the Temple of Mythal." More annoyed than surprised Kana glared at him.

"How did you know that too?" With a knowing smile, Adris looked down at her left arm. The wrapping was coming undone.

"Lets just say I know a lot more about you than you'd probably be comfortable with." Kana didn't doubt his words. What with all the refugees coming to join Fen'Harel, they must carry with them the wildest tales.

"Oh? And did you hear the one about how I am seven feet tall and actually _eat_ demons?" Kana snorted, repeating some of the babble the soldiers used to say. She'd heard worse from the Orlesian nobility.

"Were the rumors that bad? I guess that is what happens when you're placed so high up that others can't really see you." This man reminded Kana of Sera but she also had the feeling that he wasn't exactly talking about her.

"How well do you know Fen'Harel?" The question was innocent but Kana's words stumbled over themselves. She was nearly beside herself with anticipation, fear, every emotion she could think of. She felt like she was going to vomit. Adris didn't know about her relationship with his master and she wanted to keep it that way, stay hidden and find out where he was. She needed some time before going to him.

Adris lead her up and into what must have been the market and lower section of the city. This was a busy place. There were shopkeepers and people doing errands and cleaning windows. What stuck out most to Kana however was the freedom. There were no chains, no Vallaslin, no humans to bark orders and give blows. It was beautiful. Despite the city's past, despite the hatred and the blood, it had become something worthy again.

They kept walking and actually ended in the middle of the cake where the room was hollowed out and used for more stalls and tradesmen. The entire inside was coated in a mosaic, much like the kind at Mythal's Temple but each depicted a different part of the city.

They were directions. Ingenious. The tiles looked ancient and some were missing. Kana guessed that they were the original pieces.

In the center of the room however was another staircase that went all the way up through the layers but also continued dowards as well. Kana's first thought was that the ancient elves were genius'. The second was that she was glad to see a railing. The market, and probably sequential floors were too busy for there not to be one.

"Almost there" Adris spoke, going down first, feet descending the golden tiled steps. It seemed as if they were descending into some dark place as the further they went, the less light from above hit them.

He stopped at the base of a staircase and indicated to a brazier. Kana obliged him and used her magic to lit the level. Down at the base was another series of hallways with gates blocking them. The central one was open.

The man smiled and motioned forward with his hands. Passing a barred hallway and then entering into the open one, Kana was moved to see that the walls were covered in Eluvians.

"This is another centralized way of transportation besides the Crossroads. Most of these are direct in their paths. Many haven't been used for millennia and no one has been brave enough to enter the ones closest to the back. There is still much to do."

Kana nodded, keeping quiet. She was afraid all her questions would slur out at once if she opened her mouth to speak.

Kana looked at each mirror they passed separately. Many were indeed broken and a few gave off eerie magic that made her arm tingle. Her excitement was insurmountable she didn't know where he was taking her but she didn't care. This was amazing. How vast had this empire truly been? She couldn't fathom it at the moment.

They passed at least a dozen Eluvians before Adris stopped.

The man couldn't wait to see what would happen. He had a little trickster in him himself. It was almost noon. Perfect timing to catch the Wolf off guard.

"Here, we're to go through this one." The man motioned to the Eluvian in front of him. Kana stood before it feeling small. She'd been feeling small a lot lately, between the giant Qunari and the giant elvhen palace.

All of these mirrors were a lot smaller than the one at Mythal's Temple though. Kana was glad.

These, if broken would be much easier to fix. Unlike her racing heart.


	14. Chapter 14

**Disclaimer: I don't own Dragon Age.**

 **...**

Chapter 14:

As soon as she'd passed through the mirror, Kana knew where she was. It was impossible for her not to know and she was angry…angry and confused and surprised all at the same time. She didn't know what to feel anymore, she was full to bursting of emotions.

"Skyhold?" She questioned, as Adris came behind her through the Eluvian. He simply shrugged, eyes crinkling, wrapped cape bunching around his shoulders.

"Why not? This was his fortress." Kana was finished with shock. Nothing surprised her anymore, it only humbled her. Solas had led them here, led _her_ here, to his home, knowing that once they were there it wouldn't be his anymore. Kana was trying hard to decide whether Fen'Harel was the most selfish or selfless man she'd ever know.

"This was _my_ fortress." She added to the end of Adris' statement but it wasn't a correction, simply a reminder. The sentence made the man smile as if he knew something she didn't.

"Well, I'm sure you'll feel right at home then. Come." But Kana's feet wouldn't move, the humor wasted on her.

She stayed still, muscles locked.

"Is he here?" She asked, hands clenching her robes, throat tightening.

Her eyes, Adris saw, had finally settled into place, gazing at the floor below her feet. She knew where they were, in the bastion connected to the tavern, the Herald's Rest. Kana wondered what it had originally been named. If they went right, they'd find Cullen's old tower. To the left was the mage's tower, the garden. Kana didn't want to move. For the first time in her life, she didn't want to be at Skyhold, didn't want to walk down the stairs, across the yard, up another flight, the flight she'd been dubbed Inquisitor on, and through those giant, magnificent doors.

What had he done to her, this man she loved. She was terrified to see him, not because of who he was but because of who he was to _her_.

Adris witnessed the struggle going on in the girl's head and remained quiet. He understood her hesitation, her fear. He'd lost his own wife only five years ago and with a son and two daughters to care for, Adris recognized the paralyzing weight of actions upon the elvhen woman before him. In many ways she was still just a girl, a child, gazing into nothing and hoping that someone would reach out and grab her hand.

That is what he did, pulling her along to the right. He wouldn't make her go through the tavern but instead down the stone steps and across the yard. There were a few people going about their business but nothing out of the ordinary. They all assumed she was some new recruit. A few even smiled, proud to have another among them. Kana couldn't breathe.

But her anxiety didn't stop her from looking around. Everything related to the Inquisition, the banners, the symbols all of it was replaced by elvhen ones. The colors ranged from green to light blue and vibrant golds. One thing Kana did pick up on was that as her eyes traveled upwards, so did the heraldry disappear. They were smart, these warriors. They did not boast their colors from the ramparts for fear of detection. Anyone outside Skyhold would see it as bare and empty. They would not see the force thriving within it.

Adris pulled her up the steps until they stood in front of the double oak doors. They were closed. Why were they closed? Adris nudged her forward and Kana inhaled deeply. She had battled demons, monsters, dragons, had destroyed two would-be gods and was cursed by another.

She could certainly stand to face down one more.

…

Solas reclined back in his chair listening to the reports of the day, one after the other, the line in front of him growing by the second, more and more they came, all pouring in to ask their questions, to make their demands. He would answer them best he could without confusion and see to any requests made. His was an empire made of the freed, freed from chains, bondage, a destroyed past. He would give them whatever they wanted. He would give them a new world. He would give them his life.

The man on the throne pressed a hand to his forehead but quickly scolded himself. He couldn't show them the strain. It had been a long time since he'd been in a position of power, of influence. Solas thought back to Kana, how she had sat in the same spot, albeit on a different kind of throne with a different kind of weight, and judged those before her. She had had a tougher time than he was having.

So Solas sat back up at attention, ready for the next person or report.

Then the doors opened.

...

The Great Hall was much the same as it had always been. The only difference was the change in decor, much like the outside. Josephine had thought to place statues and furniture Free Marcher in appearance in Kana's throne room to show her background. It was only because she wouldn't pick Ferelden or Orlais decoration for fear the other nation would be offended. Kana had always hated the dark bird statues that glared at her like a meal. This was much pleasanter.

Gone were the statues, replaced with Eluvians and other things Kana could only imagine were ancient elvhen art. The walls were no longer bare but showed decorative murals that she didn't doubt Solas had painted himself. Kana almost laughed, wondering what would have happened if the artist hadn't resigned himself to the Rotunda alone. The curtains, the curtains were still there, green and gold and covered in leaves.

Then there were the People. They filled the hall, obscuring her view of the end of the room and one thing that she noticed was how they acted, how they were dressed. She'd seen it back in the ancient capital, how no one was afraid or weary or wary. No one was dressed in rags but in sturdy clothes and Kana imagined what this would be like. This wasn't Arlathan or Elvehnan, Tevinter, or Orlais, this was Fen'Harel's kingdom. This was how he wanted, wished things to be, his vision of a new world, one of equality for all people. Music and dancing and freedom, freedom so sweet she could taste it on her tongue, a life-time of prejudice washed away.

Adris retreated to the background, leaning back against the wall next to the fire place, as Kana began to walk forward, the wonder apparent on her face. The Marshall was abnormally tall for an elf and could gaze clearly over the other heads in the room. He could see perfectly fine from where he was.

…

At first, there was no change; someone had simply come through the front door. It was eventually and appropriately shut to keep out the mountain chill and Solas went back to his work.

Then the crowd began to part and he froze as if by magic, an invisible spell linked from his chest to someone he never thought to see again. She wasn't supposed to be here. She wasn't supposed to be _alive_. But nothing had stopped her. Kana Lavellan had always been stronger…even stronger than him.

…

She marched down the hall like she was in full armor, polished and blazing in the brazier light. She imagined her hair was immaculate, her face clean. Her armor was dented, torn, and burned in places and she knew that she hadn't had a bath in more than a week but she kept her head high as she walked. Kana ignored the eyes around her, the whispers. There would always be eyes, those who didn't approve, even among her own but that had never stopped her before. Her hands bunched in her robes as she walked, shaking. Kana promised herself she wasn't going to cry but she couldn't help it. As soon as she saw him, her tears fell, but they weren't of sadness or joy. They just were.

…

Kana stood before him a complete mess. She wore Keeper robes of all things, but whatever she'd been through hadn't been very gentle on the garments. They were burned, torn, her hands bunched in them like she always did when she was nervous. Solas recalled a moment at the Winter Palace when the ambassador had fussed over the wrinkles she'd made in her formal wear. Her chocolate hair was shorn to her chin and he found himself upset by the change.

Kana was somewhere between tears of joy and tears of anger. She was so beautiful.

He kept his face passive. She would have broken right there on the floor if he would have smiled.

…

Solas sat on a throne covered in fur, in the same spot that Kana's throne once sat. Behind him rested a wolf statue, so detailed that it could have been alive, its head staring off into the distance behind her, much like any other Fen'Harel statue she'd seen. In the back of her mind she scoffed. He wanted to be "one of the People" but here he sat above them like the arrogant man he actually was. She had paused at the bottom, before the throne. Those who had been talking were silent. It seemed the only sound in the room was her hurried breaths and her racing heart.

Solas was absolutely regal. Gone was the armor she'd last seen him wearing but it wasn't replaced by anything less deserving. He was draped in robes of gold and green, and she mused that these must be his colors, true elvhen colors, _their_ colors. The same wolf pelt was over his right shoulder though. She wanted to bury her sobbing face there, where his arm met his body. Kana took a step forward then another until she was standing before him.

Her vehnan.

…

Solas stood to meet her but her eyes remained down. Her hands tried to smooth down her robes, as if she was trying to wipe them clean. They were feet apart. She still didn't look up at him. It was miserable, standing like this, as if an ocean separated them instead of air. Not once did he glance to those around them but he knew they were there, watching. Is this what it had felt like as the Inquisitor? The constant fear of judgment? It made him sick to think about it...but even so... _she_ had loved him anyway, as he was, a simplistic, nomadic, apostate, neither Dalish nor city elf. A man who belonged to no one but a people long since desecrated...until he'd met her.

…

Kana kept her breathing in tight, hurried gasps, here she was, finally before him, no anchor, no Beach, no ancient darkspawn and yet she couldn't lift her eyes. They were so heavy, so full of tears that she couldn't help her gaze dragging. The Vir'Abelasan said nothing but they were there, judging, watching her too.

…

Adris waited for something to happen, anything. He couldn't stand it any longer. Neither could the rest of the hall.

…

Solas gazed at the top of her head. This woman, he'd brought so low before him. His own throat began to close but he couldn't, they couldn't, not here in from of all these people, all these eyes. But he wanted to. He wanted to so badly. He wanted to grab her mouth and possess it, feel that tangled mess of hair between his fingers. Take her somewhere far away and just take her.

But his own convictions were coming back to drown him. It couldn't last. She would die, if not tomorrow then thirty, forty years down the road when her bones were brittle and her hair was gray. Would she still be alive then? Would his actions kill her?

 _"It would be kinder in the long run..."_

Unable to do anything else. Solas lifted his hand and put it on her shoulder. It was the only comfort he would allow himself to have or to give.

 _"...but losing you would..."_

…

His hand was suddenly there, holding her shoulder, her left shoulder, the one marred and scarred and now shaking uncontrollably. But it was in one touch, in that one moment that she knew. She hadn't dared look at his face yet but she knew. He still cared. And now she needed to do something. She had caused this scene. Now she needed a way out of it.

Kana could only think of one thing that would be appropriate, that would save them both. Josephine, she thought, would be proud of her. Perhaps even Vivienne.

…

She took a step back and his hand fell from her shoulder. Kana's head was still down but suddenly it jerked up and that look was in her eyes, the one he had known and memorized and loved. He knew it was coming and he wasn't mad. It brought him peace in a way, this small retribution from her.

…

Kana moved in a single second, snapping her head up and then putting her full weight behind her right arm, her right bare hand. He didn't move, didn't even flinch as her hand, fingers spread, came across his cheek with a self righteous "smack", echoing through the hall. And then she spoke, her voice loud, clear, and confident despite her turbulent emotions, hands coming to rest on her hips, chest lifted.

"Bastard, you stole my castle!"

…

It was then, in the aftermath of that smack, of the release in emotion and even of magic, that Adris bowed his head and grinned at his boots. He would go home to his children and remember that moment for the rest of his life. He'd seen what he'd set out to accomplish and didn't feel guilty about it at all.

His friend, Fen'Harel, Solas, the immortal and incorruptible Dread Wolf, had stood before that girl, in all her burning glory, and smiled for the first time since he'd left her.


	15. Chapter 15

**Disclaimer: I don't own Dragon Age.**

 **...**

Chapter 15:

It was then, standing before the man she loved that Kana Lavellan broke. Her mouth began to quiver and her tears continued to pour, clouding her vision, the room, and Solas. His head was still tilted to the side, her hand print now firmly visible in red. But his eyes, they looked down at her, from the corners. She couldn't read him but it wasn't like she'd ever truly been able to before.

The longer she looked, the longer he stared, and the longer they stood, Kana retreated back into herself. She saw how she must seem to him. This was his kingdom, his pride, and she was just a child before it, before him. He'd been alive long before her great grandparents were even a thought. Why? Their times before, during the Inquisition were not lies; they were simple, soft, filled with glancing gazes and quiet words. She remembered how she'd first kissed him. He'd grabbed her arm and pulled her back. Was that a lie? It…it had to be. There was no other explanation that wanted to fit between the crease in her now knitted eyebrows. He used her, he must have. That was all it could have been.

Kana straightened herself out and glared at Solas – no – Fen'Harel. Her face hardened as her anger only heightened. The whispers were suddenly there, bleeding into her mind.

" _He must be stopped. The Evanuris must not be freed."_

The blood in her veins pumped violently, heating her skin. Kana felt them stirring the magic within her. She could change his mind and that would be it…all it would take is…

A shiver went up Kana's spine, chilling her to the bone until every hair on her body was raised.

These were not her thoughts. The anger turned to shock and Kana took a step back prompting Solas to move towards her, a hand almost reaching out. He said nothing but his eyes softened. He was concerned.

" _Do it. It's the only way."_

Her left arm began to shake, the magic there, convulsing through the appendage. The Vir'Abelasan was trying to take control of the appendage. Kana didn't know it to be possible but stranger things had happen. She'd heard the story of Anders, of Wynne, how spirits had merged with them into the waking world. She had never thought of herself as possessed before and it scared her, more than she was willing to admit. Anders had destroyed the Chantry of Kirkwall, starting the mage rebellion, killing everyone inside, all under the influence of Justice, or rather Vengeance, according to Varric's book. Kana, however, was inhabited by hundreds of souls. If the power of one could do so much damage how much could the many accomplish if they so desired.

A fact, clear as day, hit her square in the chest. She was an abomination, something perverted in nature. Kana had thought Solas' apprehension towards the Well concerning but never had she considered the fact that she was no longer herself, no longer in control of her own thoughts, mind, and body. They'd made her use blood magic, something against her convictions so easily. She'd underestimated these ancient elvhen and now they were trying to make her do something else she'd never forgive herself for. Solas, either. This was a bad idea. How long until she was destroying everything she loved with her own two hands? She needed to leave…she needed to…

…

Kana took another step back, her face contorting with something Solas didn't recognize. He straightened his gaze, cheek still burning. There must have been a little fire magic behind that swing, he thought. And that's when she moved, so suddenly that he didn't have time to reach out and grab her.

Kana fade-stepped the length of the Great Hall, shoving open the doors on her way out.

The eyes that followed her came to rest back upon their leader, back upon Solas, still frozen where he stood. His hackles were raised. She had traveled so far, gone through so much, only to shame him in front of his followers and then…leave?

The crowd parted before him as he walked towards the doors, still ajar, the mountain wind blowing through them. There would be whispers, suspicions. He didn't care.

It was then that his eyes fell on someone who looked as surprised as Solas felt. He approached Adris, eyes narrowing and the man's face told all. The Marshall could be so meddlesome.

"This was your doing." It was not a question. Adris, for the first time in a long time, didn't know how to react. He was satisfied that the girl was exactly who and what he thought she was but her retreat puzzled him. There was something else wrong here. But the man didn't have time to think about that. He had a wolf at his throat.

"Which pathway did you use?"

It was only then that Adris smirked. He'd never seen his friend in such a state, the angry desperation dripping off his words like water. No matter what had happened between the couple, Adris knew he had to help. He would give the girl a head start before her vehnan came running.

"What's her name?" The sly elf asked coolly, crossing strong arms across his chest. He may have been getting along in years but he was still as fit as any new recruit off the refugee wagon. He was Marshal for a reason but this game was dangerous. They were not in Arlathan and despite his prowess, he faced someone stronger than him.

Solas, whose face had been close enough to feel his words, took a step back and scoffed, pacing like a wild dog. Adris almost couldn't believe the effect the girl had on his friend. Did she even know?

Solas pressed a fist to his mouth as if to chew it off rather than answer the Marshal's question. The man before him, who was deliberately pulling his strings, liked to pretend he was the elder despite Fen'Harel's lengthy life. He saw no other way of getting what he wanted without delay.

"Kana," Solas mumbled, loud enough only for Adris' ears. The two were still in Skyhold, the Great Hall no less. Elves could be immaculate listeners. He didn't want them to find out about her, his one soft spot, his one demise. He needed to be strong, be a leader, but then he reminded himself how much of a hypocrite he was being. Kana had been Inquisitor, the fate of Thedas in the palm of her left hand and she had still loved him. This was maddening. He didn't have to go after her but after that display, she left him no choice. The news would spread through his ranks, his followers and so his enemies would hear as well. Solas was not going to take that chance of putting Kana Lavellan in danger again.

But his course was still set; he could not go back on his resolve for fear of losing it entirely.

He would find her and send her away. He was not about to pull his love into another war, another conflict, that she might not live through. He wouldn't be able to bear it. He could hardly stand to think of the possibility of someone else he cared about dying. That's why he'd decided not to care. But in the end, that hadn't worked out like he wanted it to either.

Adris was about to give Solas the trade he'd promised when another elvhen man approached, one from his archer division.

"Marshall! There's news from the southern entrance. The Qunari have bolstered for another attack. An initial force has been sent through the Gate for a counter attack."

Adris' face dropped considerably. Kana had probably gone back to the ancient capital. If she was _really_ bent on leaving, she'd exit the mountain the same way she'd entered but the destination had been switched, allowing for their troops to counteract the attack.

The Gate wouldn't take her to the base of the peak but straight into the fray of another battle.

"What about that girl? Did she pass you?" Adris asked and the scout nodded his head, eyes drifting to anywhere other than the man standing next to the Marshal. The Marshal turned back to Solas but Fen'Harel wasn't listening anymore. He shoved Adris aside and the scout moved before he could do the same to him. As they stormed across the yard, an elvhen apprentice went to hand Solas his staff but the man refused it.

Adris swallowed hard, and took it himself, pulling his bow from his back with the other hand. His chest constricted in fear for their enemies. They were going to experience pain. They were going to experience terror.

They were about to encounter the Wolf.

…

Noise was what had attracted her attention to southern area of the forest. Morrigan circled the trees below, black wings raking through the air like leaves. Her bird's eye view gave her a perfect perspective of the battle raging under her.

Elves and Qunari were fighting through the brush, the pines. Morrigan had participated in her share of conflict during her time with Katrin and the others but never had they faced either of these forces. The Tal-Vashoth were monsters and it was no wonder that the members of the Qun told horror stories about them. They were large, sending their entire bodies into the swing of an axe or great sword. Spear throwers were just as deadly at a distance and Morrigan noticed more than one of their weapons had penetrated entire tree trunks.

The elves were just as deadly. What the Qunari had in brute strength, the elvhen warriors had in speed and agility. Often they were able to dodge the oncoming attacks and retaliate with precise and deadly blows. The battle was almost a privilege to watch.

She'd been keeping tabs on the Tal-Vashoth, making sure they stayed away from her cabin but the elves…she hadn't had as much luck with and now, if most survived this confrontation, she could follow them back to wherever they'd come from.

But where was that, she wondered? There had been no hide nor hair of Lavellan since the witch had sent her into the forest. She'd meant to track her steps but some kind of scuffle had occurred and she'd lost the trail. The elves were clever and skilled at hiding themselves.

Morrigan flew higher, where the air was thin and it took more of her strength to keep airborne. She could see the barest outline of the coast and to the east, the White Spire. The mountain was like a pile of sugar sprinkled on a flat surface, the very top thin and reaching the clouds. Could that be where they were hiding? She shoved the thought aside. Elves didn't live underground but then again, the ruins in the Brecillian Forest were not dwarven or Tevinter. The witch let the possibility stay in the back of her mind.

The battle below her was maddening. She was grateful that there weren't any mages among the Tal-Vashoth and that the elves were not using magic either. She didn't want the forest to burn around them.

Morrigan was about to leave, to head back and observe at a greater distance, when there was a commotion directly under her. The witch looked down to see Lavellan astride her rearing hart, the beast pawing the air with its front hooves. She was frustrated now. There was no way that she wouldn't have seen her riding among the warring parties. There was some magic at work here, something she'd missed.

The witch flew lower, as low as she dared with the firing of arrows and the banging of metal, to get a better view of Lavellan. The girl was shaken and even from a distance Morrigan could see the surprise in her eyes. She hadn't known that she'd end up in the middle of the battle. As soon as the elvhen woman gained her composure however, Morrigan could see another fight happening behind her eyes, one that intrigued her. Lavellan had seen Fen'Harel. That would be the only thing upsetting enough for the Vir'Abelasan to reveal their cards so soon. The witch would have smirked if she could. Despite their wisdom and knowledge, careful planning and patience were not something the Well possessed.

The elvhen woman, astride her hart, staff in hand, didn't have much time to question her new found surroundings as the warriors had taken note of her appearance. The hart's front landed with a thumb back onto the ground and Lavellan quickly turned the beast around to go back the way she'd come but all Morrigan could see behind her was a large gap in between boulders that towered up near the trees. There was nothing there but Lavellan seemed to think there was, urging her mount forward. She didn't reach her destination as a Qunari came at her from the side, backing the hart against another area of stone. The elvhen warriors were quick to her aid but the hart was spooked and bolted forward, out of Lavellan's control, taking her further into the fray. Morrigan lost sight of her.

But then something happened to the forest, to the area where Lavellan had tried to go back to. The air seemed to ripple like water but the picture was still as crisp as glass. Morrigan watched as reinforcements appeared out of thin air.

"Forward," the first of man shouted, pulling a bow from across his back. She'd seen him before, out with patrols, wondering the forest. He seemed to be a leader if not a general and was mounted on another hart. But it was not the amber haired man that captured Morrigan's attention; it was the man she recognized at his side. Solas, the presumably peaceful elvhen scholar whom she'd argued with at the Temple walked beside the archer. He seemed older, in spirit more than appearance, than last she'd seen him, and he wore a new kind of expression on his face. Gone was the white mask. It was replaced by a dark emotion that Morrigan couldn't quite decide upon, mixed between rage, terror, and a full other assortment of unpleasant emotions. She would have shivered if she wasn't a bird.

There was no doubting it and the witch cursed herself for not seeing it before. This was Fen'Harel. Gone was the docile countenance. The man before her was a killer, a hunter…and he planned to destroy the world.

"Drive them back!"

This command was heard and carried by every soldier as their own numbers finally accumulated behind him. His eyes searched the trees and Morrigan was certain that she knew who he was looking for. She let the wind carry her higher, to get a better view. She perched lazily on a branch, her eyes momentarily diverted from Fen'Harel.

Then the smell of magic, deep and powerful filled her nose and she turned her attention to the source. All those gathered had moved away or moved around to accommodate the change, some wary and fearful. The man named Solas was gone. In his place stood a great wolf, larger than any wolf she'd seen before. White fur coated its muscled body but something wasn't right. This couldn't be him, the legendary Dread Wolf. It was then that Morrigan saw it, a wraith of an outline lingering in the mist around the creature. Yes it was him. The witch could see the shadow that was soon chased away. Fen'Harel was impressive as a white wolf but Morrigan knew that there was a darker one hidden beneath that exterior, a power that rivaled Mythal's dragon form.

Morrigan pondered on how to use this to her advantage.

She could see the monster there, right below the surface.

She would find a way to make it come out…then she would destroy them both, man and beast.


	16. Chapter 16

**Disclaimer: I don't own Dragon Age.**

 **...**

Chapter 16:

Kana grasped for Revas' reins, trying to get the hart back under control. All around her raged conflict as brutal as any she'd ever seen. Every blow, every movement was to bring forth death, to bring demise. She fumbled with her staff, held tightly in her left hand, and began to cast with her right, summoning ice and force magic. Her spectral blade hilt was attached to her belt and as soon as any enemy came to close, she whisked it out with unrelenting magic, the yellow-green light slicing at armor and flesh. Although effective, her magic only made her a target among the group of warriors.

A spear barer, big as Iron Bull, rammed into Revas, sending the hart down and Kana with him. She was able to get her left leg out of the stirrup before the hart's weight crushed the appendage. Kana didn't intent to lose anymore body parts. Revas kicked and screamed and it was then that she noticed part of his carefully cared for rack had broken off, the points broken on the ground. It was a shame but she didn't have time to think about that at the moment. Shoving her fingers under the hart, Kana pushed up with all her might, hoping to get him back onto his feet. He kicked and screamed at the nearest attacker before ending up back on all fours. The beast was terrified and Kana didn't want to have to worry about him anymore. As before, she hit him on the rump, hard, making him bolt for the trees.

Staff in hand, now she could worry about helping out the elvhen warriors. It was strange. She'd fought for peace, for Thedas, for her friends, for the innocent. Never had she really fought to protect her home. Fighting and killing human bandits as a child and more later as an adult didn't count. A clan was migratory, never settling in one place. Skyhold was as close to a home as Kana had ever considered. Now it seemed she was fighting for a home, a cause, a people, her People. If she was to die, this would be the way she wanted it to be.

Kana set about her work, casting immolate at the nearest Tal-Vashoth, cringing slightly as his fur armor caught fire. Despite it being one of her strongest elements, fire was still something that bothered her. She was efficient, picking them off one by one and a few of the elvhen warriors came to her defense numerous times, archers positioned themselves around her, keeping every enemy just a hair's breadth away.

Suddenly, a crack of lightning lit the forest, spiting the tree next to Kana right up the middle with a smoky _snick_. She rolled forward and those around her scattered as the tree trunk fell apart, each piece going to either side of her. A figure appeared, one foot resting on the newly created stump, smoke floating above it. She recognized the man. It was the only called Garsiv.

He looked down at her with clear disgust, a gnarled staff in his hand. She hadn't realized before that _he_ was the mage. Kana knew what the Qun did to their mages: cut off their horns, collared them like dogs, like less than dogs, but he showed none of these characteristics. He must have been born in the forest or very near close, not under the Qun.

"I grow tired of your interference, She-Elf." He walked forward, stepping over the still smoldering remnants of tree. Kana scooted backwards, pine needles ranking her hands until she felt something else. The fragment from Revas' own set of horns lay behind her. Garsiv continued forward and Kana gathered her strength as he raised his staff, she only had one shot. Launching herself forward, she shoved the broken end into the Qunari's leg. He howled in pain, and caught her maneuver, the back of his palm coming against her face. The world spun and Kana lost her grip on her staff. Garsiv glowered over her, trying to remove the antler, his face venom-like. He…

A howl sang through the trees, so deep and dark that the shiver set Kana's spine straight and her hair on edge. Both she and her enemy turned their gaze to the left, towards the path she'd come from. More elves had appeared in the forest, forming a circular row of soldiers that pressed forward like a wave. But they were not what had made the sound. Before them was a giant white wolf and the breath caught in Kana's throat. Her People told stories of a large black beast with red eyes and jagged teeth, a monster. There was nothing monstrous about Fen'Harel except for his sheer size, as large as Revas was tall, and thicker. Kana wondered how that fur would feel under her fingers. He hadn't caught sight of her yet.

Before Garsiv could react, Kana pushed herself from the ground, spectral blade in her left hand striking upwards, her staff coming from the side. He blocked both blows, faster than she anticipated, even with his injury, and pushed her back against a tree. She skirted around it before his blow could come, in the shape of the blade at the end of his staff. It plunged into the wood where it stuck. She was going to attack but the Qunari blasted a column of fire into the tree tops above them. The trees began to burn, their branches cracking and crashing to the ground. Kana took deep breaths, trying to calm herself. It was just fire, but the falling debris was going to crush a nearby archer. Abandoning her quarry, she ran in the direction of the elvhen fighter who had yet to see the danger. Kana collided with him just in time as the wood hit the forest floor. Reckless, she thought. The Qunari mage had now freed his staff of the pine, and was heading towards them now, blasting fire. He would burn the forest to the ground. Kana put up a barrier, a bubble of protection. She would kill him.

She would kill him, and then face her vehnan.

…

Solas let the scent of battle wash over him; he could tell where every single person was in general location, tendrils of smell wafting like ribbons through the world. Adris was gathered at the back with his archers, barking orders where he, in his white wolf form, could not. The Qunari would not win today.

His powerful jaws clamped around an arm before tearing it off, leaving the wounded shouting in pain and rage before his teeth closed around somewhere far more lethal. He was not a monster; he would not let even his enemies suffer unduly. These _Qunari_ were beasts, slaughtering everything they laid their eyes on whether they needed the food, the leather, the safety or not. It was disgusting, against many of his principles. They were wasteful, ungrateful, of the freedom they'd come to acquire by leaving the Qun. Under any circumstance, he would have offered to help them but no more. Too long had they plagued his land.

His maw was dyed in their blood.

…

Kana held the barrier as Garsiv beat down upon it. Her spectral blade was lost already in the struggle and Kana hoped she'd be able to locate it later. Out of the corner of her eye, she caught sight of Solas and her chest constricted. She'd seen him fight before, the unassuming elvhen mage, but compared to now, his previous style held more than strategy.

Solas moved through the enemies, interchanging between his wolf and mage form, one second he was ripping out the throat of a Tal-Vashoth, the next he was once again elvhen and projecting rift magic. It was amazing to watch. _He_ was amazing to watch. This was how the Dread Wolf fought. Kana wondered how hard it must have been, having to hide that power and fight next to her inner circle 'normally'. He seemed so at home in the carnage and it made her heart ache for him.

Momentarily distracted, Garsiv used the opportunity to call forth one of his warriors, doubling the damage being absorbed by her barrier. The force was tremendous and sent Kana down to one knee. She knew she couldn't last like this forever.

…

Where? Where was it? He was trying to find her, to locate her scent. The hart had run off away from the battle but he didn't think Kana would have willingly left those in need of her help. The fight was taking place in between a series of large boulders. They obscured his vision. He nor his forces could tell how many were still fighting or who was still in trouble. Solas backtracked, switching between magic and fangs until he found the disconnect. He found the trail then, breathing in her fear and anxiety until he could see her through the trees, holding back the Tal-Vashoth leader with a large barrier…but the barrier was crumbling, flitting out of existence before being jerked back though, into the waking world. He ran quickly, feet turning into paws.

He wouldn't be satisfied until he had his fangs around Garsiv' throat.

…

The barrier went down and it took all of Kana's strength to push her left hand up to block the next blow. The contact between her magical appendage and the warrior's greatsword sent violet sparks into the air around it, creating a flash that distracted her enemies long enough for her to move farther away. If her left arm had still been skin, the metal would have absolutely been imbedded into flesh. Instead, the steel twisted and crunched. The protection was about done and the mail underneath hung from its remnants.

There was no need to hide it anymore, she jerked the twisted metal off and refocused her attention. She could tell that the realization of the extent of her power to her enemies was intimidating. She smirked at them, feeling the lyrium in the band and in her staff thrum.

Garsiv, she saw, had his attention now focused elsewhere but the warrior, at least four heads taller than she with horns nearly that same length, still advanced, not in the least fearful of her strange arm. Kana was a mage. She was not equipped to deal with enemies of this caliber and a hard knot had formed in her throat.

The Qunari swung and Kana ducked, the blade severing a few strands of her hair right above her face. If time had been slowed, she was certain she would have been able to see her reflection in the polished metal. Taking her staff in both hands, Kana cracked it down into the earth, radiating ice from below her enemy until his feet where frozen in place. He was too busy trying to free himself to see Kana wipe her staff back up and come into contact with the underside of his chin. She could physically hear the crack of bone as his jaws was shut with the force. The man stumbled back, tripping free of the ice, one hand going to his mouth. He spat something out onto the ground, bloody and pink. Kana nearly vomited at the sight and her blood chilled with the rage that came out of his flooding mouth.

He charged at her with due speed, shoving his shoulder into her stomach and then into a tree. She jerked her neck to the side not wanting one of his massive horns to run into her face, but a meaty fist wrapped around her throat and squeezed. She locked her gaze with the Tal-Vashoth, his teeth dyed red from blood. Kana could tell that he wanted to see the life ebb from her eye as her face turned the same color as her arm. She struggled and thrashed against the tree bark and Kana made a choice. She dropped her staff so as to grasp the Qunari's wrist, using fire magic to burn his skin. It seemed her death was more important to him than a few burns. Her blue eyes darted back and forth, scanning the trees, looking for Solas.

And she saw him…right before his fangs encompassed the warrior's throat.


	17. Chapter 17

**Disclaimer: I don't own Dragon Age.**

...

Chapter 17:

Kana fell, the grip on her throat gone and braced herself on bent legs, catching against the tree, the bark running against her armor. Her throat was on fire, head swimming as the blood began to flow and regulate through the rest of her body. She'd had some close calls but nothing ever that serious before, discounting her initial encounter with Corypheus at the Conclave. If Divine Justinia hadn't broken free and knocked the foci from the magister's grasp…

She needed to fight, to get her staff but as soon as she took a step forward, the world swam and her eyes went momentarily black. Kana fell again, hands coming against something thick and soft. Her fingers bunched into Solas' fur and she pressed her face against his strong body. He smelled of earth and wolf, a combination that she'd never been able to place before now. She was not ashamed. It all felt...familiar somehow.

Solas froze where he was, bloody maw lifting up from the warrior's corpse to scan the area for any immediate danger. Despite the battle raging around them, they had a moment, stolen from time. He felt her on his shoulder, leaning into him entirely unafraid, her face disappearing in the space where his front left leg connected to his body. He felt her breathing, shaking, legs barely keeping her up. He almost hadn't gotten to her in time. His blood was boiling but he couldn't move, couldn't take this little bit of comfort from her, the woman he loved. Her gasping breaths finally began settling in her lungs but still she stood, her fingers kneaded in his fur as if his body was the only thing holding her onto the earth. She was greedy: her left hand reaching up to wrap around the underside of his neck, around his chest. He turned his head to her then. Kana's eyes were closed and only half of her face was visible against his hide. Then they opened, both pairs of blue meeting, a winter lake and clean-cut sapphires. There was a sense of clarity in her gaze, something that held his own for longer than necessary.

He knew she wouldn't run from him again.

Kana felt his breath on her face; saw the blood on his snout. He was studying her, even as his body was poised to run, to hunt, to kill the next attacker. She pulled her left hand back into her body before moving it upwards to stroke his ear. The wolf before her leaned into that hand, a rumbling emanating from his throat, primeval and savage.

Solas thought his instincts maddening. He shifted on his legs but this only seemed to make her hold on tighter and press her face in further. Kana inhaled deeply and, for the life of him, for the wolf in him, he wanted nothing more than let her stay there, safe against his side. He made himself a promise then. No matter what was to come, no matter what he had to do, Kana Lavellan would stay alive, safe…even if he had to take away her memories of him to do it.

Then a blast of lightening shattered their dream.

Solas' transformation pushed her back a few steps but in seconds he was before her again, placing her staff back gingerly into her steadying hands. He wore his armor now, golden and intimidating to everyone but her. It fit him very well.

"We must drive them off before…" Kana would have groveled if only he'd been allowed to finish that sentence but with his second in command defeated, blood cooling and pooling on the forest floor, Garsiv's attention was brought back to the two mages that were spoiling his advances.

He'd caught them off guard with the lighting but now they both faced him. But that was not the only direction magic was coming from. Solas grabbed and pulled Kana out of the way, a hand wrapping around her waist, as another bolt of lightning came from the trees behind them.

There was another mage.

His arm lingered there, on the space between her hips and rib cage a little too long for simple concern but Kana didn't mind. She wouldn't have minded anything he did to her.

Garsiv and this new mage began their volley of attacks, the latter stepping out of the forest.

 _Sarabas_ , Kana thought. His horns were cut but anything else restrictive was gone. She could see the scars, like dots, along the ridges of his mouth. It was sickening. Kana was glad that he'd been relieved of his suffering. Not so much that the man had decided to attack her in his freedom.

"Back to back" Solas suggested and that arm flung her around and she accompanied the movement with a few quick steps. Both were at the ready, their shoulders pressed against one another. It was then she noticed that Solas didn't carry a staff. He hadn't had one with him during the Exalted Council either. He didn't needed one, and for a moment she wondered at his power. He'd turned all those Qunari to stone. If the stories where at least half-true, she could only imagine at the power of the Evanuris. Now, knees and elbows bent, his hands remained down, palms parallel to the ground, emanating his ancient magic. How much effort had gone into hiding it from her and the Inquisition?

Garsiv let out a barrage which Solas easily blocked, one hand coming up to dispel the magic, Kana leaning into his weight. They were standing so that they both could see the pair of enemies so she was able to do the same as the Sarabas attacked. In battle at least, they trusted each other completely. Her thoughts drifted back to the Inquisition. How many times had they done this, fought as a single entity?

 _Hundreds_.

It was as natural as breathing and it set something alight in both their hearts, their bodies, this pure familiarity. No one else in the world…

The Sarabas attacked again with another raze of electricity and Kana used her staff as a conductor, catching and easily deflected the magic towards Garsiv. Solas went on the offensive and formed his rift magic into a concentrated mass, shooting it forwards into the Sarabas' broad and bare chest. It exploded there, catapulting the man backwards a few feet.

The fight continued around the pair of mages, the warriors and rogues of both sides too concerned with their own well being to get involved, besides, with the appearance of their leader and extra soldiers, the elves had gained the upper hand, rallied, pushing the Tal-Vashoth back.

Out of the corner of her eye, Kana caught sight of Adris directing his men, poised and confidant. He was indeed a Marshal.

Solas and she weaved in and out of each other like water, their attacks breaking down their enemies like waves upon the rocky cliffs, their magic intertwining. Neither could deny their compatibility in battle and if asked, neither would be willing to tell the truth when discussing the urge to find out their compatibility in other areas as well. Kana's skin tingled and she wondered if Solas felt it too, this effect. As she maneuvered around him to use her staff to block a spear, the force pushed her into his chest. Hands came to grip her arms, his body taking her weight before returning to the fray.

The battle was going poorly for the Qunari and Garsiv realized this too late, after he'd lost more of his forces than was ideal. He wanted to kill them, the two elvhen before him, but it would not be during this skirmish. The She-Elf…she meant something to the Trespasser.

Breaking off from the attacks, he pulled a horn from his belt and blew it. As commanded, the Qunari forces began to retreat, Garsiv and the Sarabas included. A wall of ice was erected to make sure they could not be immediately followed. That didn't stop Solas.

"Go find Adris." He commanded before transforming and leaping over the wall. Kana snorted as the sound of paws rumbled after the enemy.

She was not going to let him leave her behind again, even if she would just get in the way, even if he didn't need her help.

Kana raced after Solas and Garsiv, sprinting through the trees, after having shattered the ice wall.

"Kana!" Adris called out as she passed, barely missing to grasp her arm. She looked back at the Marshall, not stopping in her movement and shook her head.

"I have to go after him."

Adris said nothing, knowing that he couldn't and wouldn't stop her. He went back to reorganizing his troops, attending the wounded. He would leave Garsiv to the two mages.

Running from the battle field, Kana pressed a hand to her lips and whistled through her finger, not stopping in her trek. Seconds later, Revas ran up alongside her. She slung herself up into the saddle without breaking her pace, urging him on with a tap on his flank with her staff.

Kana didn't dare call out for Solas but now, atop Revas, she had an easier view. It was not hard to find a white wolf and an angry Qunari.

…

Garsiv and Solas circled each other in the clearing, the wolf's fang dripped red while the Qunari's face was hard as stone. Their showdown had been a long time coming. The Tal-Vashoth was waiting now, waiting for his bait to be taken.

The Dread One snapped and snarled at him but was pushed back by a blast of magic.

The elf was a Trespasser.

Solas easily avoided Garsiv' magic and quickly transformed back into a man, letting loose his own barrage of lighting from his hands. He followed it with fire. They were in a clearing now. He wasn't afraid of setting the entire forest aflame.

The elvhen rebel wanted nothing more than end this fight, to cripple the Tal-Vashoth forces but his ancient magic was waning. He didn't have the mana to turn the man to stone as he had so many others. Even the transformations into a wolf were slowing, taking more from him. He would have to fight this mage fairly. Any thought of mercy, any blessing Solas would have given Garsiv if only he'd surrender was gone. This was not a matter for debate any longer. He must die. He was a threat to the People, his plans. He was a threat to Kana.

The Qunari was a monster.

Neither was willingly to submit.

…

Kana rode Revas into the clearing, jerking back on his reins just as she caught sight of the two rulers in their deadly game, each trying to outsmart the other. With Garsiv's brute strength and Solas' agility, they were evenly matched. What it would come down to would be wit.

Garsiv' eyes fell on Kana as she approached and he grinned. That was when she knew she'd made a mistake. She'd followed right into trap.

Garsiv shoved Solas away with a single swipe of his staff and fade-stepped towards her, crossing half the distance. Before she could think, before she could move, Solas transformed, his powerful legs eating up the grassy glen to try and get to her before the enemy. Garsiv stopped short and sent forth his magic…but Solas dashed forward, before the blast of energy could get anywhere near his beloved. The lightning passed through his body and singed the fur around the initial strike. In the back of his mind, past the pain, he heard Kana yell from behind him, a desperate, sorrowful sound, as he tumbled to the ground. He was momentarily paralyzed, paws twitching with the last little bit of electricity. He saw the Qunari leering above him, raising his staff above his head, the blade sharp and true with its intentions. Solas struggled harder to get over the spell's effects but in the back of his mind…he felt fear.

What would happen if he died? Who would lead his cause, who would help the People?

 _Kana_.

Kana would…and she would do a better job than he'd ever done. It surprised him…just how tired he was, body and soul.

The staff came down and he growled, snicking his fangs, defiant to the end, but something solid leapt over his body, placing herself before the blade, shielding him. In that moment, every bitter memory, every loss, sadness, regret, anger, surfaced to the forefront of his mind and Fen'Harel used every last bit of his strength to launch his maw upward, gripping the staff with his teeth.

He heard Kana cry and his bite became a _snap_ as his jaw easily closed over the wood. His vehnan fell back onto his side, the blade buried in her right thigh. He'd shifted it enough that it hadn't killed her but he couldn't discern how bad the injury was. If the artery had been severed…

Kana was not yet out of danger and he still couldn't yet move.

Now weaponless and acknowledging Adris' approaching forces, Garsiv retreated into the trees, leaving his enemies to bleed, to water the glen with their blood. He was oddly satisfied despite the crippling loss his soldier had endured.

 _Yes_ , he thought. The She-Elf meant much to the Trespasser…more than his own life.


	18. Chapter 18

**Disclaimer: I don't own Dragon Age.**

...

Chapter 18:

Kana gripped the area above the injury. The blade had missed its mark, landing just above her knee. She'd twisted the staff so it didn't break into her bone. That was the only saving grace. It hurt like nothing else she'd experienced before except maybe when the anchor had tried to kill her. The blade had cut through the thin chain mail and the surrounding links were turning red.

She could hear Adris in the distance, yelling and commanding, in much the same way Cullen had. They would come soon. Garsiv and his forces had disappeared further into the forest. Her blood was pooling under her. Solas' fur was covered in the red substance, not her's specifically though.

Kana fell back against his tensed body, her right arm jerking out to grab his fur. She hoped she wasn't hurting him with her grip but the pain…

It had struggled behind her eyes, the Vir'Abelasan. She was not their slave but she had used ever last inch of her own will to leap over and take the blow meant for him, for Fen'Harel. It was just more proof of how her control was fraying. She was an abomination.

Kana's throat ached from where the Tal-Vashoth had choked her and the feeling intensified due to her gasping breaths. Pain did weird thing to people. Now firmly on the ground, Kana released Solas' hide and, with a shaking hand, reached out to grasp the chuck of wood protruding from her thigh. A snarl left her lips at the barest touch and she bit her lip from crying out further, tears, for the second time that day, burning her eyes but for an all different purpose.

Kana switched hands, the right now holding above the wound, the left to embed itself closer to Solas' head. The spell would wear off in a few minutes and she knew he'd probably want to berate her for saving his life. Wasn't that what happened when people were in love though. If he'd ever doubted her before…

She slunk further down, back arching over his neck and her eyes drifted to his again, settling. He was whining, whimpering and it was then that she realized the agony in her own breathing. She tried to shush herself, at least to keep him calm.

"I'm alright, I'm alright, I'm alright." Kana didn't know if she believed herself. She was so tired. She couldn't remember the last time she'd gotten a full and peaceful night's sleep. Kana couldn't remember the last time she'd been unconscious due to her own volition. It was a frightening but humorous thought.

She let her head fall back, her chocolate hair blending in with Solas' white fur. His legs began to twitch, to struggle. Wouldn't be long now. Hoof beats in the distance, coming closer and closer, maybe if she just shut her eyes.

Solas felt her slipping, her consciousness bleeding out through that wound. The spell was wearing off now maybe if he…

The change seemed to wake her up. Without his body to support her back and head, she fell and the jump made her leg move. Kana cried out between clenched teeth as strong arms took hold of her torso from the left and laid her gently back into the grass.

Kana expected him to start yelling but truthfully, Solas didn't know what to say. She'd saved his life. There had been precious few who'd ever done it, on purpose at least, and they were all gone now. In the times of ancient Arlathan, when elders could sleep their immortal years away in Uthenera, no one ever died of natural causes. It was usually an accident when it happened…or murder. Such acts of heroism, of preventing the extinguishing of a life, were of the greatest debts anyone could ever owe to someone else.

"You saved my life." He said, leaning over her and her mouth uplifted, even as her eye lids drifted down.

"I'm nowhere close to being even with _you_." Kana always seemed to find the humor in a situation but it made him wonder at what she considered in 'having saved her life'. He couldn't count any...maybe one, but she wouldn't know of that incident. It seemed the other way around, how she was always in danger because of him and, to Solas at least, this was the greater of the debts.

"I need to assess this." He said, as if anything she had to say would have stopped him from removing his leather gloves and straightening out her leg as well as her could without the underside, the tip of the blade, touching the ground. Kana jerked when his elegant fingers pressed against her thigh…and it wasn't all so much because of the injury there. One hand dug into the earth, the other had reached up to grip his arm.

Solas felt around her leg. The blade had bitten straight through, the tip poking out grisly. If it had been an arrow, the removal would have been easy, snap the shaft and pull each piece out. Garsiv's blade was jagged and rough, the metal still visible above the initial puncture. He could not so easily break metal. She needed a proper surgeon for this.

Kana sat up on her elbows then used his shoulder to haul herself the rest of the way.

"It needs a tourniquet." She said before gripping the leg, above the injury with both hands. Solas let her go and ripped a part of his cloak.

"Here, move your hands." Kana shook her head, sweat making hair stick to her face which was becoming paler by the second. And so he went higher to tie the cloth. It was only then that he realized what she'd been doing. Force magic…she was using force magic as a tourniquet. Kana had always impressed him with her resourcefulness. She let go of the magic, one hand drifting back to his shoulder. Any effort, any magic, was draining and Kana knew she would need her strength to fight this injury.

Solas' fingers were steady as he worked, ripping more from his cloak to try and brace the wound. The shaft was still attached to the blade; he needed to break more of it off.

He turned to her and their eyes met. Kana saw his intentions and nodded, letting him know that she was ready. This was going to hurt.

Fen'Harel braced the blade while his other hand gripped the shaft. Burning through it would take too much time. All was needed was a little…

If Adris hadn't known where they were…he would know now. Her scream was pure, undiluted, her face, her beautiful face, was twisted. The spasm that when through her body was powerful enough to arch her back and he had to catch her before she fell back again, his arm going about her waist, his shoulder catching her own. Solas discarded the shaft and allowed her to breathe, her body in rivets, chest rising and falling, tears pouring down her face.

He was the cause of them again.

She sobbed in his arms.

It could have been minutes, it could have been hours, but Solas settled himself down next to her in the grass, fully taking her weight while Kana recovered herself. She'd closed her eyes, sinking into him. He turned his head to the woods where the last sounds of battle were slowly ebbing away. He needed to get her back to Arlathan, to Skyhold even, he…

Kana's right hand traveled upwards, graceful as a song, timid and shaking as a summer breeze. It connected with the left side of his face, fingers trailing along his cheek. His gaze instantly returned to the woman in his arms. Her eyes were cracked now, breath coming from parted lips. There was blood on those fingers but he didn't mind. It was her and he would have given anything to have any bit of her. Kana's thumb drifted across his chin, his mouth. He turned to kiss her palm, to nuzzle into it. He was betraying himself with every touch, every thought. As a wolf it was different, his instincts to protect his loved one farther at the front of his mind, stronger, harder to ignore. As a man, it should have been easier to hide it.

He was losing, the sight of her in such a state heartbreaking. He was mush, clay in her delicate fingers. She'd come to shape his life.

Kana's mouth began to move. It took effort to get the words out. In the end, what did come was his name – both of them.

"Fen'Harel…Solas." Her eyes were closing, but her brows knitted together as if she was puzzling about something. Her head fell into the tawny pelt wrapped around his right shoulder and he wiped hair from her forehead, fingering the strands. Adris was getting closer. He would hopefully have her hart. She would need to be rushed back to the capital, back to the gate.

"Everything's' dancing," she murmured, her bloody hand coming down across her eyes to stave off the blur in her gaze. There was no more time. They had to move.

He lifted her up, left arm cupping her legs as gently as he could until he stood. She leaned into him further as he took her weight, she was so tiny. Had she always been so small?

A sigh escaped her mouth almost as an amused chuckle. She didn't remember him being this strong but then again, she'd never seen him with less than three layers of clothing. She wondered if that was also a disguise of his, to make sure everyone was more comfortable thinking that the rugged apostate wasn't as competent on the physical side of things as he was the magical.

"You need to stay awake." _He_ needed her to. But then Kana began doing something extraordinary. She began humming, a slow melody that Solas recognized. It was the song that had been playing when he'd asked her to dance at the Winter Palace. He still remembered it. _She_ still remembered it.

" _Everything's dancing"_ – that was the connection. Was she thinking about that night?

The ball had been something of nostalgic for him and he'd even gone as far as to imagine all the guests with pointed ears. He'd slipped a little that night, flirted a little too deeply, wanted a little too much:

" _I do adore the heady blend of power, intrigue, danger, and sex that permeates these events."_

The Winter Palace had taken him back to Arlathan as it had been and just for a moment, there on the balcony, he was happy. He had imagined Kana there, that night, imagined her with him all those years ago before Mythal's murder, before the Veil. He'd imagined her in a dress, dancing traditional steps to the traditional music of an Empire long since crumbled. It was that moment that he'd realized how deeply he'd fallen in love with her and how much trouble it would put him in.

 _"Come, before the band stops playing. Dance with me."_ He retreated a step back, bowing low and offering up his gloved hand. A smile had crossed her face and the gestured was returned as Kana placed her hand within his.

 _"I'd love to."_ And there on the balcony, there had been nothing but them, waltzing, one dance that had transcended time, at least the basics of it. His free hand wrapped around her waist, her hand on his shoulder. But the band did stop, leaving them to stand and sway together. Kana had admitted to being tired and her eyes closed and she sank into his embrace. He'd held her against him, chin resting against the back of her neck, face buried in her hair. Cassandra had hesitated at the door before retrieving them and he was grateful for her romantic sensibilities.

Solas was basking in the guilt, the love, and the adoration of Kana Lavellan when she suddenly stopped the song, brows coming back down in contemplation.

"I don't know what to call you anymore." She was referring back to his names and he had to think about his answer. Walking back towards the tree line, he could see his People coming forth, staring at their leader carrying the newest addition to their cause. He would deal with the rumors later, after he'd dealt with Kana. She wouldn't be going anywhere on that leg.

Kana watched his mouth move as he replied, the left corner smeared with her blood. She wanted to wipe it away.

"Call me whatever eases your mind." He spoke, focusing his attention back onto her. There was no courteous smile, no polite nod, but a blank face hiding fear behind it. And then she said six short words.

"Can I still call you "vehnan"?" And with one final breath, as if that question was what she had been holding on to, she was gone, having slipped from the waking world; he shook her slightly, to bring her back. He had to keep her conscious. He was too afraid of the alternative. He was too afraid to answer her question.

He hoped she wouldn't remember asking it of him. He still couldn't. He had plans, things to accomplish…but deep down he knew his answer.

He just wasn't ready to admit it, either to her or to himself.


	19. Chapter 19

**Disclaimer: I don't own Dragon Age.**

...

Chapter 19:

Kana moved in and out, between the waking world and the Fade, like swimming, breaking the surface only to sink back down. She knew she needed to stay awake. _He_ kept telling her so.

Solas…she'd saved him. She had…

Kana hissed. As her consciousness returned, so did the pain in her thigh, radiating throughout her body with tense irritation. There were other areas as well, her neck and the side of her face where she'd been struck.

As Inquisitor, her party members always did their best to keep Kana from the middle of battle, allowing her to practice her craft in deadly range. The last time she was hurt so, cuts, bruises, a broken finger, a twisted ankle, had been after the destruction of Haven. But those injuries were common among the Dalish way of life. A wound cut completely through her thigh was a different story. Kana had already lost her left arm. She was afraid of losing the opposite leg.

"Shit," Kana mumbled…it was not the only obscenity to pass her lips. It seemed to amuse Solas – no – that laugh was Adris' laugh. They must have caught up to the Marshall. Cracking open her eyes, Kana saw they were still in the forest. She must not have been out long but with each breath, it became harder to stay awake.

"Quite a mouth she has on her, your heart." Above her, Solas didn't reprimand his friend on the use of a term too endearing to be used incorrectly. The corner of Kana's mouth twitched.

A glance passed between the two men, as the Marshall brought forth Revas, directing the beast to kneel so that Solas could place her on without disturbing her leg. The mount recognized him, and did as he was bidden. The display amused Adris but he felt guilty. This was not the time to pester the lovers about their complicated relationship. But he couldn't help himself.

"It looks like the Dread Wolf is taking her? Should I go summon some Keepers?" Adris smirked, thinking himself very funny.

"Ass," Solas replied, hoping that Kana was still too muddled in her mind to hear either of them properly.

Lying on the ground, the hart was still an impressive size. Solas walked over to its right side so he wouldn't have to maneuver Kana's injured leg over the saddle, just her left. He sat her on the beast's back and did thus, her hands going to knot into the hart's neck. She always did that, with her clothes, her mounts. She had done it to him. He remembered the feel of her fingers in his fur. She'd reminded him of a child who didn't want to let go of anything. He couldn't blame her of this habit. Kana had lost so much. He wasn't going to let her life be next.

Adris watched and marveled at the care his friend was using with the girl. Her eyes were barely open and he didn't doubt that she would have pitched over if Solas wasn't holding her shoulders. She was straddling more than the hart. She was losing too much blood. She was straddling life and death.

Solas placed his right foot in the stirrup and swung his leg over. It was only then that he realized the situation he'd put himself into. He was bent on getting Kana to a healer, one more skilled than he, but his mind blanked as her body pressed back and molded against his in the saddle. Her head tilted back into the hollow of his right shoulder, her forehead kissing the side of his neck, the fur wrapped there acting as an effective cushion against his armor. He swallowed hard before he could stop any reaction that would give Adris fuel for his teasing.

As a couple, before he'd left, before he'd been anyone other than 'Solas' to her, their interactions were stolen, chaste with few exceptions. He had never taken any advantage of her, hadn't done anything that she hadn't started herself. Now, as he took the reins in one hand, he channeled the fire in his stomach into the gaze that he was giving Adris. It seemed that Fen'Harel had met his match. He couldn't hide anything from the aged man.

"Go, I'll make sure everyone else makes it home." Solas nodded, a small movement. He didn't want to disturb her too much but Thedas help him, his free hand moved to her thigh as the hart stood and a small hiss escaped her mouth at the jostle, her breath sliding across his skin like a whisper. His hand came away red but it didn't return to his side, instead slipping around her middle, to hold her tighter to him. He'd left his gloves where they lay in the glen. He didn't care at all.

 _This is necessary_ , he told himself, _this is the fastest way_.

Kana relaxed against him, her hand trailing up to where his was on her waist. She was bleeding, fading in and out, but a small smile graced her mouth as she relaxed into Solas' form. Her head was swirling with more than just stars. The Vir'Abelasan valued the well being of their host. They would not ruin this moment for her now.

And through the trees they went, passing soldiers who moved out of the way. Solas refused to meet their gazes, their eyes. He would let them think what they would. Kana noticed, though, that her vehnan's hand tightened against her ribs. He was still tensed for attack, like steel encasing her back. They neared the portal and Solas, utilizing only his left leg, pressed against the hart's side.

The animal sped up, Revas seemingly sensing the urgency. There were…

Arrows! There were arrows buried in his neck, soaking his hide with blood, just as, she was sure, her leg was doing. Kana reached a hand forward to grasp the shafts, her upper body tilting forward slightly but Solas brought her back to him, arm on her waist curling up further, pressing on her collar.

"He will be fine. I will have someone tend to him as well."

"Thank you."

"You gratitude is misplaced." He said rather bitterly but Kana didn't really hear him. She was too busy watching the trees pass them by as the sun began to set. It was beautiful and she thought to herself that she wouldn't mind dying like this, in his arms.

She began to shiver against him and her head dropped lower. His breath, his heart, the entire world caught in his throat.

"Kana? Kana!" He hissed into her hair, into her ear, low and desperate. He couldn't believe the terror in his own voice.

But she was far away, drifting further and further.

He needed to hurry. He needed to pull her back. He would not let her die on him again.

…

Kana gasped. There was nothing in her world, nothing but pain and suffering and blood.

She didn't want it.

Red, it was everywhere, blurring her vision. It radiated from her leg like heat from a furnace. It came from her throat too, raw and unyielding, lungs coughing out sound like baying dogs.

"Hold her down; she'll only do more damage to herself otherwise." Kana jerked her head back and forth, her eyes finally forming faces above her. They were elvhen which meant she was safe. She was…

Kana searched for him but he wasn't there, she couldn't see him. Instead, there were others, two men and a woman that she could initially see. There were other hands though that didn't belong to them, trailing around her thigh. She'd been stabbed by Garsiv; she'd been cared and carried by…

"Solas" She eked out, trying to turn over onto her side but strong hands held her shoulder in place. And then her eyes stopped moving because she found him. He'd replaced the woman at her head.

"I'm here." He said and it sounded like an apology, filled with bitterness and unshed sorrow. His hands were on her shoulders but he wasn't sure how much comfort he could be right now. The surgeon was about to remove the blade.

"You, tell them I need more hands or this girl will lose her leg." The healer barked to the nearest nurse. Solas corroborated the order. None dared refuse him. Three more showed up before the doctor was satisfied, each pressing down on a different part of Kana's body, one for each appendage except for her injured leg. There were two there. She felt like she was buried alive, unable to move at all due to the force. Her arms…her arm…

Kana's head turned to the left to see nothing. They'd taken her band. Her left arm was gone. The realization, the loss of it hit her again and she whined. It was easy to forget that magic was just magic, that an arm was irreplaceable.

Solas didn't let his hand leave her shoulders but he moved his face into her line of sight.

"Your band is safe. They removed it, afraid that the magical strength would hurt them. " Kana couldn't argue with that logic but she tried to wiggle her fingers even so, with no result. He could see the melancholy on her face.

"It is a clever working. Dagna's?" Kana shuddered a nod. Solas had wanted to keep her under, unaware, at least until the blade was removed but the wound was already starting to fester. Any loss of consciousness was a dangerous risk and so he made her hold onto the waking world. He would suffer through the agony with her.

His thoughts distant, Solas hadn't been quick enough to stop Kana from lifting her head. What she saw almost made her sick. She hadn't really looked at it back in the glen. It was abnormal, an atrocity, and it was her leg all at the same time. Solas pressed against her forehead lightly, and she let the touch take her head back down, closing her eyes on the way. She thought back to how she'd lost her arm, how her friends had held her down. Hopefully she wasn't about to lose the opposite lower limb of the one already gone.

"It was Bull. He was the one that cut my arm." Her voice, strangled, dragging from her vocal cords like tree bark, brought his attention back to her. The information was a bitter pill but a small balm. He was glad that the inner circle had been there when he had not.

Solas moved around the side of the wooden slab in order to block Kana's view of the surgeon. The man was about to try and pull the blade out. The nurse holding Kana's right arm moved as he did and went to stand at the other end.

He took her hand and leaned over.

"Look at me." He said and Kana could tell it was coming, her body shivered and she swallowed hard. And then it came. There were no words to describe what she felt in that instance.

As her back convulsed, Solas pressed his weight into her chest, rubbing the knuckles of her hand with his fingers as they squeezed around his own. She could bare this, it would be over quickly. Kana pinched her eyes shut and he took this moment to look back at the surgeon and the others, all struggling against the force of her pain. It was half way out. The width of the blade was about as long as his pointer finger but that wasn't what worried him. There were clear signs of rust.

The surgeon nodded at him and Solas turned his gaze back to Kana. She stared at the ceiling.

"Look at _me_." He said again, pleading and she did. Her eyes would always find him.

"One more time." She nodded, her jaw locked in preparation.

The pain came and then it was less than it once was, softer and pooling. She was bleeding out again.

There was so much blood; it flowed down her leg and over the side of the table like crimson water.

Solas began chanting then, calling upon his ancient magic in his ancient language.

He would stop the bleeding, heal her blood…and he would do it with every last bit of strength that remained in his body. He owed Kana Lavellan his life. He wouldn't let her lose her's.


	20. Chapter 20

**Disclaimer: I don't own Dragon Age.**

...

Chapter 20:

Cole felt them the moment they entered Skyhold. It was hard not to, there was so much pain in them, between them, on them. They called the loudest and, as Compassion, he answered, leaving the city of tents to climb the stairs and intercept them in the gardens.

He hadn't wanted to draw attention by taking her through the yard. Who was _he_ again…?

Cole's head felt fuzzy as he walked nearer but he had to, they were in so much pain. He had to try and help…what was _her_ name again?

He recognized them, the feel of them but other than that there was nothing else. She had to do with a mirror, he with a wolf, and yet, nothing in his mind found the right path.

 _Crystal, glass, wanting, waiting, searching for someone who doesn't want to be found, wishing for someone who shouldn't find him._

Cole waited at the base of the stair case for them to come down. He was carrying her and she was in pain but it was mulled because he was carrying her. She didn't want him to let her go, to put her down.

 _Blood, wounded, aching, there's so much of it, it hurts but I have to stay awake, it's the only way I'll know if he's still there, then he was gone but replaced by water, clean after so long, layers of dirt, blue paint, nothing had ever felt so wonderful except…_

 _She's taken from him, out of his arms, his gaze, and he paces like a wolf around a wounded friend, more than a friend but he won't admit it, its still there inside his chest, beating, hurting, wishing._

' _I wish it could be different. I wish I wasn't Fen'Harel'._

A spark came back into Cole's mind as he read both of the elves before him. The man stopped at the base of the stairs and looked at him, knowing, hoping against hope.

"You may come." He whispered, voice tight, tired, tempting. Cole could tell that he'd meant what he said. The spirit blinked at Fen'Harel from under his floppy hat.

"She was never too heavy for you." Cole said but the man didn't stop as they trailed around the edge of the gardens and into the Great Hall. It wasn't as busy as before, when she'd come and slapped her love across his cheek. There was still a mark there, only visible in a certain light.

He would find it endearing later.

Cole trailed the two up to the tower and helped him lay her out on the bed. She'd been washed; her loose hair damp against the pillow, there was no more blue paint, no more blood, hidden under blankets. She was asleep now, finally back in a place that she knew, that once belonged to her. It belonged to them both but they didn't share. He sat on the side, head dropped into his hands, elbows on knees. There were other things too heavy for him. Cole didn't understand but he knew that this was not a moment to ask questions. This was not a moment for him.

"She saved you and you saved her but both still feel wrong apart. _White fur under her fingertips, so long since she's felt at home._ "

But then there was something else there, something below the surface that he finally picked up on.

They were stronger in her dreams.

"Little…bugs." Cole started but paused…his mind was going foggy again…what was he doing here?

The girl…he was to help watch the girl but the man didn't know what he truly needed to watch against…or rather whom.

The man stood up and went to his desk, her desk, their desk, and sat down in the arm chair. He could watch her from there and do some of his work. He could not neglect the People now.

He had to be a leader; he had to be stronger than this. He didn't want to face them right now.

Cole stayed on the edge of the bed and watched her sleep. Despite the work that needed doing, the paper on the desk, Fen'Harel watched as well, his eyes flickering up and down.

He read words at a time.

…

Garsiv stood among the wounded. There were few of them as the enemy didn't like to draw the warring out. They preferred quick clean kills. But that was weakness in the Tal-Vashoth's eyes. They would drive the Trespasser out of their forest but he just didn't know how yet. Their forces would need time to recover, to gather for the next attack. There were factions spread across the trees. Garsiv had to bide his time, plan carefully no more attacks simply to keep the elves on edge. More fled their old chains everyday but few wanted to stay under his command. The ones that did were invaluable but their numbers couldn't last attack after attack, not with the Dread One and his Kadan. The elves would need to recover their strength as well but everyday their numbers grew more and more. His small group would soon be out numbered. He would fight, his men would fight, they would not surrender…and eventually they would die. Nothing else in this life could be more glorious. Garsiv would burn the forest to the ground before their end though.

Suddenly, there was movement to his left. He was no longer alone in his tent. He reached for his staff, casting light throughout the tent except for one black corner.

"Show yourself and beg for your life."

"What if it was Fen'Harel begging for his life?" The cool voice drifted from the darkness like smoke. It was female, calculated, but it had gotten his attention. Garsiv lowered his weapon, indicating that he was allowing the woman to continue.

Morrigan walked from where she stood against the canvas and locked eyes with the Tal-Vashoth.

This was going to be too easy.

…

Cold…she was so cold…

 _The winds called from the high mountains, down into the valley where she struggled to walk, to push forward. Somewhere behind her, Haven's burning wreckage had been snuffed out by tons of falling snow. A perfectly placed trebuchet. The others, Varric, Cassandra, Solas, she hoped they'd made it far enough away in time to evade the avalanche. They'd gone with her to set the trap. She hoped they didn't die because of their bravery and her recklessness. Kana hoped_ she _didn't die because of it._

 _Her feet trudged through the snow, shallow when she'd first exited the cave system and the mark had glowed, casting a sickening green on the white around her. It was light at least. There were no stars, no moon, nothing but snow and clouds and wind. She didn't want to get lost in the dark but knew that it would be nearly impossible to find help. She could have ended up on the other side of the mountain from the path that Roderick described. She could be miles from help. She was going to freeze in the snow._

 _Her fire magic did her no good, every time she tried to radiate outwards, to keep the chill from her skin, the blistering weather drained every ounce of it. She needed to keep going at least to the trees. She couldn't let herself fall here._

 _Then there was something in the wind. It smelled of smoke and she quickly trudged to an old fire pit but the embers were cold. Was this the right way? How long had the fall kept her unconscious? Her shoulder ached. Kana hoped it wasn't dislocated._

 _She made it to the trees and began walking through them, on the outskirts. They blocked some of the wind but not enough of it. Her teeth chattered in her skull and her body shivered with every movement. Kana had to kept going, she was the only one who could close rifts, who had a chance at defeating Corypheus. She would do it now, be their Herald, if only to save all of Thedas. She would make that sacrifice, for her friends, for her People. Her thoughts drifted to Cole, to Sera, to Solas. She envied them, their freedom. They would never have to bear the weight she would have to._

 _The snow was getting thicker now. Her strides shorter and shorter but she'd come across another trail marker, if that was what the debris was. Maybe she was almost there, her leg…_

Cold…I'm cold and my leg…

 _Her foot sunk deeper into a bank, sending her whole body forward, crashing into the snow. She gripped the powdery substance but her strength was gone. If she didn't get up soon it would cover her like a blanket…a blanket…_

A new weight settled on her body, thick and woolen and she snuggled down beneath it to where only her eyes showed. But there had been no blankets in the memory.

It was only now that she remembered…and she knew.

It had been _him_.

 _Something large and warm suddenly plopped down beside her in the snow, a thin layer of white already covering her clothes. She shivered and opened her eyes. There was nothing there but upon further inspection what she saw made her heart start pumping faster. It was a wolf, stark white, larger than she'd ever seen before. Kana had expected to freeze to death…being eaten was a whole other situation._

 _She scooted back, away from the beast that's head reached to her own when she was standing straight up. A scream rose in her throat but the winter wind sucked it away before it left her lungs. But the wolf didn't move. It just looked at her with blue eyes. Then it stood, lazily, gracefully, and it moved as if it had all the time in the world._

 _It circled her and Kana dared not move. She waited, closed her eyes and resigned herself to death but what she felt was far more puzzling. The beast had moved around to her back and began to push her, its head going under the crook of her arm. Its sense of urgency was increasing and, when she didn't do what it wanted, the wolf growled at her, a deep rumbling in its throat. That got her on her feet._

 _Kana bent down to grab her staff, not once taking her eyes off the wolf. She didn't know what it wanted, but she'd prefer to have some kind of defense should it attack her. But that's not what it did. It started walking away, its giant paws creating large tracks in the landscape. She didn't move. Wolves were taboo, disliked, hated even, in Dalish tradition and she'd been raised Dalish._

But none of that was true. She knew that now. The Dread Wolf had been fed from fear and anger, from those who had enslaved the People and burned all that he loved. He was an alpha, the leader and provider. It was as if he couldn't live without living for others.

 _The wolf was beside her again, its head taller than she was. It brushed against her lightly; as if afraid she would shatter. Kana reached out and touched its milky hide. It was soft, thick, and she leaned into it as the beast started walking and she with it._

 _She hadn't remembered that journey, only remembered bits in between, and when she'd been found at the pass between two peaks. There was no wolf there when Cassandra and Cullen had helped her down into the valley, to the camp._

He was already there, waiting in the healer's tent.

Why? Why hadn't she remembered that, remembered him?

…because he hadn't wanted her to.

She'd been so comfortable with Solas' wolf form.

Kana remembered what she'd witnessed the day after she'd defeated Corypheus, the day after Solas had left. She remembered going into the tavern to drown her sorrows, her soul, and found herself in front of Cole. It was not him who had been speaking and afterwards, no amount of probing could get the spirit to remember.

So why hadn't he made her forget him entirely? Why leave her with a broken heart and melancholy memories.

The thought stuck in her brain. Solas was doing this for them, for the People. All his suffering, his loneliness, his sacrifices, all of the things he'd had to let go. She could see them, imagine them, she was one of them…or maybe she didn't have to be. She wouldn't be. He hadn't made her forget him and that was enough for her. With every bone in her body, she wouldn't allow him to pass her by on his road of self-sacrifice. She would walk with him, next to him, holding his hand, like he had done for her.


	21. Chapter 21

**Disclaimer: I don't own Dragon Age.**

...

Chapter 21:

Solas fell asleep in his chair again. It was not comfortable but there was no way in Thedas that he was going to move Kana. He'd woken in the night to her gurgling, something about snow…and wolves. She was blessed out in fever from her leg. He didn't blame her for dreaming of snow, the shivers wracked her body. He'd sent Cole for more blankets and when the spirit returned, he'd piled them on her. It was only then that Fen'Harel thought to ask him where he'd gotten them.

The boy's reply was: "They weren't using them."

He would have to track down the owners later to apologize.

But later never came as the fever didn't subside. And he didn't leave the tower, content to having anything he needed delivered to him.

"I'm taking advantage of you." He'd told those that waited on them, their eyes always shifting between him and Kana. Whatever they thought, whatever was spreading around the castle, around every one of his outposts in Thedas, he didn't care at the moment.

He left once, on the third day to attend to business only he could and to bathe. He'd left Cole with her which was comfort enough. The only problem was that Adris was waiting for him at the bottom of the stair.

The Marshall had never seen his friend so beaten down with worry. It seemed that Kana pulled every bad emotion out of him: sorrow, fear, guilt, concern. Adris could tell it was eating him. Reports had been slow. The usually perfectly disciplined Dread Wolf was off his game. This only added to Adris' resolve. He would meddle, he would prod, he would do anything to keep them together. If this was Solas' low point, he could only imagine the opposite effect Kana would have on him.

Fen'Harel had gone to Arlathan, to meet with the council and to switch the gates around once again, allowing for more patrols and excursions into the forest. He needed to find where the Tal-Vashoth had retreated to. But the strangest things began to happen. It started with stares, with eyes following his every movement. He was used to this, the effect he had on the People with his identity known, but this was different. Instead of staying away, instead of being wary, they began to come closer. An elderly woman blocked his path and took hold of his hand, patting it reverently before continuing on her way. She was…trying to comfort him.

She was not the only one. Strangers on the street would suddenly lock gazes and nod, encouragement. They wished him health, they wished him happiness. It wasn't until Adris appeared again at his side that he realized why all of this was happening.

"They know. They've heard the stories of their brave and fearless leader getting smacked across the _face_ by a _woman_. They know how, when she ran, you ran after her, and almost lost your life defending her. They know she's in your tower, resting from her grave injuries. There are...other...speculations about her being there as well."

Solas ignored the last comment.

"It _is_ strange. The People usually avoid me." Adris chuckled.

"She's a smart one, I knew that soon as I met her. Allowing her to storm in and catch you off guard might have been my doing but that slap…" He paused in his sentence and ran a hand over his cheek. Solas had to stop himself from doing the same. There was still some slight discoloring.

"You are so far away, Solas, so far above us ' _normal'_ people. Sometimes I wonder if one day you'll stop looking over the edge to make sure we're all right. That girl, what she did, what _you_ did, reminds them that you are still a person. You may be powerful, you may have our future on your shoulders…but you are still just a man…a man who happens to be in love with a little Dalish mage." He paused again.

"It's the strangest of things."

Solas assumed he was referring to love.

As Adris had been talking, Fen'Harel had been retreating in his mind. It didn't matter how the People saw him. He would save them from this world. That was his promise. But as he walked away, back in the direction of the Hall of Mirrors, he couldn't stop himself from uttering one last sentence.

"She is _not_ little."

…

He returned around dusk to find the room relatively cleaned. His trays of half-eaten food were gone and he noticed that the sheets had been replaced. Kana had been taken care of as well, her skin carefully scrubbed, fresh clothes, a change in bandage. He stood at the edge of the bed, gazing upon her sleeping face. Her hair. She must have cut it before realizing the magic of her arm. His fingers fumbled with a few of the short strands, tucking them behind a delicate ear. Solas sighed, falling back onto the sofa that sat against the stair case railing.

He was mad, he must have been. There was no more need to worry, she would be fine, she was safe.

He stood, straightened his raiment, and stepped up to the bed again. He could do it now, erase any memory of him. She'd wake up in a strange place, somewhere near Val-Royeaux or Kirkwall and wouldn't have any idea what had happened. _Just a dream_ , she'd tell herself.

Then her eyes fluttered and she moved under the mound of blankets, her remaining hand appearing at the edge of them.

She said his name, quiet, thick with sleep. She was dreaming of him. His fingertips hovered over the left side of her face, over the tip of her ear.

 _Not yet_ , he told himself. He had to know why she'd come to find him, what her purpose in pursing him was.

Then he would let her go.

Love was indeed the strangest of things.

…

Her first thought was one of comfort. The sheets were soft and she ran a palm, her only palm, across them under the blankets. She felt buried alive again but it wasn't by way of fear this time.

Kana opened her eyes to a familiar ceiling…her ceiling. She was back at Skyhold. She was back in her bed. She would have thought everything a dream if not for the slight throbbing of her right leg.

Her only hand moved on its own, trailing down her thigh until she felt cloth, felt the bandage. She didn't want to move for fear of agitating the wound…she was still tired, her body ached. Against herself, she relaxed, floating back down in the sheets. But there was something else now, a knowing in her stomach that wouldn't go away. It growled at her restlessly. How long had she been asleep?

Her body felt as if rigor had steeped in, like that of a corpse. It took all her strength to curl upwards, right hand using the back board as support. The blankets fell off her upper body like waves.

Yes, she was back in the tower. The doors to the balconies were open, letting in soft morning air. She wore a shirt, quite a large one, with her under things beneath it. She was wearing shorts but Kana understood why they hadn't put her in pants, it was easier to take care of her leg that way. She liked the way the tunic felt against her bare skin. She would have to get the name of the tailor.

Kana, carefully, morbidly slowly, moved her right leg towards the edge of the bed and let it swing off, followed by the left. She pulled the covers back. Her entire thigh was wrapped in bandages that reeked of elfroot and other healing herbs she knew were located in the gardens. It gladdened her to know that all the hard work she'd put into that patch of dirt was still paying off, that the plants were thriving. As a Dalish, her clan was always on the move but they usually returned to the same campsites ever once in a while. It was pleasing to arrive and find whatever herbal patch they'd left was still surviving.

Kana's gaze ventured around the large room. Like the Great Hall, the blank stone walls were now covered in paintings. It was beautiful and she thought that this was how Skyhold was supposed to have looked. She glanced towards the stairs; her Dalish windows were still there, casting tree-like shadows of green on the floor. Then she noticed a thrumming, something that brought her attention to the night stand. There, among the different tonics, lay her band, the one Dagna had constructed for her. A sense of relief flooded her senses as she picked the golden circle up and pulled what was left of her left arm out of its sleeve. Under the shirt, she slipped it on and channeled her magic. She was weak but the band would help. She wanted a left arm.

The magic started slow but soon it began to fill out and Kana maneuvered the appendage back into its proper sleeve. The spell finally reached her fingertips, violet and swirling. It was still unnerving to see them but she was not going to complain about a little discoloration.

A gust of wind came through the windows and chilled her skin. Kana pulled her coverings around her tightly, only then catching something she'd missed before. It smelled like…

 _Shit._

Her face instantly burned red at the thought, at the context that usually accompanied something of this sort. Couldn't they have found something else to put her in! She looked around again, a realization washing over her. Skyhold had been his home. This had been his room first. And he'd let her have it, for almost three years he'd let her have it. Now Skyhold was his again…and so was the bed she'd been sleeping in.

Kana let go of the breath she was holding. She would have preferred this happening in an entirely different situation.

As a Dalish, bonding, and the events there after, was something revered, something that occurred only between two people. Since she had been adopted into the Lavellan clan, there had been a good many who had sought her hand but nothing had ever come of it. There had never been anyone she was really close to other than perhaps Deshanna. Kana had been a solitary child, her past having marked her more than she would have liked.

And then she'd met _him_...and he'd completely changed everything.

Solas. Fire and brimstone, she was going to have to face him now. But what would he say?

She'd saved him…and he'd saved her, what was there to say about that?

Her memories, colored with red and white, flitted in and out. Her fingers in his fur, that self-same wolf from the mountains.

Yes. He'd saved her that night as well. How many times over did he own her, body and soul? Kana felt as if she didn't belong to herself anymore.

She belonged to him. What would happen now?

Kana didn't know where he was, the armchair, that same blasted arm chair from the Rotunda, sitting behind the desk was empty, so was the sofa, although both showed signs of use.

"He's in the library. It was his favorite place before. _Walls keep them out, books fill them in, so much to learn…and an eternity to do it."_

Kana nearly jumped to her feet at the appearance of her favorite spirit of Compassion.

"Cole!" She said, inching towards the edge of the bed. The boy in question hopped down from the sofa and went to her side.

"You know my name? I knew you knew my name but he won't let me remember. What is yours? I can't find it."

Her happiness slunk. What had Fen'Harel done?

"He keeps it foggy, freezy, windy, so that nothing can stick on the two of you."

"Kana," she said to his elation.

"My name is Kana Lavellan, Cole." He matched her small smile with a bigger one, like a puppy with a floppy hat instead of floppy ears.

"That's it…please; tell me more, its sticking." Kana opened her mouth to continue but didn't know if she wanted to. There were things she would have liked to forget. She didn't know if Compassion should remember any of them too. She started small.

"You were my friend. There were twelve of us. We came together to save the world. You, I, Josephine, Cullen, Leliana, Cassandra,"

"Varric!"

"Yes, Varric, and Vivienne, Blackwa- I mean, Thom Rainer, Sera, Dorian, and…"

Cole turned his head away from Kana, to look back over his shoulder. There, at the top of the stairs stood the final person.

"Solas."

Kana couldn't tell, between her and Cole, who had said it first.


	22. Chapter 22

**Disclaimer: I don't own Dragon Age.**

...

Chapter 22:

She was awake.

Kana Lavellan was awake. She was alive, aware and, Thedas help him, she was in his bed.

He let out the breath he'd been holding on the way up that final flight of steps. Cole was with her and both had called his name at the same time. His eyes softened at the sight of them.

Solas had been fighting with himself all morning. If the People knew about her…then his enemies did as well and he didn't doubt that Garsiv would be looking for an opportunity now that it was known that his heart wasn't exactly in his chest.

What troubled him was _why_ Kana Lavellan had been out in the forest alone.

He needed to find out before he sent her away.

 _If_ he sent her away.

There were places that he trusted would be safe…but none so safe as with him…and he knew that he'd have to fight her tooth and nail to get her to leave. It would be practical to have her stay where he could reach her, watch her. Either way, he would still avoid her. He walked a path of death. He was not going to drag her along it with him.

But right now, she sat in front of him, just as contemplative in his existence as he was of her's.

His eyes, without moving to indicate it, raked up and down her body. Her face was pale, blue eyes searching his. Short hair falling about her ears. She'd fixed her arm, the purple and pale hands both gripping her knees. The night dress she was wearing was absolutely too big on her small frame…then he, too, realized it. Whoever's idea it was to put her into one of _his_ shirts he was going to hunt them down and vent his emotions on them…and not by way of words.

Cole went to open his mouth but, without being too menacing, Solas switched his gaze to the boy. Not one syllable passed from the spirit's lips.

He returned his focus to Kana, meeting her crystal eyes. It was then that he betrayed himself, his gaze following down the neck of the shirt where it revealed her collar bone. He swallowed hard and looked back up. Her face was growing red and she couldn't look at him anymore, clearly embarrassed about her garb and the context it insinuated. Cole's mouth kept in the form of an 'o'. The spirit still didn't dare say anything. Solas needed to send him away before he did.

Seeming to understand their need for space, Cole looked back at Kana, who then nodded, before dissipating, leaving nothing but the memory of him ever having been there to begin with.

...

The way he looked at her. Kana had never had anybody look at her like that. She had squirmed under that gaze, until she was sure her face was beet red, and she had to look away, anywhere but at him. Now all she could hear was his footsteps crossing the floor to stand in front of her. She'd loved him during their time with the Inquisition but it was slow, ebbing from nothing into a smoldering something. Now it was if she was going to burn to death from the fire in her chest, in her face.

It was coming, their confrontation. They would both channel their love into something other than what it was. It would make demons of them.

Solas stood before Kana, looking down at her flushed face. It was he who finally spoke.

"The surgeon did a remarkable job at repairing the wound. There were stitches but he insisted it would not scar too badly." As if she would be worried about a scar, one that hardly anyone would ever see. He wasn't doing this well. He needed to be stone. Stone didn't have feelings, stone didn't know love. But he thought back to what Adris had said.

He was still just a man…and Kana Lavellan was still just a woman.

"You should be up and walking soon. Then I'll have someone escort you back to Val-Royeaux." He needed to know her reaction. He needed to know how much she'd actually meant when he'd laid the truth before her at the Exalted Council. He needed to know if she really meant what she'd said. He needed to know if she loved him enough to help him destroy the world.

"I don't want to go back to Val-Royeaux." Kana said, very much like a pouting child.

"The Free-Marches then."

Kana said nothing. The blood that had been in her face was now there for a different purpose. It was happening. She was getting angry again and she didn't want to lose her temper, not when any outburst could sever him from her. She needed to get up, to show him that she was strong, strong enough to stay with him. She was not weak…

…but her body was and she was shaking, little tremors that vibrated along her spine. It was cold.

"I'm not leaving." She said forcefully, hands fisting in the sheets. He was so close, she could see his toes, smell him. She was leaning forward. She pulled herself back.

"I'm afraid that you don't have any choice in the matter." Kana jerked her head up, that little crease between her eye brows. He was so close to her…and yet so far away.

"Everyone always has a choice. Isn't that what _you_ always say?"

Damn, she had him there and Solas moved his head to look out the window. He was losing. He'd given her his intentions and she'd given him her's. There was nothing left to debate. They were at an impasse.

"I would thank you, Kana Lavellan." He was changing the subject, looking down at her leg instead of her face. The gratitude had caught her off guard. Solas had almost _purred_ her name.

"I'm sorry." She didn't know if he was refereeing to her leg or their entire situation. Either way, Kana regretted nothing.

"I'm not." She blurted. They'd spoken the same pairing of sentences before the Eluvian, before the anchor had almost killed her. She would not allow an apology to be the last thing he said to her.

He moved to go, taking a large stride to put as much distance in between them as he could…but a hand wrapped around his right arm, one that was violet, magically, and infinitely stronger than he was.

"I'm not leaving, Solas."

This was going to have to be quick, sharp. It was the only way to truly know. This was not a tryst; this was not some court scandal. He was dealing with the fate of the entire world and she had to be ready for that, for the consequences, however horrible. This was his path and he had to make sure Kana knew what she was getting herself into. There would be no going back.

Solas turned around to face her as she clutched his arm. Kana was standing, her face inches from his, eyes raging. Her leg was bleeding again, crimson through the bandages, most likely through the weight now on it. Kana was trying to balance on her left side.

"Then tell me now, why did you come? Why put yourself in such danger with no guarantee of gaining what you seek."

"I didn't come here primarily for _you_ , Fen'Harel." The use of his moniker, and the declaration itself smarted, more so than it had when it was an insult from the Pantheon. He narrowed his eyes and grabbed her wrist where it gripped his arm. There would be a bruise there later.

"Then why?" They stared at each other. Her legs were starting to shake, especially her right. He was trying to break her down.

"I need to know what happened to the Sentinels, the ones at Mythal's Temple. I need to speak with Abelas."

"Abelas is not here."

"But you know where he is." It was not a question and Kana waited for him to tell her otherwise.

"I do." He said, his mouth in that same set shape.

"But you won't let me go find him."

"No."

This man was infuriating…but it wasn't as if she could go hiking up a mountain or through a forest at this point. Maybe with Revas…no, the arrows. Kana would allow him time to heal at least. She could not be cruel to her hart.

"Then I'm not leaving." The sentence burst from her mouth and she wouldn't dare correct herself in front of him. Not when she needed to be strong in her resolve, even if leaving was the exact opposite of what she wanted to do.

Solas wasn't sure if he wanted her to leave either but he wouldn't admit that to her…not yet. He knew where Abelas was, the Sentinel was scouting another lost ruin for more of the People to resettle in, at least two weeks from the nearest Eluvian. It would take that long to send for him and another two weeks for him to return. It would be at least twice that long before Kana would be fit to do any real traveling. He could stand to allow her to stay for a few weeks.

But he had plans…plans she was more than likely interfere with. He couldn't…

She saw it in his eyes. He was slipping away again and Kana was grasping at straws. She wracked her brain for something to say, anything.

"I'll make a deal with you." She said before she could change her mind. In all the tales, all the stories, the People asked things of Fen'Harel, traded him something in return for something else, made bargains. Granted what they got was not always what they'd asked for or wanted. If he could turn something to his advantage, twist words around to find a loophole, so could she.

Kana opened her mouth to speak but Solas moved and it caught her off guard. Strong hands pushed her shoulders down so she landed on the edge of the bed. The relief in her leg was insurmountable and a moan traitorously escaped her mouth.

And there he was, closer than before, looking into her face. She would not be embarrassed anymore. She was an adult, seven years past the age she'd gotten her Vallaslin. The blood-writing had made her feel grown-up, finally apart of her adoptive clan. The marks were gone but Kana was still the same. She didn't need ink to know who she was…or what she wanted.

"Don't the Dalish tell stories about those who made deals with the Dread Wolf?" He spoke, mouth forming into the infancy of a sneer.

He was trying to be threatening, to fill her with some sense of danger but there was something else there, some kind of challenge. She would meet him head on, smirking.

"Yes, let's recount all the things the Dalish got right. Aren't you supposed to eat children and sacrifice virgins?"

Solas released her shoulders, hands going to fold behind his bent back, but he didn't leave her gaze. His face was passive. Then he countered her.

"I would, but I can't decide which action to take. You belong to both groups."

That stung.

Kana tried not to let her face go red at the insult. Her hands fisted in the sheets. She collected herself, lifting her chin a little higher. She was modest, not a prude, but the comment had turned her insides more than she was willing to admit. The Dalish valued bonding for life among the People. So what if she'd never found someone? The only man she'd ever considered stood before her and even then, before she'd know his real identity, he'd been a flat-ear; he would have been looked down upon. But now she had no clan and no Inquisition, no one to criticize.

He'd gone too far, he knew that now, as she tried to gather the nerve to look up at him again. Solas ran through the options in his head. She could be moved, albeit without her approval and most likely consciousness, but there was no guarantee she'd stay away. She'd come running back to the forest or to the gates of Skyhold. If he made a deal, if he made her promise not to come back…maybe he could live with himself then, himself and the consequences.

"Do we have a deal?" Kana asked, finally finding his face. Solas hesitated.

"We do." He said. And with that, he recoiled, walking away and back around the railing, to the stairs.

"I'll send someone up to care for your leg. And to find you some clothes." Her eyes followed him as he went and before he disappeared, he looked back.

Neither had said the specifics of whatever pact they'd made. It was a loophole for both of them. Kana would use it to try and stay. He would use it to make her go. In the end, he wondered if either of them would really win.


	23. Chapter 23

**Disclaimer: I don't own Dragon Age.**

...

Chapter 23:

True to his word, someone did come to help her. She had been struggling along by herself, and had made it to the sofa when the door opened behind her. For a moment, she thought it might have been Solas again but another semi-familiar face appeared before her.

"Mihris?"

Kana was surprised to see the First and last of Clan Virnehn, come walking into the tower room, a large bundle in her arms.

"You are not the only one surprised by the face you see, Inquisitor." Kana shook her head at the title.

"I am Inquisitor no longer."

"Yet you are here, in this castle. You called Fen'Harel a bastard for stealing it from you." This surprisingly got a rise out of Kana who chuckled at the memory. It had been one of her more spontaneous actions.

"I did, didn't I?" But then it dawned on her, the consequences of such an act.

"How many people saw?" Mihris bent down to sit on the floor in front of her and Kana scooted forward, allowing her access to her thigh.

"You might be more specific and say ask how many people _know_."

From where she sat, Kana got a better look at her. They'd met briefly in the Hinterlands on a quest to find the first of many elvhen artifacts. She wasn't surprised that Solas had inducted her into his forces. She was a skilled mage but seemed to be a few years younger than Kana. Her hair was dark and so were her eyes. The only notable difference was her lack of blood-writing.

"Fen'Harel…has he removed everyone's Vallaslin?"

"All those that wanted the markings gone. I was one of them. You were the first, I suppose. I saw you from a distance much later after our initial meeting. They were gone and so was he."

Kana let a hand lift up to her forehead. No, she was not the first. He'd told her that himself. And she told Mihris but the healer didn't seem to want to believe her, as if the story in her head was better and more widely accepted.

After unpacking her bundle, Kana saw a medical pouch and fresh bandages. She was a little disappointed to see that there were no clothes for her. Mihris finally got around to Kana's leg, unwrapping the old material. Kana's eyes drifted back to the bed. The sheets would have to be changed again as there was now a stain where Solas had made her sit down. Mihris' hands were rough but gentle. Kana wasn't sure what to expect once the covering was gone but it took her a few seconds to finally get the courage to look.

The wound was still fresh, red and puckered but stitched closed. It would take a while to fully heal as the blade had gone straight through her leg.

"If you'd been anywhere else, with any _one_ else, you would have lost this leg. Imagine my surprise when the Dread Wolf himself comes into my hospital carrying the Inquisitor in his arms."

"Your hospital?"

"Yes. He put me in charge of the wounded." Kana flinched as Mihris began dabbing at her leg with a wet cloth, trying gingerly to wash away the blood.

"How many are there? Wounded?" The question seemed to surprise Mihris but she answered it.

"Not many, but enough to keep me, us, busy. Most who get hurt don't come back. You can thank that son of a bitch Garsiv and his savages for that. You've caused more ruckus than we've seen in ages. It was a lucky thing that the Dread Wolf went after you though; the Marshal hadn't sent enough men to deal with Garsiv and his honor guard. You, indirectly, saved lives. I thank you for that."

Kana didn't feel up for the gratitude. She hadn't done anything worth it.

"I'll also thank you, on behalf of all elvhen, for saving Fen'Harel's life, Inquisitor." The statement took Kana aback slightly. How much did these people know? She had known that the rumors of everything in her everyday life spread quicker than wildfire during the time of the Inquisition but she'd had Josephine to deal with such things.

Who did Solas have?

Mihris began wrapping fresh cloth around her leg. Kana turned to stare out the window.

"Please…don't call me Inquisitor."

"Then what _would_ you like me to call you, my Lady?" Kana cringed at that title too. She didn't want a title, she didn't want to be anyone other than who she was.

Just what exactly was being said about her around the settlements?

" _Kana_ , Mihris. _Just_ Kana." The healer finished the wrapping and tied the ends, tucking them into the bulk. She then stood but her expression had changed. It was a little agitated, as if she'd just said something wrong.

"Trust me when I say, _Kana_ , that you are not _just_ anything, to any _one_."

Mihris smoothed her robes and collected her things, no longer looking at her charge.

" _Blood, red everywhere, coming from her leg, "Alis, go get more water", he lays her on the table, eyes never leaving her face. It reminds me of how he used to look at me. But now he's gone._ I brought you some clothes. _"_

Cole sat on the edge of the bed, his feet kicking back and forth, a more recognizable bundle in his arms.

His appearance seemed to spook Mihris but she settled as soon as she saw who it was.

"Ah, Compassion. I thought I told you to take care of the twins." Cole looked up at Mihris from under his hat and smiled…goofily.

"I told them the story with the rabbit. We always like the ones with rabbits, but then they fell asleep. I can't follow them there right now."

The answer seemed to pacify Mihris who finished collecting her things and marched back towards the stairs.

"Make sure to check on them later too. Good day, _Fen'Vehnan_." Kana looked between the spot where Mihris had been standing, to the spirit now running his finger over the bloody bed sheet.

"She called me 'Wolf Heart'." Kana stated, a little uncomfortable with someone so open.

"Its what everyone is calling you now. She didn't know what else to say." Cole said, standing up and handing Kana the clothes he'd brought her. Boots, dark leggings, white button up over-shirt. It was the same attired she used to wear around Skyhold as the Inquisitor. Kana wasn't sure what title she would have preferred just then.

"It was all I could find." Cole said apologetically. Kana felt badly then and the garb from his hands, smiling.

"No, its perfect, Cole, thank you. Do you think you could…" He understood her request but before he left he uttered one final thing.

"Its true, isn't it? Don't let the voices take it from you."

And with that he was gone. Leaving Kana alone with said voices.

She could feel them, cowering in a corner of her mind like a scolded child. There were questions she needed answering and if they weren't going to talk, hopefully Abelas would.

...

Solas didn't return that night…or the one after. Kana still couldn't walk more than a few steps without causing another amount of bleeding so she couldn't go look for him…she wasn't sure if she even wanted to find him at the moment. They'd come to some kind of understanding in regards to her being at Skyhold but Kana still wasn't sure what it entailed and for how long. She didn't want to find out.

Mihris and Cole were the only people to see her and by the time they arrived every morning and every night, she was so starved of contact and sick of being idle that she'd begged them to get her something to do.

That was how Kana ended up with the sewing. The work was banal but it kept her from going insane.

Cole would visit her more than Mihris, come to cheer her up with food or whenever the room got too cold with the windows open. He'd tell her any new news from the rising empire.

"The twin's fevers are gone now and so is the man with butterfly hair. The chest wound was too much." Kana nodded, pulling threads. She wasn't really listening at the moment.

" _Pulling, pulling, in and out, up and over, fixing patches for people she's never met. If only everything else was just as easy."_

Cole paused when he saw the look she was giving him.

"I'm sorry."

Kana sighed, her hands dropping onto her lap. Blast her leg.

"It seems that everyone is either apologizing to me or thanking me." She still hadn't gotten over Mihris' comment. _Fen'Vehnan._ Where was he? If anything, she was disappointed, depressed even that he hadn't come back to see her.

Cole opened his mouth to speak but only air came out, like a puff of smoke. She looked at him; the spirit always said what he wanted to. He'd opened his mouth then _closed_ it. There was going to be a reason why.

"Cole, where is he?" The boy seemed to squirm in his skin, his fingers weaving in and out of each other.

" _Eyes focused, knows what she wants_ ," he started, getting up from his spot on the sofa, before the sound of a whining dog came from him.

"Its harder to keep secrets when people are _looking_ for them." He began to walk away, quickly towards the stairs.

"Cole! Come back here! Tell me, where is Solas?" But the spirit hurried on his way, leaving Kana with her sewing. She pushed the whole pile off the bed and wanted to jab needles in her eyes.

…

Briala walked swiftly, quietly through the streets of Val-Royeaux, without so much as her footsteps to give her away, a skill she'd placed much value on in previous weeks. One could never be too careful when it came to Orleasians. Or humans in general.

The Exalted Council was far behind them but the impact was still felt in the shadows of the court. Many of the elvhen servants had disappeared and Briala felt that it was the same throughout Thedas. The human were going to start having to wait on the humans. The elvhen spymaster felt this to be a nice turn of events, even if they were not her doing.

 _Fen'Harel._

It was a name whispered in the night with no one but the walls to hear of it. They murmured his name like some kind of prayer, as if just saying it would smite their enemies. But, she'd noticed, it wasn't too long after that they disappeared. Her own network, no less, was thinning and it made the woman rather irritable. How was she supposed to prove her value to Celene without them? She'd been doing her own part in the Empress' bed. Where were the spies, the quick feet, the silent daggers that had pledged themselves to her service?

Gone.

Stolen by a man from a time long since over and forgotten. What did he expect? That if Arlathan and Elvehnan were brought back that the shemlen would just bow before their might. Briala had seen it before. You could change empires, you could change rulers, but ideas, prejudices, those didn't so easily go away. Celene was powerful, but not even she could stop every rude comment, every little hatred thrown Briala's way. The two loved each other, that was true, but they valued their power more. They valued the strings tied around their fingers more than a single amulet tied around their necks. It was a poisonous relationship, each woman getting what they wanted out of the other. It would be soon to crumble…again. Briala was going to make sure she wasn't out on the street when it did. The Inquisitor had done what she'd thought was right at the ball. Now, Briala was going to do things her way.

The elvhen woman finally made her way to her destination, a single decrepit building that was unassuming on the outside, however, its insides stretched down and around throughout the city. She could be anywhere in a matter of a short walk but there was one place she intended to go, somewhere that not even sunshine found.

The guard at the door stopped her but straightened considerably when he saw her face, coupled by their password. The building was bare, quiet a change from the other residencies of Val-Royeaux but it served.

Briala went to the cellar, pushed back a grate and began walking into the dark. She'd been born at night. The darkness had never been her enemy.

It could have been hours, it could have been minutes, but she followed the map inside her head with little problems until she stopped and opened another door, the metal creaking against its hinges.

"Wake up, Gaspard. We need to talk."

…

Solas stood on the roof, toes gripping the smooth tiles. He'd watched Briala walk from one point to another, so sure in her trek that she hadn't seen someone following her from above.

No one ever looked up.

He wore dark, loose fitting clothes and a cowl that hid his face and ears.

To anyone in the city below him, Solas might have appeared to be a thief, ready to steal precious jewels or secrets. But he was looking to take something far more valuable: Empires.

And he knew that Briala would help him do it.


	24. Chapter 24

**Disclaimer: I don't own Dragon Age.**

...

Chapter 24:

After a week of sewing and doing less than she'd done in her entire life, it was a blessing when Adris decided it was time to get her out of the tower room.

"Here, use this. With all the magic, medicine, and rest poured into that wound, you should at least be able to hobble along by now." He'd brought Kana her staff, which to her surprise, had been rubbed down and tended to. There had been many a mage who used their weapon as a walking stick. Kana just didn't think she'd join their ranks so soon.

Dressing was tricky but she managed to maneuver her wound through a pair of leggings and coat her upper body with a shirt, tunic, and topped it off with a cloak. The garb seemed so foreign but Kana didn't doubt that the elvhen tailors and armor makers had labored over the clothes. It took her a few minutes but the feel of the leather and cloth on her legs was familiar. She'd been forced to be 'civilized' as the Herald of Andraste. That didn't allow for many of her Dalish customs and habits, shoes included. She was glad to be able to wiggle them against the chilled stone. Kana didn't expect to recover the Keeper robes she'd arrived in.

Her hair, short as it was, was braided skillfully away from her eyes.

Adris waited for her at the bottom of the first set of steps. Steps…this was going to be tricky. Seeing her concern, the Marshall only smiled and meandered up to meet her.

"Hold on," he'd said before wrapping an arm around her middle and she barely had time to grasp his shoulder before he'd lifted her off her feet and squeezed her to his side. She snorted when he finally set her down at the bottom. It wasn't fair how short she was; Adris was almost taller than Solas. It was the easiest solution.

Finally reaching the door to the Great Hall, Kana turned to Adris.

"Where are we going?" She asked, huffing a little bit from the exertion. Being pampered and stuck immobile had taken its toll. Kana hoped she wasn't too soft. It was almost funny. She had complained before about how being Inquisitor had kept her so busy, to the point of pulling out her hair. Now that she had nothing to do, any activity was welcome.

"Does it matter?" The Marshall said with a smile but he gestured a hand forward, indicating that she was to lead. Kana stood at the door, staring at it. She did and didn't know what lay beyond it all at the same time. Adris felt her hesitation.

"Why don't you show me _your_ castle?" He prompted and Kana turned to look at him with a sad smile. She leaned forward, almost letting the weight of her body carry over the tips of her toes, so she'd have to take a step forward.

"You know when I said that, it wasn't about the castle." Adris nodded. He knew, just about everyone did, and it was driving him insane, all the rumors. The Marshall didn't know how long Solas had insisted she stay in the tower or how long he was going to allow her to stay at all, but he had to get her out and about. The People needed to see her alive and breathing, the Fen'Vehnan.

The Wolf in question had left Skyhold the day Kana had woken up and hadn't been back since. Adris knew that he was trying to avoid her, the inevitable, by throwing himself into things others could have just as easily accomplished. The archer planned to have Kana fully integrated into the cause by the time he returned.

The Marshall was about to push the door open himself when the little elvhen mage finally did. He could see her determination carved on her face like a relief sculpture. The Great Hall wasn't busy but there were plenty who were already at breakfast. Kana imagined that Varric sat by the fireplace, that Josephine sat in her office, that Solas…waited for her in the Rotunda. But all the faces that turned to stare were elvhen. And stare they did.

The hair on the back of her neck stood on edge but Kana hobbled forward, her staff making telltale 'clicks' across the stone floor. With a clearance of people, she could now see the decoration at its fullest, vibrant and reminiscent of the People. Skyhold had never looked more beautiful. Food wafted up through her nose from the tables lining the hall and Kana was glad she had already eaten. She wouldn't have been able to with all the eyes on her back.

As they walked the length of the hall, the whispers started.

"…the Inquisitor…"

"…mage…"

"…Wolf heart…"

Adris padded behind her, seemingly oblivious to what was happening around them. Kana knew just what to do.

Stopping at the last table, Kana looked over at Adris and then motioned him closer to her.

"Help me with something, will you." She smiled sweetly and Adris was almost concerned about what she planned to do.

With the Marshall's help, Kana stepped up onto a chair then up onto the table, making quite a ruckus as she went, just to make sure all eyes were on her. She even purposefully kicked a goblet off the table for maximum effect. Adris stood below her in case she was feeling off balanced or her leg began to shake.

She cleared her throat. Every cup and fork was set down with a clank. Kana remembered the day she'd been made Inquisitor, standing before all those people who saw her as a Herald, a savior. She didn't want to be looked at like that again. She wasn't a savior; she was one of them, one of the People. So, gathering her nerve, every inch she could muster, Kana Lavellan spoke.

"So…how is everyone enjoying _my_ castle?" There was a great round of laughter throughout the room and she knew then, that she had them.

…

Adris leaned against the wall near the fireplace, watching as Kana ate and laughed and spoke with the others in the Great Hall. She certainly was something: passionate, lively, considerate, kind…and beautiful to boot. He didn't regret bringing her to meet everyone and the Marshall smiled to himself, thinking about what Solas' reaction would be if he came back to discover that his Heart was warming those of others.

After her outburst, the room had lightened considerable and soon they had both been approached by a few curious elvhen. They asked her name, who she was, what she was. They asked about her arm, the Inquisition…but mostly they asked about how she had come to know Fen'Harel and Kana, nervous at first, told them. She told them of the Breach, of the strange elvhen man who'd saved her life more times than she could count. Everyone listened to her talk and soon the Great Hall was filled to capacity. Even Mihris, distant and direct, had come to listen to the ex-Inquisitor's tales. Soon the stories drifted to her work as the Herald of Andraste. She was willing to share but Adris could tell the truth weighed on her shoulders like stone. Kana had seen much, known much…and had come out stronger.

Adris pondered over this connection. Solas was much the same as her. Both of their worlds twisted by corruption and taint…but there was a difference between them that was undeniable. Where Kana had come out of her troubles still with her hope and amity, Solas was bitter and burdened.

The ancient elvhen rebel had been alone for too long. He'd forgotten something, Adris thought, something deep inside himself that had been locked away. He'd spent so much time hiding his notoriety that Adris could tell he was still a little unsettled about the fact that it was now recognized. That was why he recoiled. That was why he sank deeper into dreams, into himself. Watching the creature before him in all her imperfect glory, Adris hoped she could bring it out of him again.

Another round of boisterous laugher rang out and Adris smiled. More and more people were coming into the hall, all eager to meet Kana. She was a light, a gem, a jewel, and he didn't doubt that the story of her was spreading through the camps, inspiring. Her stories would spread. Kana had been the Inquisitor, someone who'd taken the worst of everything and saved the world. Adris was sure that there would soon be writers, artisans, poets, dying to get their hands on their story, Solas and Kana's. He wondered if that would be their legacy…or if it would be fire.

…

Briala was furious. She'd been caught unaware so easily.

The elvhen spy regarded the man before her in deep contemplation. He stayed to the shadows, unwilling to let her see his face. How he'd snuck into the Winter Palace was beyond her. The only possible way would be…no. It couldn't be. The Eluvian was closed, silent…unless.

Briala went for the knife in her drawer, shoving off the blankets to the Empress' impressive bed but she was no match for magic, not by herself, and her back was shoved against the headboard.

"Well, is this where you wanted me?" She trilled, an air of seduction on her breath. The figure was not enticed.

Briala relaxed against the hold, knowing that she wouldn't be going anywhere without the figure's approval.

"Celene is away on business. Or was it that you wanted to talk to me?" Briala tested. Still the man did not move from where he stood between the columns of moonlight from the windows.

She was getting bored now, wanting to get back to her dreams but Briala wondered if he'd been watching those too.

"What is it you want, Dread Wolf?" there came a chuckle from the darkness.

"Orlais…Tevinter…Thedas." There was one other name on that list that he refused to speak or even think about.

"My, that is quite a shopping list. And what is your proposition for me?"

"You want power? I'll give it to you. I'll let you have your spies back; I'll let you keep Orlais. I'll even let you keep your Empress - after we're done, provided."

"That does seem like a weighted proposition. What is it you get?"

 _Redemption._

There was a pause, Solas didn't want to reveal to much so early.

"That...is my own affair."

"What if I refuse?"

"Then you get nothing…and I will still gain everything." It wasn't a lie. He just didn't want her to know how much this part of his plan weighted on her decision.

"What did you have in mind?"

"Celene. Kidnap the Empress, hold her hostage for me, let me make my threats." Briala smiled. He was planning to bring about his Empire then blackmail Orlais into letting it stand. Smart. But Briala had another trick up her sleeve. She had Gaspard…and she wasn't going to reveal that card just yet.

"You play the Game, masterfully, Fen'Harel." She said into the darkness.

"No…that is where you are mistaken. I don't _play_. I _win_."

…

Briala sat up in her bed and looked around. She was not in the Winter Palace, hadn't been for days, not since Celene had left. Her body was cold, clammy; a bead of sweat fell between her eyes. The window was open, throwing a breeze across her face. The woman got up and walked to it. She smiled to herself, perching her arms on the window sill. Briala had survived more than most and now she had one more thing to check off on that list. The unseen adversary had revealed himself to her but he had also underestimated her. Briala would do as he asked but depending on what came to pass and where she landed, she would only stand with the Wolf for so long. She planned to outfox the Dread Wolf.


	25. Chapter 25

**Disclaimer: I don't own Dragon Age.**

...

Chapter 25:

Solas hesitated in front of the Eluvian. He'd been dreading going back. He'd also been anticipating it. There had been scarce moments in his life where it was his own mind in chaos rather than the world around him. Solas didn't know what to do. He knew what he should do.

But Kana…she changed everything…again.

He pushed through the mirror, exiting the Crossroads and arriving back in the ancient capital, in the Hall of Mirrors. He had no business in the city, at least not this late at night so it was only a few steps before he was standing before the passageway to Skyhold, hesitating once again in his trek – until he didn't.

It was late, past the midnight hour and Skyhold, too, was asleep. Most of the staff and castle was deep in the Fade; he could feel the Veil tingling due to the numerous crossings and connections. As he walked from the decrepit tower, through the Commander's old one, through his Rotunda, and eventually into the Great Hall, he hoped Kana would be one of them. He couldn't face her tonight. Solas was too tired, too afraid of letting go. He passed along the hall, stopping to stare at the wolf statute behind his throne. In all his wisdom, in all his years, he was lost on what to do.

Solas made his way up the tower steps, carefully entering into his bedroom, his tower, heart racing in his chest. He wondered if she would still be there or if she'd moved somewhere else in his absence. He wondered if she'd left entirely and the trepidation made Solas push his muscles and skip a few of the stone steps.

At the top of the stairs, he let out a sigh that deflated his entire body. Kana was half way hidden under the sheets, her pale skin, pale for a Dalish at least, gleaming in the little light given off by the hanging moon through the windows. He walked towards the bed as quietly as possible, a ghost of her soul. Kana's injured leg peeked out from the coverings and, as carefully as he could, Solas trailed his long fingers across the edge of the bandage, one or two tips caressing the smooth flesh there. Kana was colder than he liked and he covered the appendage. She did not wake and, due to his sensitivity to the Fade, he knew that she wasn't just pretending to be. His gaze shifted to a slight discoloring in the room, the humble violet humming that made up her left arm; the golden band around the upper part of it. The arm was magic to be sure but it didn't look unnatural. If anything, it added to her wild, unearthly beauty.

Solas' strength escaped him and he careened backwards onto the sofa, elbows meeting his knees, back bending in fatigue. He was crazy, absolutely out of his mind the same way his heart was out of his chest. He decided then, to talk to her tomorrow.

He couldn't avoid her forever, especially now that his work in Orlais was laid and growing from the seeds he'd planted. Solas was playing the Game and the stakes were so high he could feel them around his neck like hands ready to choke the life from him. His own fists clenched as did his teeth.

If they ever knew…if anyone ever found out…

He recalled Adamant, their trip physically into the Fade that had shaken him to the core.

He recalled the cemetery they'd found:

" _Himself, Madness, Irrelevance, Became his Parents, Helplessness, Temptation, Despair…Dying Alone."_

Never had anything come so close to the truth in his own soul and he regretted that it had to be a demon that did it. That entire escapade in the Fade had set him on edge, for in that moment another fear had risen up: Discovery. He hadn't been ready to reveal himself yet, hadn't been ready to tell her. The fear demon had been correct. His greatest fear was to die alone, forgotten, but that was only half of it, and the nightmare had done him a service. The monster knew of his identity, his association with the orb that Corypheus wielded. The demon had kept his secret as a way of being grateful for his part in the magister's rise. _Grateful_. The damned thing had been grateful, so large was the nightmare's hubris.

Upon seeing the tombstones, the group of six had drifted slightly, each going to their respective epitaphs, facing their fright. Kana had come up behind him, placing a caring hand on his arm. He reached up to take it, interlocking their fingers. He knew Kana had read his headstone but wouldn't look her in the eyes. He already knew what she would do, stare right back, assuring him that it wouldn't happen. Kana might have even insisted that she would personally make sure that it would never happen. In that moment, in that thought, Solas had wanted nothing more than to have her with him, forever. But the only path he was walking was one of death. She would die from natural causes and he never would unless by the blade or spell.

Then the words had begun to shift, muddying before returning to coherence. He hadn't waited any longer than that, calling the group together.

" _It is wrong to dwell here."_

He'd pulled Kana away before she'd been able to read what it had changed to and the others didn't bother investigating, too caught up in their own realizations.

Kana shifted on the bed in front of him, stirring him from the memory and Solas got up, covering her more fully in another blanket. He couldn't let her go. Wouldn't be able to.

Once her comfort was satisfactory, Solas went to his arm chair, one he'd spent many nights in already, and sat down into the old friend. But the chair was just that, a chair. It provided ease but nothing would ever compare to or rival the feeling of Kana's fingers, the silk of her chocolate hair, the depths of her eyes, her soul. He would never be able to forsake her.

His greatest fear was dying along...but that was only half of it. He was afraid, so afraid, nearly paralyzed at the thought of dying alone, having been the lover of a martyr.

...

Her hands worked in blood. She was covered with it all the way up to her elbows and Kana had accidentally run the back of her hand across her forehead, trying to brush away stray wisps of hair. There was left a red streak…Kana wondered if she looked like the Champion, her thoughts turning to Kira Hawke. As Inquisitor, she'd met the woman briefly, regarding the Grey Wardens and Adamant fortress. The mage had disappeared shortly after that, traveling to Weisshaupt. It was strange, meeting the heroine from Varric's tales. Kana wondered if all of their stories involving Kirkwall were true. Whatever the case, she hoped that Kira was safe and had found her way back to Fenris. Kana would wish separation from a loved one on no one. She smiled to herself, wondering if Varric was still working on his "Tale of the Inquisitor". Her time as the notorious leader was over but she had a feeling that her role in the history of Thedas wasn't done quite yet.

The soldier before her squirmed on the healer's cot, pulling her back to the waking world, and Kana gripped his hand, trying to calm him down. It wouldn't be long. Though there were few and far between, any injured fighting Garsiv and his monster didn't often come back…and if they did it wouldn't be for long before they left permanently.

" _So many wasted lives."_

Kana had said that to Cassandra at Caer Oswin after confronting the Lord Seeker. The sentence burned in the back of her throat like that powerful swill Bull used to drink.

" _You could save them. No one else need die. Fen'Harel must be stopped."_

The elvhen woman breathed out through her nose, pressing palms to the table in front of her.

 _"And what do you recommend: blood magic, murder? I won't hurt him. You can't make me."_

But there was apprehension in her thoughts, a fear of what the Vir'Abelasan was actually capable of. They studied her every second of the day, increasing their awareness, increasing her's. They filled her dreams with memories of Arlathan and Elvehnan only to show those same places burning because of the Evanuris. Kana agree with them. They could not be released. She needed to know what Solas was planning but the Well's patience was wearing thin. They didn't want to talk, to mediate. Mythal had been the peacekeeper and look what happened to her. But the voices were not the only ones getting stronger. Every Kana's her leg grew stronger, she was able to walk farther and with less dependence on her staff. Kana had taken over her own recuperation and poultice application, allowing Mihris to focus her attention back onto her hospital where Kana mainly deployed her time after the day Adris dragged her out of bed. That had been last week.

Sunlight filtered in through the makeshift city of tents and Kana spotted Mihris across the way handling a group of scouts who had unfortunately stumbled across a dragon's nest. Kana could only imagine where they had been; somewhere dry and dusty by the look of their cracked lips and sun burned skin. It made her think of the Approach, of the Fade, and of…

 _No._

She wasn't going to think about him. Kana had resigned Solas to the back of her mind. He'd been gone for almost two weeks. Whatever he was doing, Kana knew that it wouldn't be a waste of that time. She was not going to be clingy, needy. Kana was going to show him her strength so she could stand with him. But Thedas, she was worried. He could be anywhere, doing anything. She missed him so much, as if their single conversation was as toxic as arsenic, each dose doubling the effect he had on her.

" _Hate, fear, he never loved you…"_

Kana squeezed her eyes shut and balled her fists. Along with their patience, so had their words turned sour. The ancient elvhen were trapped inside her head with only themselves and her to talk to. Kana was empathetic but she would not let them harm Solas.

The voices left Kana to her work. It was easy to ignore them when all they did was talk but today was a bad day. The scouts were taking much of her energy and mana. Adris sat lazily in a chair on the corner, feet propped up on a table, rocking back and forth with a nerve grating _squeak_. The Marshall come away with a few minor scratches but was otherwise unhurt. He was there to make sure his men were cared for which was, of course, unnecessary. But there was something else going on today, something that no one had bothered to tell her about it seemed. Everyone was lighter, enthusiastic, despite the injured, and Adris had a small smile on his face…as if he was just waiting for whatever it was to come through the tent flaps.

And someone did, however, Adris' interest died down once he realized it was just Cole.

" _Fire in my belly, like Nana's spicy recipes. I could never tell her that I didn't like them."_

If Compassion was here, then yes…it wouldn't be long.

Kana cast another sideways look at Mihris who caught her eye and nodded. The healer was as disheveled as Kana was. Gone was Kana's armor, replaced by leggings and a short sleeved tunic with a leather torso wrap. Her left arm, turbulent violet peaked faintly emitted an eerie light in the dimly lit tent. The People had gotten used to her unconventional arm and the smiths had even begun to try and replicate Dagna's band, hoping to use the same technique for other people. Kana wore an apron as well, to try and spare the blood from her attire. She also wore foot wraps and couldn't stop herself from digging her toes into the grass below her through the day. It fell so akin to being home. Before, Skyhold had been confining, with only her tower room giving any comfort or solitude. Now, no one cared about her ears, her clothes, her arm. This place had become more of a home than it had ever been.

With her patient bandaged and taken care of, Kana wiped her hands on a rag and then dunked it in a bucket of water to finish the job. She had another task assigned to her that day and it wouldn't do to go scaring off her pupils.

Suddenly, the squeaking in the corner stopped and Kana looked over Adris' way. His eyes met hers but then drifted to the entrance of the hospital. It seemed all the noise outside had quieted and so had everyone inside as well. Kana held her breath and turned back to her scout. He was still breathing while she was not. Kana put the rag down and finally faced the entrance.

Solas was back…and he was standing right in front of her.


	26. Chapter 26

**Disclaimer: I don't own Dragon Age.**

 **...**

Chapter 26:

Solas walked across Skyhold absentmindedly. He knew where he was going but wasn't sure if his legs would take him there right away. He was stalling again.

That morning had been one of rush. He'd woken with the dawn, glad to see Kana still asleep, and snuck out into the Great Hall. Word had spread that the Wolf was back. Food was offered to him but Solas refused it and kept walking. He went to the Rotunda, the only space that always seemed to calm his nerves and stood directly in the center of the room, admiring his frescoes.

" _What troubles you, Dread Wolf?"_ Mythal mused, short and sweet. It always startled him when she decided to speak and he crossed his arms over his chest. The spirit within his body knew very well what was wrong. He didn't have to answer her.

" _I want to hear you say it."_

Solas lifted a hand to squeeze the bridge of his nose. She would get what she wanted…no need to fight her over it.

" _I don't know what to do."_

" _Yes, you do…you can see many pathways...you are just not sure which to take. You should talk to her again."_

" _I can't, she…"_

" _Loves you."_

Solas began to pace. It was true…and _he_ loved _her_. Maybe there was a way he couldn't see. He asked this of his friend but she didn't respond. He wasn't sure if that was a good sign or not. He didn't get a chance to ponder it because a messenger burst into the Rotunda from the bridge.

"Message, Sir." The Tal-Vasoth were bracing for another attack.

It was the perfect excuse to go kill something.

…

Adris pulled his bow string back and released the shot, putting an arrow between the eyes of a raging Qunari. It seemed pointless to him, all this killing and for what? A forest? There were other forests in Thedas, why couldn't they just go there. Adris figured that this wasn't so much about the land anymore.

It was about Solas and Garsiv.

It was about proving something.

It was about pride…and it was childish.

The old archer rallied his bowmen for another barrage and was about to let the arrows fly when someone else joined the fray. Adris was filled with both parts excitement and concern.

How long had he been back? Had he seen the girl?

The Marshall didn't have time to think about it as Solas leapt into the fray to fight alongside his men. The Qunari didn't last long.

Once the battle was done, Adris went to greet his friend but a strange sight met his eyes. No longer in wolf form, Solas stood amongst the trees, eyes glazed and mouth slightly agape. He seemed aware of everything and nothing at the same time. He was thinking, his hands, armor, covered in blood.

"Fen'Harel?" Adris addressed him, and Solas looked towards the Marshall's direction. The ancient elvhen rebel said nothing.

"Have you seen her?" Solas shook his head.

"No."

"She's been waiting for you." It was then that his gaze was met.

"I know."

Adris rubbed a hand over his chin, not knowing what more to say. Solas was in a rare mood.

"She'd working in the healer's hospital now. You should go see her…and soon." The mage nodded his head.

"I'll be along. I need some time." And with that, Adris gave it to him. As the Marshall walked away, he could swear he hear Solas arguing with someone. But the glade was empty. Fen'Harel was talking to a ghost.

Adris made his way back to Arlathan. His children had jobs and lives of their own. He would visit them later…but right now, he was going to go visit Skyhold, more precisely, Mihris' hospital. He would go sit and wait for Fen'Harel to show the same amount of bravery that he did on the battle field.

…

Kana's mind went blank, a white canvas or sheet lifted over her thoughts. Her head began to swim and her eyes began to glaze and in the back of her mind she could feel them.

" _Fen'Harel. We will stop him…we will…even if you won't."_

Kana braced herself for an attack on her will but nothing happened. She swallowed hard and looked at the man in front of her. There were circles around his eyes and she wondered if he'd been sleeping or even eating enough. Her hands were shaking but she began to wipe them on her apron to disguise the tremors. She would not show weakness. She would not tell about the voices for fear of losing him. Kana would beat them down again as she had before. She had too.

Kana had been fighting with herself, not just the Vir'Abelasan, all week. She'd made up her mind: she was going to stay, stay and help his cause…even if he didn't want her to, even if he didn't want _her_.

Kana took a few steps towards her vehnan, keeping her mouth passive; hands folded in front of her and met his eyes.

"Welcome home, Solas."

Kana smiled then. She wanted to run to him and wrap her arms around his neck and kiss him until they were both breathless and aching and more. She wanted to show him the goodness of this world, to change his mind in her own way. There needn't be more violence, more death. She needed to show both the Vir'Abelasan and the Dread Wolf that.

And there it was, that same gnawing, biting in the center of her chest, a feeling that built up under her rib cage until Kana was afraid that she wouldn't be able to stand it any longer. Her eyes fell away then lifted back up. She tried keeping the blood from her cheeks, tried to attribute it to the abnormally warm autumn day and the stuffy tent.

"Thank you." Solas said, entering the hospital fully and eyeing Adris in the corner. He knew that the man had chosen this area as a haunt for the sole reason of seeing his friend make a fool of himself before a woman. Solas gave the Marshall a glare and the man simply smiled.

Kana went back to work, trying her best to seem unaffected by his coming. There were other people she needed to tend to.

Solas didn't know what to say. He'd come here to talk to her but she seemed busy…content. He turned his attention to the scout on the cot in front of her. Kana was covered in his blood but there would be no saving him. He walked over and stood beside her as she continued kneading healing magic into the man's wound.

"Kana." Her name drifted from his mouth like honey and the woman it belonged to focused herself entirely on her patient, trying to ignore her beloved. The man before her would live. She needed him to.

He said it again but with more urgency this time but Kana ignored him and kept going. Her legs were beginning to shake, her vision becoming foggy. She wasn't sure if she could stop now. The Vir'Abelasan was punishing her, funneling her mana against her will. She'd fought dragons, darkspawn, behemoths…now she was fighting a war inside her own body.

And then her magic was gone, the connection severed by a man with glowing eyes and, like a spring trap, Kana was thrust back into her head with the full force of it. Then man below her gave one last sigh and left the waking world forever.

Solas looked between the nurse and her patient, unsure what had just occurred. He reached out a hand to try and give her comfort at the scout's passing but she shook him off, going to a table and cleaning of her hands. Cole watched the exchange but the gaze Kana gave him kept his mouth shut. He left his perch, going to sit near another patient closer to where Mihris was.

Something grey and metal caught Kana's eye on the table next to the bowl of water. A surgical knife, gleaming and sharp. Her right hand drifted down from the bowl, finger tips grazing the instrument until a ruckus from the yard snapped her out of it. Kana took a few deep breathes and turned her attention away.

"I'm leaving for today." Kana informed Mihris, wiping her damp hands on her apron.

Solas saw the opportunity she was hopefully giving him and begged a boon of her.

"May I walk with you?" Kana looked over her other shoulder as she untied her apron, watching him watching her.

"You may." She said before taking the article from her neck to fold it over itself and place it on a nearby crate.

Solas surveyed her form, her short sleeved and toeless attire, her violet arm, her hair braided back away from her face. She was so beautiful.

"You may come but I am needed elsewhere." Kana informed, standing before him, looking up at him. Her face was red, her face slightly pressed in discomfort. Was this his doing? Solas almost didn't register what she was saying. He was tracing the lines of her mouth as it moved.

Kana gathered herself and walked past Fen'Harel then turned to make sure he was following.

He was.

The two elvhen left the hospital and Solas followed her up the steps to the right and then up the second set to the ramparts. The mountain air was crisp and a breeze caressed their skin. He noticed a light sheen to Kana's face, a blush to her skin.

"How is your leg?" He asked and she looked at him as though she'd forgotten he was there. Nothing could be farther from the truth.

"Better. Mihris is an excellent healer. I can walk farther every day. The steps…" She paused and looked back where they'd come from.

"My apologies…I've been pacing myself and steps are something that helps. We could have gone a different way." That was not the only reason to walk the ramparts. She needed a blast of that cold air. She couldn't allow her guard down anymore.

"No, I understand." Solas said and an awkward silence passed between the lovers. Kana's cheeks grew hotter but it wasn't because of the climb anymore. He was here, before her once again. She'd found him. Damned if she was going to lose him again. But she didn't know how to act. Nothing was settled and Kana didn't want to push it, to find out how he felt at the risk of losing him forever. Things were precarious enough. But she had to try.

"Solas." He shifted his gaze back to her then followed her neck, to her shoulder, and finally ended on her outstretched right hand.

"Humor me…for my leg." She said and slowly, but before he could change his mind, he took that welcoming hand. Their fingers interlocked between them like threads in a tapestry and both were silent for another moment, relishing the small press of bare skin. Kana sighed then caught her love's gaze, her face reddening once more. She smiled.

"Come, I'd like you to meet my students."


	27. Chapter 27

**Disclaimer: I don't own Dragon Age.**

 **...**

Chapter 27:

The two elvhen walked to the garden from the Great Hall. The massive room was bustling, even more so with the news of Fen'Harel's return. All momentarily paused as they, still hand in hand, entered, but each quickly resumed whatever it is they were initially doing. Kana watched Solas' reaction. It was passive, smooth as always, but there was the slightest twitch of an eyebrow. She knew that the attention still unnerved him. Kana on the other hand had become adjusted to commanding an audience, making speeches, giving the responsibility on her shoulders. The woman simply smiled at those who met her eyes, but more often than not numerous lines of sight drifted to their interlocking hands. Solas hadn't noticed. He either didn't want to fight his vehnan or he was so comfortable in the position that its existence simply slipped his mind.

Kana pulled Solas along and out into the garden. Over the last few weeks she'd set her mind to tending it again, sitting on the ground being good rest for her leg and work for her hands. The beds had been taken care of put poorly. Kana was glad to have set them right. It was then that she'd thought of passing on her numerous skills…but that was not all she wanted to pass along. Kana glanced at Solas as he took in her handy work with a kind of glowing appreciation. The corners of her mouth pressed up slightly but her eyebrows shifted down. She remembered growing up in clan Lavellan, being the outsider, being a mage. She remembered nights around campfires and stories of the Pantheon and of Fen'Harel. And now she knew the truth about the ancient rebel…and the man before her, clutching her hand. She glanced down at the interlocking appendages and squeezed.

Solas looked from the garden to Kana. She wasn't looking at him anymore. Her mind was a million miles away with a face that depicted something he recognized: bitterness and passion and determination all rolled into one. He wondered what she was thinking about but before he was brave, or rather detached, enough to ask, Kana lead him further into the garden.

Summer was ebbing away slowly, bringing forth the cold. Not that there wasn't always a slight chill to Skyhold's mountainous air. Kana's skin prickled but it was a welcoming affect. She had lived outdoors for most of her life and could easily radiate heat magic.

"Come," she said to Solas, "I think you will be impressed."

Solas allowed Kana to guide him forward to the far corner of the garden, to the gazebo where those of the Inquisition used to be inclined to beat each other at chess. No one had ever been able to beat their rugged apostate. If there was one thing Solas had never hidden about his character, it was a love for strategy, politics, outwitting another and taking the battle field. Fen'Harel, in his youth, had been intemperate. Solas had learned much from his younger years and strived to make sure he never made the same mistakes...but the man seemed to be forming a habit with his vehnan. His younger self wouldn't have cared about a mission that would bring only his likely death. Fen'Harel would have taken Kana Lavellan long ago…and possibly thrown her aside just as easily. But watching the woman before him, so strong, so alive, it warmed his aching heart in the chilling air.

Before the stone gazebo, Solas found a change in decoration: tables and chairs neatly placed in rows before a larger one atop the grey structure. He knew immediately what it was.

A few children, varying in ages, sizes, and origins, meandered around the makeshift school room, or rather, yard. Solas was indeed impressed.

"The idea came to me a week ago, the need for stability, community. I asked around and was offered use of the tavern in the mornings but I thought this would be a more suited place, especially since most of these children have chores to complete early on in the day."

Kana's face took a somber turn before she finished speaking. Solas couldn't take his eyes off of her.

"They are all mages. Either tower rescues or runaways or Dalish. Only a few come from alienages, those cases are the most recently developed magic."

Kana's gaze rested on Solas' face and she squeezed his hand again, feeling sadness catch in her throat. Teaching and passing along knowledge was not the only reason she'd started this school. All these children were just like her: orphaned. Elvhen mages from the Circle defiantly didn't know their parents anymore. The children still wary of the 'flat ears' were lucky in regards to the knowledge and love of their parentage or the fact that here, in Skyhold, in Arlathan, in Fen'Harel's empire, no clan would ever have to ostracize a child in order to keep away suspicion and Templars. Kana hadn't had a place like this, where other children could understand and learn and grow. She would give it to them, the next generation of elves to shape Thedas.

"Most would have died. Your cause saved them."

Solas looked around, counting the number of chairs and the number of faces. There were more children than chairs and he concluded that this group was only living in Skyhold. What about Arlathan, the other camps? What about those mage's children? What about children in general. With proper education in place, the next generation could be freed from lies and prejudice and…

…And then Solas allowed himself to see, opening the door just a crack, no lingering peek through the key hole everyone in a while.

He saw what this small, fragile, makeshift school could accomplish. There had been schools of magic during the time of Elvehnan but it was for the elite and very expensive. Slaves were not admitted, the lower class wasn't admitted. The children who were now venturing closer, latching onto Kana's healthy leg and abnormal arm would have never been allowed to attend. Their shining faces and curious eyes regarded him with caution but also with wonder. They knew who he was or at least the idea of him, Fen'Harel, the Dread Wolf, their savior and leader. Solas wondered if they knew about Kana as well, what she had done for them, for Thedas.

This school, these few magelings, could change the world, not with force and maneuvering but with seeds and growth, taking the theoretical compost and nurturing a tree from it, something alive, healthy. Something good could take root, starting small them devouring everything, touching everyone.

But this was not within his plans.

Solas jerked his hand away from the inspiration before him, to her injury and shock.

"Solas?" She mused but he was already distant, turning, walking away, his feet ready to take him anywhere. He was at the door before he heard Kana excusing herself, calling for another pair of adult eyes, to chase after him.

He marched across the stone floor like a thunder storm. It was time. He needed to end this now if he ever hoped of sending her away.

Their deal be damned. The Sentinels and Abelas be damned.

Kana Lavellan be damned.

Why did she always have to change things?!

…

Kana didn't like leaving her students but the look on Solas' face told her that she had to go after him. His expression had been a mix of anger, bitterness, and sadness. It was that sadness that stove off her worry and apprehension. Whatever she had done, said, it had gotten to him…and Kana was glad of it.

She followed him through the Great Hall, slowing her pace when she realized where he was going: the tower room.

Kana ignored the looks that left Solas' back to find her face as she walked after him, her own level of determination rising from her eyes like smoke.

She reached the door and pushed it open and closed it shut right behind her. Kana hesitated at the base of those familiar steps. How many times had she traveled them? How many times had Solas?

She lifted a leg to press the bottom of her wrapped foot to the cool stone but a throbbing made its way back into her head. Kana swore inwardly to herself. She'd pushed herself enough today with the earlier climb. Kana had expected to be seated and resting for the length of her class, enough time to gain back some energy. Now there was no time…and Solas knew that. She had two choices: play it safe and go back to the garden, abandoning Solas to his angry thoughts, or throwing caution to the wind and suffering through it, despite the argument that surely awaited her up above and the possibility of aggravating her leg wound.

The first was what the Vir'Abelasan wanted her to do.

The second was what Kana Lavellan was _going_ to do.

And so up she went, one painful step at a time.

"Solas," Kana said pleadingly into the room as she reached the final height. She was sweating heavily, her leg throbbing…but this was important.

He didn't answer her, but paced before her desk – his desk - , fists and teeth clenched in contemplation.

Who did this woman think she was?!

 _Last of both clan Lavellan and Mhiranis, an experienced mage…_

" _Herald of Andraste, Inquisitor, Savior of the Templar Order, the Grey Wardens, the Empress of Orlais and of all Thedas…"_

Solas didn't really want Mythal to talk to him right now. He had to make a choice.

" _Then choose, Dread Wolf. You see the possibilities before you. Is destruction really your only option? You are running out of time. Both of you."_

He went to question that last statement but his old friend remained quiet. He heard Kana breath his name again, raspy and exhausted. She'd climbed all those stairs. Turning, he saw her leaning against the side of the sofa, trying to take pressure off her leg. He forced himself not to smile at her determination. The room was the same as it had always been, a mountainous breeze flitted in through the open balcony doors. He'd been informed that Kana had moved anything of her to a room above the garden for her leg. She had still climbed all those forsaken steps.

Then his expression changed to a scowl. He was a selfish man.

"You should sit down," was all that he was able to muster from his sour mouth. Kana ignored his advice, wiping a hand across her forehead, brushing aside her untidy bangs.

Instead of heeding his advice, Kana walked forward, trading the sofa for the desk, to stand in front of her vehnan, brows furrowed, fingers gripping the wood. The two elvhen contemplated each other for what must have seemed an eternity, until her breathing evened out and Solas' eyes were begging him to no longer stare. Kana focused her gaze and spoke first.

"Whats going to happen when you bring down the Veil?" Whatever questions he'd been expecting, that wasn't the one at the top of the list, more deep down, only reached after pulling teeth and weeds from the pile. Solas wracked his brain for the answer, sighing to himself in defeat.

"I don't, precisely, know what will happen. I know the way the world used to be. I know the way the world is now. I cannot say with certainty what such a monumental shift would cause to occur." The answer was steaming, stewing behind her crystalline eyes but a tremor shook through Kana's arm, the one she was using to hold her weight against the desk. At this rate…

"But you said, at the Exalted Council, that it would destroy the world."

"Of course it will destroy the world, the world according to all humans, mages, countries, to the current order of things. That _is_ for certain. Remember what I said in Haven, the Fade would be returned to a state of nature. I'm sure many Chantry followers wouldn't be able to comprehend much less accept and live in such a controversial state of being. There will be chaos, there will be fear...but there will be beauty," at this, Solas lifted a hand to her face, thumb trailing over Kana's cheek bone.

"…And all will be right again." He finished and it seemed to pacify Kana, as if she agreed with him. The thought made his breath catch in his throat…but he couldn't…if she knew…

He couldn't tell her the price for what he intended to accomplish. But she was not finished with her questions. She was ready to flay him alive.

"And what of the Evanuris? I doubt they will forgive millennia of imprisonment."

Solas paused, not sure how to answer her. This was precisely what he hadn't wanted to discuss so soon. There was no need for her to know. It would spare her pain.

 _"Spare you or her, Dread Wolf? You are not the only one facing inner calamities."_

He knew Mythal was hinting at something, but as usual, she refused to talk in a straight line.

"I have plans, precautions. They will not be freed."

This was as good an answer as he could tell her and a peace seemed to settle onto her face.

Inside her head however, the Vir'Abelasan yelled questions, wanting to know specifically what the Dread Wolf intended to do. They were not pacified as Kana hoped they would be. They were not ready to put the fate of the world into the god of rebellion's hands. Not like she was.

There was one more inquiry she needed to understand.

"Then why?" Kana asked, her voice shaky, gazing up at the man she loved. Solas let that question bypass his mind. His tantrum was over…he had work to do.

"I…need to go." He said, barely above a whisper, like a tease to her eardrums. Solas was leaving her again. She wouldn't let him this time. He was only a foot away behind her but the sudden movement, the twist of her body, sent a chain reaction through Kana's leg. She felt the familiar dampening of her pant leg and the pain that accompanied.

"Solas!" she exclaimed, out of fear, out of love, and before the elvhen man could change his mind, his body made the decision, like a key clicking into a lock.

He caught her before she could stumble, before she could fall. She fell into _him_. And neither let go. There was a moment of surprise, of stiffness, but then the air settled and they still held on. Kana's fingers, having grasped him in emergency, now squeezed tighter, burying into the fabric of his clothes. Kana slowly looked up, bare toes dangling above Solas' own. Her eyes were big, brows turned up, adding to a pouting mouth. Solas let the air in his body out through his nose and slowly let her down, weight resting on her uninjured leg. His gaze grazed the top of her head, her brown hair. He didn't dare look down at her.

Until he did.

Kana's face flushed, eyes wide and her modesty began to win out. During they days of the Inquisition, she and Solas had shared few truly intimate moments, their love born of companionship and mutual love of all things ancient and unknown. It had been slow, burning, never had it been as bright as it burned now, with her in his arms.

"I...um...I..."

Kana's hands, which were pressed between their chests, pressed flat against his, trying to maneuver some room. Her trek up the stairs and her bleeding leg were making her slightly light headed.

"Sorry." she muttered but Solas didn't let her go, instead, his face came closer, his upper back bending to meet her height.

This was maddening. All was fine if he kept his distance, if he kept himself passive but anytime his name left her mouth, something melted within him. He wanted to know, really wanted to know. He did not let her go, instead pressing his cheek to her temple, holding her tighter. He could feel the heat from her face and near smiled.

Kana, upon realizing that he didn't intend to let her go just yet, relaxed completely, fully, relinquishing all her strength to him. She was an abnormally tough woman…but this man in her arms, he was her vehnan. She maneuvered her hands from between them and laced them around his sides to grip into his back. Kana buried her face in the space where his shoulder met his neck and breathed him in, filling up her chest, the once empty place where an organ pumped blood through her body and out her opened wound. She felt as if she was bleeding love and magic into the room and Solas felt it. He felt her, strong beneath his hands, and matched her desperation, pressing his nose into her hair then traveling down to her neck.

They were like a puzzle that only had two complete pieces and Kana, for the first time in her life, truly knew love. She'd seen it, between bonded couples who wore knots around their wrists, between the halla her clan herded. She was a halla…but Solas…he had always been a wolf. Kana pulled her head back, her cheek brushing Solas' ear, his own cheek, the corner of her mouth pressing to his smooth skin.

Kana's face was stern, soaked in conviction, and blushing.

"I love you."

She admitted it freely, without regret and Solas pulled back, coming to face her, to meet her serious eyes. But Kana wasn't finished yet. She needed him to know, to believe.

"Fen'Harel…Solas…Dread Wolf. Whatever name you may take…that will never change."

Her hand drifted upwards to grip the collar of his coat. The man in question felt exactly the same way…but about her, Kana Lavellan, his little Dalish mage.

"And I you. Ma emma lath."

But his words were laced with the sadness and regret that both exhibited. It didn't come from the fact that they loved each other but from the fact that there was no room for their love at present time. After a week of living in Skyhold, of helping Mhiris in her hospital, following Adris around the ancient capital, the scale of Solas' plans had truly sunk in. And she would help. She wouldn't be a burden and she wouldn't let her love for him be one either. He'd waited ages to try and fix his mistakes. She was not going to take that from him. But she would not allow him to leave her behind either.

If this bit of time, this simple recognition of what they felt, was all she was going to get of the man who had her heart then she would take it.

Solas leaned down once more, pressing his forehead to her's, content enough to simply be close. Kana would never tire of his embrace, his smell, his entire being and a small smile formed on her mouth, one that Solas couldn't help but add to and they put a little more strength behind their grips.

But then something that wasn't their hearts began pulsing in the press of their chests.

The two elvhen separated only enough to find the culprit. Kana's surprise was obvious. Begrudgingly removing one hand from her beloved, Kana fumbled with the neck of her tunic, fishing out one of the necklaces she always wore. She looked from the locket back to Solas who didn't understand the context.

"It's Dorian."


	28. Chapter 28

**Disclaimer: I don't own Dragon Age.  
**

 **Hey everyone, for those that just clicked to this last chapter, I rewrote the story because my chapters were too numerous and too short. Its the same story but I hope you like it enough to perhaps read it over again for my changes. Thanks for all the support, please tell me what you think. Did you like my shorter chapters or do you like longer ones? I'm not going to rewrite it again so this is how its gonna be. Please review. More to come. Read, review, enjoy.**

...

Chapter 28:

Dorian Pavus was angry with her.

"You've been missing for over two months. Leliana and I would have thought that you would have contacted us by now! Your deadline was three days ago." The newly appointed magister fussed at her from the small jewel in her hand. Kana had been reluctant to answer his call. What would she say, that she'd found Fen'Harel and that she loved him just as much as always. The man in question, after helping her to sit against his desk, was pressed to her side, a hand around her waist, his mind a million miles away. Kana sidled up against him like an affectionate familiar. Even his distant affection was preferable to none. He kept quiet, not wanting to reveal himself or Kana's whereabouts. She would thank him for the discretion later. But there was something here that bothered her. She had forgotten the set deadline, the day she'd promised to contact them no matter what. It was not like her to be so forgetful. Kana swallowed, trying to push the worry for her face. Dorian continued ranting.

"You're the Inquisitor for goodness sakes; you can't just keep disappearing on us. Leliana didn't approve of me contacting you now but I had too: the situation is dire." Solas turned his head from where he'd been staring at the fireplace, his eyes shifting down to the small object in Kana's raised, right palm. Something was defiantly wrong.

The elvhen woman let the title Dorian had called her by slip.

"Whats wrong, Dorian?" The magister on the other end breathed a sigh. Whatever information he had to convey was indeed not pleasant.

"Kana, where are you?" The question took her aback and she looked to Solas, their faces close enough that she ended up looking at his cheek. He shook his head, eyes drifting downward. Kana's leg was bleeding. It needed to be tended to. Solas thought about going and getting Mihris, leaving Kana to talk to the magister but the opportunity was not to be wasted. Solas respected Dorian but whatever information he had needed to be heard by them both, even if the man in question wasn't aware of it.

Solas bent slightly, a hand going to her thigh. Nearly all thought exited Kana's brain. She marveled at him and the reaction she had to him but his hand came away red. He met her eyes and Kana flashed a flustered smile. The touch had nothing behind it other than a thought to her health. Solas berated himself for not remembering how much of a child she still was. He'd lived longer than she could imagine. He glanced to the side at her profile and swallowed quietly to himself. How much time did she have left, truly. How much time did they?

"Kana?" Dorian questioned and she remembered his inquiry and answered slightly flustered.

"Oh, um…I can't really say." It was true, Kana couldn't tell him where she was…but Dorian took it as the other meaning. Solas wiped the blood on a rag he had nearby and went to move away from her, his arm vacating her side.

"Are you anywhere close to Tevinter, to Minrathous?" Solas paused in his gait. His body went rigid. Kana looked at his back before answering, her mind going to imagine the muscle underneath his robes. She tried to clear her mind…but she was in deep.

"What is the matter? What is happening in Tevinter?" Kana didn't want to disclose much about her location but she knew Solas, and knew that he would have at least one Eluvian stationed in the slaving country. It seemed that everything was coming full circle. She was glad to have sent Leliana to aid Dorian. Trouble was brewing.

Solas stayed where he was, barely two steps away, looking slightly over his shoulder. He needed to hear. Scouts had been reporting disconcerting events in Tevinter…if Dorian had called Kana then…

He had to use all his self control not to yank the chain from around his beloved's neck and smash that damned thing. He didn't want her knowing about it, about anything. She needed to stay here, safe, in Skyhold.

"Kana…I need to know one more thing. Have you found Fen'Harel?" The name was strange from Dorian's voice and both elves could tell he had trouble saying it. Solas thought it was because of a disbelief in his existence. Kana knew it was because Dorian Pavus hated him more than anything in the world…only because he'd hurt her.

"I…" Kana began. Solas turned back towards her, his face downturned. She didn't know what he wanted her to say.

"I can't really say on that account either." There was a pause but Dorian eventually began speaking again. It was welcome, knowing that he accepted her answer, but what he spoke of sent ice through her spine.

"There have been rebellions in Tevinter, across Thedas even, elves rising up in the name of Fen'Harel. They've gone on rampages, burning mansions, killing humans. I don't know if Solas has anything to do with it but the situation isn't good. Elves are using him as an excuse." Kana's face turned towards her vehnan. His own looked dark and dangerous, angry. He wanted as little violence as possible. She reached out, edging along the desk to grab his hand.

"There has been talk among the magisters about purging the alienages. They are threatening war, Kana. Leliana, Maevaris and I are doing all we can, trying to calm the situation but it's dire. More than half are planning to support the vote."

Solas' sudden grip surprised her. He knew what Dorian was going to ask…and it terrified him.

"Kana, I ask you to come to Tevinter. You're the Inquisitor, if anyone could calm things down, it would be you, the Inquisitor and an elf."

"I…" Kana went to speak again but Solas' face caught her eye. She couldn't begin to comprehend the emotions reflecting across it. Gone was the passive mask and revealed underneath was a torrent of anger, frustration, fear, desperation. Kana stilled her racing heart and squeezed his hand. She would talk with him first. Tevinter, especially for an elf, was not the best place to visit.

"Dorian, I…need to think. I may not even be able to reach you anytime soon." Dorian's sigh could be heard over the crystal.

"Okay but please, think fast. The vote is to be called in a week. I would counter it with you at my side as another voice of reason." Solas' face hadn't changed but it was quieter now, as if he was deep in thought himself.

"I don't know where you are, Kana, but please be careful. You're one of the only friends I have, remember? It wouldn't do to have you go off and get killed." Kana forced a chuckle for Dorian's effort.

"Thank you, Dorian."

"Goodbye."

Kana's clicked the locket closed and looked to Solas. Before she'd even opened her mouth to say anything, he had already answered.

"No."

A protest escaped her lips.

"Didn't you hear what Dorian said? They are planning to purge the alienages, Solas. If my being there will pacify the situation then I must go!"

"You can't even walk up a flight of stairs"

"Because a certain someone is so bent on his own course of action when there are plenty of other paths to take. For someone who believes in everything being middle grey, you certainly follow a very black and white ideal yourself."

And here they were again, arguing. He stood before her, inches from her. She would not let his closeness nor the caresses they'd just shared interfere this time. Kana needed to reach him, for her sake and for his own.

"That is not true. My plans are the only path left to take for the restoration of the People." The sentence fell from his lips like a lie but his voice was convincing enough that Kana bought his conviction. There were other ways, other paths, he'd seen one such way in the garden, full of bright young faces. But there was one fact he could do nothing about at all. The Evanuris could not be unleashed back upon the world. The only way to keep them caged without the Veil required dark magic, soul magic. There was no future for him, for Fen'Harel, past the Veil. It pressed in on his innermost being like rock.

 _I don't want to die alone._

He looked down at Kana. With the time he had given himself to have left, he would make sure she was safe, comfortable. He would make sure that the empire and the elvhen were left with a better world than the last time he'd gone to sleep. The only difference was that this time, this sacrifice, he wouldn't wake up again.

Kana watched Solas go through emotion after emotion, thought after thought.

"Why don't you want me to go?" She asked, getting to the root of the issue. She wanted to hear his reasoning, to understand him. Kana could guess at the explanation but didn't want to assume anything, even after their whispered words.

Solas scowled, his mouth twisting.

"You know why." He said simply and took a step back, scowl turning to a puppy-dog look. The tenderness on his face made Kana sigh and stand, against the pain in her still throbbing leg. It needed to be looked after. She wanted him to be the one to do it.

"Help me?" she asked, reaching out her right arm for him to take. She needed to sit down, fully. Solas helped her to the bed, understanding her request.

"I've been keeping bandages and elfroot in that drawer." She said, gesturing to the one at the left side of the bed. Solas left her on the edge of the mattress and retrieved her medical stash, taking it up in his arms after studying each vial, each package carefully for what he'd need.

As soon as his back was turned Kana untucked her tunic, one that thankfully fell mid-thigh then proceeded to remove her leggings, folding them neatly to be washed later. Their removal was the only practical way to dress the wound. Thedas help her.

Thedas help _him_. Solas had stood and turned to find Kana undressing from the waist down. Her back was to him but Solas could see the slight taint of pink on the tips of her ears, the modest curve of her back. It was practical, to be able to bandage her leg. He swallowed hard, his throat dry. Any feelings of anger he'd had were soon replaced by something else.

The area around her wound was damp, dark, and left a streak of red down the rest of her leg. She eased her own healing magic into it to calm it down but that only seemed to stop the bleeding. It still gushed if moved. The stitches remained intact; there was only a little tearing. The underside of the wound was still closed. It was only the entrance wound that was agitated. Kana stared at her leg as Solas came back around the bed, bending down to care for her.

Solas kept his face passive. Kana felt like her's was going to melt off her skull. She stumbled for something to say, something to break the silence, especially when his long fingers met her skin, slow and tentatively brushing around the injury. No need to go back to the hospital. Solas thoughts drifted back to the children still waiting in the garden. They needed their teacher…but he didn't want to let her leave. He was a selfish man.

"What is your favorite color?" She pulled Solas from his mind and he landed back in the tower room, Kana before him, his hands on her bare – bleeding – but bare leg. He released a small smile from behind his passiveness.

"It doesn't exist anymore." He said softly. Kana could hear the sadness. There was always a trace of it when he talked about the time before the Veil. She couldn't blame him though.

"What was it most akin to?" She asked, honestly curious about the man before her. She loved him, loved him with all her being but how much did she actually know about him. Now that his identity was no longer a secret, there needn't be any apprehension, any reluctance. She wanted to know everything about him. He already knew most everything about her. It was only fair.

Solas smiled wider and began to wipe the blood from her leg, trying his best at a comparison.

"Imagine a sunset or sunrise, pink and red, blooming, then try combining it with something like the ocean, blue and dark, soft, lapping waves. Such things, images, feelings, were lost." Kana's mind lingered on how he'd said feelings before picturing both bits of nature in her head but failed at any kind of mixture. It discouraged her.

"Now, however, I guess it would simply be blue." Solas looked up as she tilted her head in thought. He almost wanted her to question him about that choice too, if only to tell her it was because of the color of her eyes.

Kana watched him tend her leg, content with the task she'd appointed herself. She needed to see this color, this image for herself.

Suddenly, it was as if she was yanked from her body, pulled backwards and falling into her own subconsciousness. Flashes of images appeared before her eyes and Kana realized that it was the Vir'Abelasan acting against her. She resurfaced, trying to push her way up out of the sea. Terrific use of the situation, turning something Solas had mentioned into something to kill her with.

Kana was vaguely aware of a slight twitching of her body. She hoped Solas attributed it to the pain in her leg.

" _Stop. Didn't you hear. The Evanuris will not escape. The People will be restored! Isn't that enough?"_

There was no answer but it was apparent. They did not trust the Dread Wolf. They didn't want his plans to succeed _._ Kana shouted at them internally before finally pulling herself back into the boat, into her body. But she was cast adrift in a large body of water with no one to help her to shore. Aware once more, Kana looked down at Solas. He was already wrapping her leg. How much time had passed?

Kana swallowed hard, the weight of her internal battle pressing in on her. Her eyes watered but she held them back. She held them back for this man. He had plenty of other things to worry about than her. Abelas would be arriving soon. If she could talk to him, find a way to stop these attacks without Solas knowing, no harm done then.

Kana's thoughts turned to him now, the man tucking a slip of cloth into another, his palms coming to rest on either side of her knee. Kana breathed a sigh and let her shoulders slump, letting the feeling flood her mind. He was here, something to hold onto. The Vir'Abelasan would not win, not when she had Solas. The reaction of her body was heightening, her face fully flushed and Solas felt it too. He inched his fingers higher, coming to a stop mid-thigh, at the edge of her tunic. He would allow himself no further. It was unconventional. If the time ever came, he was determined to do it right. However, that didn't stop him from caressing the skin there, soft and strong with muscle. Kana closed her eyes, relishing the feeling. But then his hands were gone and he was standing, looking down at her, nearly as flushed as she was. One corner of his mouth smiled.

"I'll find you another pair of pants. Your students are still waiting." Kana, for a moment, was mortified by the thought of being late to lessons but then it edged away, retreating back behind the need she felt in her ribs and below. But now was not the time. Kana didn't know if a time for them ever would come.

He was Fen'Harel; she was the Savior of Thedas. Both were heroes in their own rights and neither were sure that the world would ever let them be true and unyielding lovers.

...

 **I'm not kidding. Please review. Thanks!  
**


	29. Chapter 29

**Disclaimer: I don't own Dragon Age**

 **Hello, readers and reviewers. Thank you so much for your patience. As I've said before, I'm in collage and now taking two writing classes. It. Is. Hard.**

 **But I plan to pick this back up again if not now then soon. I do have the plot planned out, its just finding the time to leisurely write is difficult.**

 **Thank you all so much for the support. Also, this is a really long chapter. Please read, review, and enjoy.**

 **...**

Chapter 29:

Solas stayed and watched her in the garden, he himself lounging in one corner, lying back on a bench, a book in one hand, the other behind his head. His eyes continuously lifted up to watch some unguarded moment of Kana with her students. She sat on the steps of the gazebo and they sat around her, sunlight filtering through the clouds and into the garden. He had to admit, she had done a marvelous job bringing the flora back to life. There was a sudden bit a noise from the children before her and Solas looked up from his book, as he did every time he finished a page. Kana was demonstrating a type of fire magic and the light burned in her cupped hands, casting on all the bright faces pressing in close to see. Grinning, Solas turned back to his book.

Kana watched Solas in the garden, lounging in one distant corner, reading. He was unguarded, reclining, learning, studying. She'd often watched him do this before, in the Rotunda, either from the doorway or the library above. There were two categories to his reading habits, the serious studying he oft did in his armchair, and the lazy reading that would happen only occasionally, with him sprawled out on the sofa against the wall. She loved to watch him, the focus of his gaze on the words or on his paintings. She wondered if he still had his old sketch book. Knowing him it was probably full, put aside for another. Kana turned her attention back to her students.

She wore a new pair of leggings and footwraps, her leg was once again carefully bandaged underneath them, thanks to her vehnan. None of the children had noticed her change in attire.

"Alright, who can tell me…" Her lesson went on nicely, the magelings building their repertoire. Nothing in the garden was incinerated by accident. She'd assigned each child a partner to hold a filled bucket while the other practiced. She surveyed them closely but her eyes drifted back to her beloved. He looked up too and their gazes met. Kana smiled and Solas did too, seeming to communicate without words but there was still trouble in that connection, things to consider.

Then Solas' eyes shifted towards the door to the Great Hall and Kana followed. An elvhen man came striding through the garden, heading directly for Solas. He stood, greeting the scout, his expression turned to seriousness, to business. Gone was the soft, affectionate man she knew, hidden once again by Fen'Harel. The two men spoke quietly and were too far away for Kana to hear anything. Gestures and a piece of paper were exchanged. Kana watched as Solas nodded and moved to follow the man. But he hesitated, his eyes coming back to her's. She smiled and nodded herself. There was business that needed to be attended to. Kana had her students to look after. Each had their own responsibilities but it was still bittersweet to watch Solas' back disappear through the garden door. He'd left his book on the bench. It was either because he wanted her to return it or had actually forgotten his material. She wasn't sure which.

The scout led Solas from the garden to what once had been the Ambassador's office. There were still little traces of Lady Montilyet. It was there they stopped and it was there that the report was given.

"It's true. Numerous uprisings have been sighted and reported across Thedas, all using the name of Fen'Harel for their vengeance whether they are with us or not." Solas pressed a hand to his forehead. This was not what he wanted. Why couldn't anything work like it was supposed to? He had wanted to doubt Dorian but, after Kana returned to her students; he'd sent word for any such reports to be delivered right to him. It hadn't taken long. The situation was in fact, dire.

"Is that all?" He asked, returning his hand to his side, the scout shook his head.

"No. Our own people are hearing rumors about the rebellions as well. Some are saying that it would be better to go and fight alongside them. They are becoming restless with our inaction." This was not what he wanted. He didn't want to rush from one war right into another. He should have been able to have more time to prepare…but it seemed his ideals were over ruled. He himself was gathering forces yes, but not for revenge, for rejuvenation. This was not to be borne.

"Dismissed." Solas whispered and the man left, closing the door behind him. Things were getting out of hand. This was not how things were supposed to go….but this is what he had predicted. Solas could feel it already, the hatred spurning up from the dregs of society. The humans would hate him, the people would hate him…and eventually so would Kana. If she ever found out...

His mind was clear but his path was foggy. Every time he tried to fix something, something else would happen to throw it all in chaos. And now Dorian had asked Kana to come and try to stop it, laying responsibility and danger at her feet again like a fashionably robe, ready to be placed back on her slight shoulders. Tevinter wouldn't be stopped though. The Magisters would burn down the alienages once more and then there would be war. A war that the elvhen might not win. None of this was supposed to happen yet. He should have had more time, should have kept silent longer. But he'd had to have saved the Exalted Council. Kana. Ferelden, Orlais, they wouldn't have survived the loss of their monarchs, they would have blamed the Inquisition, and fallen to the Qun. If people were to die because of his actions, it would be in peace, comfort. He was not ready to rage a war against Tevinter but unless the fighting could be stopped her would have no choice. And Kana was his only option. He was going to be using her again. But there was still a lot of work ahead. He had a week to make up his mind.

 **…**

Dorian clicked the communication crystal closed then popped it open with his thumb. He'd been sitting in his study, staring at a chessboard, repeating the action for at least an hour. The newly appointed magister felt guilty, more than guilty but he was doing what he knew he had to. It was night now, at least a few hours after he'd finally contacted the Inquisitor.

"Kana, where are you?" the question had been simple, short, and yet she'd answered with such an ambiguous answer. She could have said what country; she could have said north or south. He knew Kana well enough to know that she would have…unless she didn't want them to know where she was. Leliana had stood behind Dorian as he held the active crystal in his palm and the man had to silence her more than once in order to keep her presence unknown, the crystal powerful enough to pick up the smallest of sounds.

He'd told Kana that Leliana had nothing to do with him contacting her, that it was in desperation, fear for her people, that he'd reached out. The danger was real, the elves were revolting in some pockets of Thedas and they could no longer wait for her to contact them. Kana had missed her set deadline. There was something wrong and Dorian could feel it.

The magister felt like they were all on the edge of a knife, balancing precariously. He was, Kana was, elves, humans, Thedas, everyone. The events at the Exalted Council had plunged the world deeper into dire straits. And Dorian wasn't sure what side he was on. He wanted to reform his country, to loosen the treatment of slaves and put stricter regulations on blood magic. That was his fight but there were others larger than his own. The mage-templar war had finally been settled, the Order and Circle restored with the Collage well on its way to becoming a rival establishment. But this wasn't about magic anymore. There were more normal people than mages in the world. If a war between the elves and humans broke out across Thedas, Dorian didn't know what he would do, what he _could_ do. If anything…he hoped Solas knew what _he_ was doing. Restoring the People, bringing down the Veil, it would take years for something like that to happen. Wouldn't it? What did he expect the other people of Thedas to do? The elves were rebelling now, trying to gain power but nothing would come of it, only more death and ridicule and hatred. Dalish, city, slaves, they would all be targeted simply for having pointed ears. If Solas was truly as smart as he always cast himself to be, it _would_ be years before anything tangible would happen. The changes would be gradual, so small that no one would notice until everything added up and the elves had their land, their country, their standing back. It all depended on the now though. Would Solas be so cold as to sacrifice the elves rebelling now? Would Kana?

Leliana had confided in him her new lack of trust for the Inquisitor and her loyalties. Dorian was sure that Kana would try to limit conflict and death as much as she could but he could feel the edge of that knife too. Asking her to betray her people, to put them down into slavery or worse once more would be too much. It would be something she would not do. They would have to endure years of more mistreatment at the hands of humans in order to try and attempt to gain some power politically. The ball at the Winter Palace was two years past. Dorian wasn't sure how things were going with Marquis Briala but not much had been heard about the elves from Orlais, not since the Exalted Council. It seemed that everyone everywhere was trying to reign in their pointed eared citizens. The pieces were falling down and no one could see where they would fall.

She had to come. Dorian had to talk to her, face to face, to find out what she planned to do, what Solas planned to do. The elvhen mage was one of his only friends. No matter her position, he would not betray her so readily, not until he knew he had no choice. If anyone could quiet things down with the elves, with Tevinter, it just might be her. Just maybe.

He would try again, try and contact her tomorrow. Leliana, while listening in on the conversation earlier, felt that _he_ was there with her, or someone else had been at least. Dorian needed to talk to her alone, get her away from Solas or her companions. He needed to talk some sense into her, before she lost herself to someone Dorian wasn't sure could be trusted.

 **…**

Later, after having dinner with her, Solas bid Kana goodnight although he himself had things still yet to do. He wanted some advise, someone other than his love to inquire. Solas headed back to Arlathan, to the Marshall's office. Adris for once was at his desk doing proper paper work and he lifted an eyebrow at the appearance of his visitor.

"I know why you're here. You want me to have some sort of plan or _you_ already have some sort of plan only you're not sure about using it. I may only be the leader of your army but I can still recognize the face of desperation and uncertainty."

Solas paused in the doorway, making a note not to underestimate the man ever gain. Adris continued.

"Honestly, Solas…I don't know if we can. We have a good number of people under our banner but we need to stay in the dark longer, gather more intelligence before launching any conflict, if needed. Our hands are tied here. There is nothing we can do."

Solas sighed, sitting down in the chair before Adris' desk. He pressed a hand to his forehead. Once again, there seemed to be no way out.

"There is one thing. Kana…" Adris raised an eyebrow at the mention of her name and Solas gave him a glare before continuing.

"…has a contact within Tevinter. Magister Dorian Pavus. He has asked her to talk to the Magisterium. They are planning to purge the Alienages." Adris huffed out his disbelief, setting down his pen and running a hand through his amber hair. There seemed only one way to go about this. Kana would have to go but the Marshall could tell that Solas didn't want her to. Adris couldn't blame his apprehension.

"You know you can't go with her. If she goes, she goes alone. That's what is worrying you, isn't it, sending her into the seat of elvhen slavery and magic abuse?" Solas let his eyes connect to Adris'. He kept silent before gazing off in a different direction. The two men sat in quiet with Solas deep in conversation with someone other than the Marshall before him. Mythal was once again hinting at something Solas couldn't see, something he didn't know. He sighed again, fearing the work ahead.

"I can't go to Minrathous…but I can go to the other places and hopefully convince the People against open war." But Fen'Harel doubted himself. He knew all too well what could happen when someone was only out for blood.

…

Mhiris noticed a change, a slightly levity to Kana's working hands. Whatever her and the Dread One had discussed, or not discussed, had certainly improved her mood. However, there was still the underlying sadness and longing that her friend kept close to her skin. The healer caught her looking off towards the main tower more than once.

"Kana." Mhiris called, bringing the woman back to the present. They were mixing potions to be sent with other supplies. Skyhold was once again the heart of an organization and, unlike the Inquisition, Kana was enjoying the fact that she could work freely, applying herself to where they needed a person most, no matter who she was or what she had done before.

Mhiris brought her attention back to their kettles, making sure that Kana was monitoring her's regularly. They were making large batches with a large number of ingredients for each one. Supplies were precious and one bad batch could be a setback.

Kana went back to stirring, her mind still not in the right place. It had been two days since Dorian had contacted her and she couldn't take her mind off of it. She and Solas had not discussed it in their few encounters since. It seemed he was avoiding her again, at least within his mind. They'd eaten together in the Great Hall the night previous but few words were said aloud; the brush of a hand, the pressing of ankles under the table. Theirs was a complicated love but Kana was glad to have as much of it as she could. She had no clan, no family, and no country. Solas was one of the only things that she cherished wholeheartedly and Kana refused to give that up. Even after he'd taken her Vallaslin, even after he'd disappeared, even after the Exalted Council. She'd known him enough, seen enough, to know that he wasn't without his reasons. She'd kept her faith and she was going to show him that he could do the same.

Suddenly, her pot began to simmer and it was only with quick thinking and quick hands that Kana was able to save the batch. Mhiris, clearly not one for patience, rolled her eyes.

"I don't care to know what thoughts take your mind but you are no use to me if they're not here."

Kana apologized and rubbed her hand.

" _High towers, just like on the inside, the outside. I'm almost to the top, never asked them to come down. Just a little higher and I can see over._ Be careful not to burn yourself. _"_

Compassion spoke quietly over Kana's shoulder and she almost careered right into her work at the surprise. She took his words in slowly, wondering if that was how things really were or if that was how Solas felt too.

" _More and more and more. I don't deserve her._ He would like to see you, in Josephine's office."

Mhiris watched as a smile graced her friends face and she rolled her eyes again at the troublesome spirit.

"Then you can say and help me stir these pots."

Cole nodded, eyes, as usual, hidden behind his stringy hair. Kana untied the knot in her apron and folded it over an arm before heading for the stairs to the courtyard then into the Great Hall.

It seemed that as each day passed, Skyhold continued to fill, much as it had during the days of the Inquisition. There were many families, a normal school had begun, housed in one of the old towers, to teach reading, writing, history, the true history. Even Kana's mage school was gaining more and more pupils. Soon the garden might not be enough room. It seemed that this could be the beginning and Kana was going to put her all into it.

She paused outside the office. There was clearly a heated debate going on inside.

"But we haven't many more to send, all out agents in the area have either begun their infiltration and our ambassadors have reported nothing back. But each day the resistance grows. The humans are fortifying their cities, preparing for another war. Dalish clans who have ignored our help have been disappearing. There isn't much more we can do without showing our hands."

The pit in Kana's stomach dropped. She'd been carrying Dorian's message around like a rock for the past two days and each hour it weighed in more.

There was silence from behind the door. Solas did not answer and Kana thought it okay to knock then. Both heads turned when they looked her way and the scout nodded his departure. Solas' face was concerned and he couldn't hide it quickly enough…either that or he didn't try at all. Both still concerned Kana.

He stood behind the desk, leaning over it while papers were strewn everywhere. There were many a day that she and Josephine sat in this very office talking. She stood quietly, ready when he was ready.

"I'm leaving tomorrow morning for the outlying rebellions, to gain their allegiance, some semblance of control."

He stood then, looking up, but looking past her, towards the door. Kana walked forward, knowing that this would not be a simple trip of a few days. It could be weeks before he could come back. Solas looked back down at the desk, feeling undeserving of her.

"Most don't know the extent of my forces, only that elves are rising up, they should be the easiest the pacify. Others will not be so simple, the ones who have committed crimes. The humans will not let their actions go unpunished."

Kana moved around the desk, wrapping a gentle hand around his upper arm. He finally looked down at her.

"I will try to help however I can. I don't want another Exalted March on our People. Something must be done. I must go."

"Well then, you must go."

She smiled deeply, knowing that he needed to hear words of support, comfort. But Solas knew what he was really doing. What he was about to do. He was using her again.

" _You should just ask her. She will go."_

" _I cannot ask her to do_ anything _for me, Mythal, not even blink."_

Solas lifted a hand upward before opening his closed palm. Inside his curled fingers was a smooth red stone.

"Here." Kana took it obligingly, not knowing what it was but thinking that it was beautiful.

"It's a keystone. For the Eluvians, so you don't have to keep asking someone to allow you to visit the capital."

But the hidden message was true enough, one that nearly broke Kana's heart. He was letting her go, giving her the freedom to do as she wished because he would never bar her from her own choices. Not even when it may cost her in the long run. Kana squeezed her palm and brought it up to kiss her fingers.

"Thank you." She said, maneuvering herself between his arms so that they could close around her.

"I will miss you." It was not a lie and it didn't matter whose mouth the sentence actually came out of for it was a truth that they both universally acknowledged.

"We both have our roles to play." Kana said light heartedly, meaning it more towards his role as leader of the elvhen people but also for what she had to do as well. There was the understanding between them, another unspoken thing, like their love still felt to be. And there was something else. Another two sets of sentences that neither dare utter.

 _Please come back to me…_

 _Please let me come back…_

Solas stooped to kiss her forehead, still not selfish enough to take anything more than that at the moment, and left Kana standing in Josephine's old office, clutching what felt to be a physical piece of her heart.

 **...**

 **If you read back, you'll note that I've got a lot of stuff set up to happen so just bear with me. Thanks everyone! Please Review!**

 **Say what you think, if you hate it, love it, any tips and pointers, I am a humble servant (only so far though).**


	30. Author's Note

p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Verdana, Verdana, Arial; font-size: 11.199999809265137px;"Dear Viewers,/p  
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Verdana, Verdana, Arial; font-size: 11.199999809265137px;"I know it has been a long time and for that I am sorry. Pride's Only Weakness was pretty much my catharsis after playing Trespasser so I only had a basis of where I wanted to go and what I wanted to happen. I am currently revising the story to include events during and prior to DAI and I hope that you will check it out when posted. The Lavellan is going to be different from Kana and the story will be posted under a different name as a prequel to POW. Thanks for the support, here's the working premise/title:/p  
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Verdana, Verdana, Arial; font-size: 11.199999809265137px;"The Arcane Archer:/p  
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Verdana, Verdana, Arial; font-size: 11.199999809265137px;"Rysa Lavellan has lived her life cut off from the Fade - a fate chosen for her as a child - but when a mysterious stranger visits her clan, the Keeper sees this as a chance to restore what once was and to further what might be. (OC/AU Lavellan. FemTrevelyan as Inquisitor. And of course, our vhenan.)/p  
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Verdana, Verdana, Arial; font-size: 11.199999809265137px;"Will lead to the revised events of Pride's Only Weakness. Please post any comments, suggestions, or requests for anything that you want me to keep in./p  
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Verdana, Verdana, Arial; font-size: 11.199999809265137px;"Lady LightningBird/p  
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Verdana, Verdana, Arial; font-size: 11.199999809265137px;"Added:/p  
p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: Verdana, Verdana, Arial; font-size: 11.199999809265137px;"(The Arcane Archer has also been postponed as of 2017)/p 


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